‘All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite’ Review (Aug 5th 2020)

Welcome to this week’s All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have www.righttocensor.com, which takes you to www.allelitewrestling.com, because this shit is so bad you have to censor it. Actually, this whole thing turned out great, so get ready for a very positive review. Okay, we’ve got a couple of great ones here, so git yer britches in a bunch and hold on for dear life, because it’s time for ‘rasslin’…YEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!

Match #1: The Dark Order (Brodie Lee, Colt Cabana, Evil Uno, Stu Grayson, Five & Nine) def. The Elite (Kenny Omega & Adam Page & The Young Bucks—Matt & Nick Jackson) & FTR (Cash Wheeler & Dax Harwood)

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Brodie Lee and Nick Jackson began for their teams, with Brodie decking Nick. Matt Jackson tagged in and the brothers utilized highly effective tandem offense on Brodie until he double clotheslined them! Brodie tagged in Nine, who was isolated in the corner of The Elite and FTR. They all took turns tagging in and focusing their offense on Nine. Evil Uno and Stu Grayson finally saw enough and rushed Kenny Omega, who had attempted to pin Nine. FTR ran in and saved Page and Omega from suplexes from The Dark Order. The tag champs and FTR combined forces to execute a triple vertical suplex on The Dark Order! Omega went for the pin attempt but it was broken up by “Boom Boom” Colt Cabana! Omega chased Colt to the outside of the ring, but Omega was lured in by a thrust kick from Brodie Lee who was waiting just around the corner! “Brodie Lee has done a great job integrating Colt Cabana into The Dark Order, and it’s been paying off,” remarked Tony Schiavone. Harwood tagged in and hit a quick snap leg drop on Five. He tagged in Cash who caught Five midleap frog and scoop slammed him! Page was tagged in and Five grappled him down with a front face lock, forcing him to The Dark Order’s corner. Grayson entered the ring and began to aggressively stomp on Page, and then followed up with hard knee strikes to Page’s midsection! Omega entered the fray and The Elite had his back, all his friends cleaning house on The Dark Order! “The Elite is back,” said Tony Schiavone. “This match has had more symmetry than I thought,” noted Jim Ross. Dax and Cash double-teamed Five with an elbow-backbreaker combo, but Dax injured his knee in the process. The Dark Order were like sharks, smelling blood in the water. They seized on Kenny Omega in the ring. Next Matt Jackson was sidewalk slammed by Brodie Lee and then powerbombed by Evil Uno. Matt kicked out of the pin attempt! “How about this six on three advantage that The Dark Order has? Apparently ‘Hangman’ has left ringside to join Cash Wheeler helping Dax Harwood of FTR to the back. Why would he leave?” asked Tony Schiavone. “The Dark Order here with Colt Cabana, that’s a massive advantage,” replied Taz. “How about Colt Cabana working in sync with The Dark Order here?” asked Tony Schiavone, after Colt splashed onto Matt Jackson. Matt Jackson got fired up and wiped out all of The Dark Order, one after another! “Hangman” Page finally walked down the ramp to rejoin the match and Matt tagged him in! “Page is taking on every member of The Dark Order by himself here,” said Tony Schiavone. Page took out The Dark Order with a moonsault to the outside of the ring. Brodie Lee just stared at him from the inside of the ring. Brodie tagged himself in and he and Page exchanged forearms! Brodie smashed Page with a tope suicida! Colt Cabana was tagged in and hit the Chicago Skyline on Page, but Omega prevented the pin. Grayson followed up with a 450 splash onto Page but Page found the grit to kick out! “This is a tremendous 12-man tag match,” said Tony Schiavone. Page ducked a clothesline from Brodie Lee and was greeted by a superkick party from the Bucks! Matt and Nick dished out superkicks to the remainder of The Dark Order. “Anyone left to superkick?” asked Tony Schiavone. Omega grabbed Brodie, whipping him back with a snapdragon suplex, the momentum from the Bucks’ superkicks giving the suplex extra impact! It was a combination snapdragon suplex/superkick party on Mr. Brodie Lee! Page attempted for the Buckshot Lariat on Brodie but The Dark Order interfered. Page almost connected with Omega instead but barely missed. Brodie nearly took off Page’s head with a dominant lariat and scored the pin on “Hangman”!

