11th Nov2019

‘NXT UK’ Review (Nov 7th 2019)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s NXT UK review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have some lions sleeping tonight, because they just got bizaaaaaaaaaay! Thursday sure is a weird day. I hate being run over by people. Cars hurt! Try going through life with the word “Pontiac Aztec” pressed into your ass after being slammed into by a soccer mom with a bad attitude. My kid’s an honor student my ass. Madea makes me giggle like a fat kid fartin’ on the first date with the butcher’s daughter at a 2-for-1 at Western Sizzler. Good God! Let’s get to wrestlin’ before we get to rasslin’! I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about either.

NXT-uk-large

Match #1: Joe Coffey def. Tyson T-Bone

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

“The Iron King” Joe Coffey made his return to in-ring action after an epic Last Man Standing Match at NXT UK TakeOver: Cardiff. Coffey took control of the hard-hitting slugfest with a Glasgow Sendoff in the corner and followed up with a spinning lariat to score the victory.

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – This was over way too quickly. Like most WWE matches, just before this could really get to strutting its way all across town, it got flagged down by the fuzz and held-up for hard cash…and the sticky-icky. Ain’t that a damn shame? Do you think the Doobie Brothers were carrying that… “Doobie” spirit around with them, or did they leave that with their manager for safe-keeping? Either way, these guys brought goods with them to the ring, but the booker yanked it out of their hands and gave it to the oogadie-boogadie and pissed me off! In the name of all that’s holy, why are these matches going so damn short? Who told promoters we want to pay for these little tizzy-gelches? Ain’t nobody got time for that! I feel…like a BET News report.

Match #2: Isla Dawn def. Killer Kelly

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Isla Dawn looked to get back to her winning ways against an opponent who was only recently medically cleared to compete. Coming out strong, Killer Kelly took sadistic glee in punishing her opponent. Despite Kelly’s well-targeted dropkicks toward the end of the battle, Dawn survived to get the pinfall.

My Opinion: 2.7 out of 5 – This was a decent match that…went too short. I’m not writing that whole Tyler Perry speech again. Isla and Killer worked well together, but I bet they could have done more with…more time. Damn it! I wish Emma Thompson was here to book this hachkalogala into some-thing more worthy of TV time. What? If you don’t know what hachkalogala means, then I ain’t the one to tell you. Over-all, this tried to kick some ass, but when you’re late for work and the alarm doesn’t go off until three minutes before you’re supposed to be there…actually, they weren’t late, but…I need a new delete button.

Match #3: (Main Event) Mark Andrews & Flash Morgan Webster vs. Grizzled Young Veterans (No Contest)

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

In a battle between the first two teams to ever capture the NXT UK Tag Team Titles, both squads threw everything they had at one another to get back in the title picture. Before a winner could be determined, however, NXT UK’s top factions came face-to-face in the ring. As NXT UK Champion WALTER shouldered up with Imperium, Ilja Dragunov emerged and appeared to side with Imperium. But in a stunning turn, Dragunov joined ranks with Gallus to take part in a chaotic brawl between the two factions as NXT UK concluded.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was a strong main event that had…lots of time! Holy $#!@! I feel good! Nanananananananananana! I knew that I would! I feel good! Did I keep the nanananananana going too long? Who cares?! This show actually had a match that went long! Look at all the exclamation points! 9! 10! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! Any-way, this match was just what the doctor ordered for a show that had gone sick with the fever…bull-$#!@ fever. Even with the nonsense finish, this match had all sorts of top-notch action from bell to bell and that’s the way it oughta be. All in all, this was an all-out fight that had every-thing it needed (except the finish) to be a success and it was.

News Of The Night:

  1. IIja Dragunov joined Gallus.

Final Verdict: 3.3/5

If the rest of the show had been like the main event, then this would have been one for the ages, but 3.3 ain’t bad.

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