My Opinion: 4.5 out of 5 – Now this was some wild shit. I mean it. There were so many large chunks of this match where nobody stopped doing anything for so long that you’d be hard-pressed to assume that nobody died after the finish was hit. I’m not kidding. There’s so much in the way of kinetic wrestling here that I couldn’t believe how much juice was still in every-body’s tank by the end. I can’t even begin to describe where to start with this, other than we got action within the first second and let-up for only a few brief spots. We’re talking about seventeen minutes plus of break-neck wrestling action where nobody took a breath, let alone a break. I’m getting all exhausted talking about this. Hey, I didn’t crack a joke yet…women’s basketball. Heh. Heh. Heh. Ha. Ha! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HAAAAAA! HAAAAAA! HAAAA! HAA! HA! Ha! Ha. Heh. H…they play better than I do. Over-all, this match kicked ass.

Match #2: Best Friends (Chuck Taylor & Trent) def. Santana & Ortiz

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Santana and Chuck tied up with a collar and elbow. Santana got the better of it with a reversal. Ortiz and Trent tagged in and Trent. Trent dropped Ortiz with double knees to the chest and followed up with a Northern Lights suplex for a one-count! “The pace of the match seems to favor Santana and Ortiz here,” noted Tony Schiavone. “Yeah, I agree with you, Tony, they want to grind you down, beat you down,” replied Taz. After a double reversal, Trent caught Santana with a swinging DDT. Best Friends began to double-team Ortiz and then went in for the hug because you’ve got to give the people what they want! Trent and Chuckie T. connected with double back elbows on Santana. “Chuck is unorthodox but he’s efficient in that ring. He gets things done,” said Taz. Trent came off the top with a double ax handle onto Santana. After hitting a low dropkick on Trent, Santana tagged in Ortiz. Ortiz planted Trent with a cradle suplex for a near fall. Ortiz grabbed Trent’s leg and sat into a crab. Trent and Ortiz traded chops until Ortiz poked Trent in the eyes! Santana used a high uranage on Trent but Trent kicked out at one! Trent fought back, knocking Ortiz off the apron with a right forearm, and then an elbow to Santana! On the outside, Ortiz grabbed Trent’s ankle and pulled him down hard, sending Trent crashing spine first on the ring apron! Santana flew out at Chuck with a tope suicida! Santana and Ortiz focused their offense on Trent’s lower back with punches and vertical suplexes. “Trent is in a ton of pain with that lower back,” noted Taz. “Gonna be hard to kick out,” added Jim Ross. Trent managed to connect with a desperation clothesline and got the tag to Chuck! Ortiz got served up some Sole Food from Chuck, and then a falcon arrow for a two-count! Trent showed his fighting spirit and accepted a tag from Chuck. Trent was propped up on Chuck’s shoulders and superplexed Ortiz off the top turnbuckle! “I don’t know who’s hurt worse after that—Trent or Ortiz,” pondered Jim Ross. Chuck reached for a tag but was pulled off the apron by Santana and then rammed into the guardrail! Ortiz dropped Trent with a powerbomb and then Santana came through with a pump kick to Trent’s face! Trent kicked out at two! “My God! I thought for sure that was it,” said Tony Schiavone. “Gotta give the man a ton of credit. Trent has a ton of heart,” added Taz. Santana and Ortiz attempted their Street Sweeper finisher on Trent but Chuck knocked Santana off the top rope. Trent rolled through on Ortiz and scored the pin for the victory!

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was certainly a step down from the last match, but not a steep step down. S&O had their best showing in some time here, where they started to feel like they used to on the Indies and in IMPACT. Best Friends slapped the tuna fish out of Proud & Powerful’s mouth, because there’s a global shortage stamps. I enjoyed the light touch a lot of this had, but also that it was balanced with a mean streak that had an edge to it if you got down far enough to find it. I liked this and I thought it was a fine follow-up to the opener.

Match #3: Matt Cardona and Cody [Rhodes] (with Arn Anderson) def. John Silver & Alex Reynolds

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

“Cardona looks phenomenal,” said Tony Schiavone. Cody hooked John Silver with a single-leg. Cody dumped Silver forward after holding him up in a delayed vertical suplex position. He tagged in Cardona. Cardona rammed Silver’s head onto the top turnbuckle! He followed up with a beautifully executed flapjack! Silver rallied back with several round kicks and tagged in Reynolds. Reynolds attempted a suplex on Cardona but Cardona countered with a neck breaker. He tagged in Cody, displaying strong team continuity between the two of them. Cody was thrown into the corner by Reynolds, his ribs getting banged up in the process. Cody was hurt but he was able to hit a pump kick. Reynolds, and then a straight right hand. Silver pulled Cody’s legs out from under him and Reynolds crashed onto Cody’s ribs! “The ribs of Cody are really taking a pounding,” said Jim Ross. Both members of The Dark Order dropped elbow after elbow onto Cody, utilizing the 10-count their allowed with the legal tag. Reynolds and Silver continued the assault on Cody’s ribs with impressive tandem offense. “First time Cody is teaming here with his longtime friend Matt Cardona but Cody is in trouble,” noted J.R. “Right now this is all Reynolds and Silver,” replied Tony Schiavone, as Silver blasted Cody in the ribs with roundhouse kicks. Cody caught Silver with a Buzz Sawyer-like scoopslam, giving him enough momentum to tag in Cardona! Cardona hit a missile dropkick on Reynolds! He started decimating Reynolds with powerful forearm shots! Cardona with the sit-out powerbomb on Reynolds! Silver interfered to break up the pin, but Cody jumped in with a cutter on Silver to neutralize him! Reynolds clotheslined Cody, knocking him to the arena floor! “It looks like Cardona has got to do this on his own,” said Jim Ross. The Dark Order hit a German suplex on Cardona and tried a jackknife pin but Cardona kicked out! Cody returned to battle and tossed Reynolds out of the ring! He attempted CrossRhodes on Silver but Silver countered. Both men crashed and burned onto the concrete after a suplex from Silver! Cardona was waiting for Silver and caught him with his Radio Silence finisher for the victory!

My Opinion: 3.2 out of 5 – This was good ol’ basic tag grappling with Silver really standing out and Reynolds having a good night too. Cardona looked just fine in his debut, while Cody was Suavecito. If you like wrestling that doesn’t take too many turns and lose you along the way, then this sucker will be your muther-phucker.

Match #4: Big Swole def. Reba

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Big Swole grabbed a head lock, and then punched Reba in the lower back. Baker distracted Big Swole, allowing Reba the opportunity to catch Swole off guard and then slam her! She connected with a backspin kick on Swole! Reba missed a moonsault from the second turnbuckle when Big Swole rolled out of the way! Big Swole nailed Reba with her Dirty Dancing finisher for the victory!

My Opinion: 1.2 out of 5 – This was intentionally bad, with Reba not remembering how to wrestle. Swole clobbered Reba until she won a clumsy squash match.

Match #5: (Main Event) Jon Moxley def. Darby Allin – AEW World Championship Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Darby walked to the ring wearing a creepy cut-out Moxley face mask. Moxley walked up to Darby and ripped the mask off him. Darby returned the gesture by slapping Mox in the face! Mox knocked down Darby with one punch to the face! Darby’s mouth was bleeding and Darby smiled when he tasted it. Darby paint brushed the champ again, but Mox stopped him in his tracks with a hellacious lariat! “Darby’s in big time trouble and I love it,” said Taz. Darby surprised Mox with an arm drag off the top rope! He followed up with a dropkick to Mox! Darby got a full head of steam, sprinted and launched himself like a missile at Mox on the ramp! Moxley grabbed Darby by the head and ran him off the ramp, Darby’s head slamming against the ring post! Moxley pulled Darby back inside the ring and continued to pummel him. Mox had Darby in an STF submission and told him to tap, but Darby refused and replied with two middle fingers! “Darby has to try to get away from Moxley,” said Schiavone. “I’ve studied Moxley with Brian Cage and Mox smothers his opponent. That’s what he does well,” added Taz. “He’s not doing it right now which leads me to believe he’s showing a little bit of mercy on Darby,” said J.R. “When I tell you to tap, you tap!” barked Moxley. Darby threw himself at Mox, and both of them spilled onto the arena floor. Darby came up in the mounted position and hammered down with fists on Moxley! Darby climbed back into the ring and sprinted and rocketed himself through the ropes out at Moxley with a tope suicida! Darby placed Mox’s hand on top of the ring post and stood on it with all of his weight. Darby launched himself off the top of the post onto Moxley! “Mox may have a broken hand or finger because of that,” observed Taz. Darby hit the Code Red on Moxley for a near fall! “He almost won the world championship with that Code Red,” said Schiavone. Darby went to the top turnbuckle but Mox met him up there and chucked him with a German suplex! Luckily for Darby, he was able to rotate and avoid landing on his head. “I think Moxley got the worse side of this coin,” said Jim Ross, as both men were crawling towards one another. Wardlow came down the ramp and distracted the referee. As the ref had his back turned, MJF ran in from the other side and walloped Moxley in the head with the AEW World title! Darby, unaware of what transpired, connected with a Coffin Drop onto Moxley! The champ was able to kick out just before the three-count! Mox was split open from the belt-shot! “MJF played a major card tonight in his game plan. MJF wants no part of Moxley and might not have to worry about him if Darby can put Mox away here,” said Jim Ross. Mox, barely able to stand on spaghetti legs, was knocked back down by a shotgun dropkick from Darby! The challenger followed up with a cutter! Darby came off the ropes for a running elbow, but both men were taken down when their skulls collided with one another. Darby attempted another Coffin Drop but Mox turned his body on the mat and caught Darby in a rear naked choke! “I can’t believe Darby Allin has lasted this long,” said Jim Ross. Darby reached for Mox’s eyes. Moxley let go of the sleeper and instead opted to plant Darby with a Gotch-style piledriver! Somehow Darby kicked out at two! “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody kick out of that Gotch-style piledriver, especially one that was executed as well as Mox executed it!” added J.R. Mox shook his head in disbelief and made the sign of the cross. Reluctantly, Mox put Darby in the Paradigm Shift and spiked him. Moxley pinned Darby for the victory! After the match, Moxley hugged Darby, showing how much respect he has Darby. Backstage, MJF was furious as his plan had backfired.

My Opinion: 4 out of 5 – This was a bit messy in parts, but it was a slobber-knocker through and through. The idea was that Allin practically committed suicide to get the title and died before he could snatch the strap. Allin, who was accused of being a sadist by his girlfriend, kind of gave of that vibe here, so much so that it was kind of hard to watch him from time to time. I get very uncomfortable with the way Allin treats violence in wrestling and I hope that such an attitude is not something he carries with him all the time. As for Moxley, he was the big, mean bastard with a heart of gold and I loved it. This version of Moxley is one that can be a big draw, if they let him expand on it. As for the minutia of the action, it was brawling and slams and all of those meaty attacks that make a fight a fight. I could go for another one of these.

News Of The Night:

1. Matt Hardy is now calling himself Matthew Hardy, as a symbol of him ending that stupid Broken Universe shit.
2. Matt Hardy was attacked by Sammy Guevara and bloodied in a vicious with weapons galore.
3. Eric Bischoff over-saw the debate between Chris Jericho and Orange Cassidy, which saw OC speak at length on global warming and how Jericho is a jerk who is afraid to lose to a guy with his hands in pockets.
4. Chris Jericho and Jake Hager attacked Orange Cassidy.
5. Big Swole’s suspension is over.
6. Scorpio Sky wants a TNT Title match.
7. Brodie Lee is taunting Adam Page for not joining The Dark Order.
8. MJF had a goofy skit where he had his war-room for getting high placement in the polls against Jon Moxley.
9. Santana & Ortiz destroyed The Best Friend’s van.

Final Verdict: 4.1/5

Two matches going four and over, along with a couple of fine matches in the middle carried this to a fabulous score. Hell, even the Jericho/Cassidy debate was a lot of fun. Take this episode, take out the comedy and you’ll have a blue-print on how to get more viewers.