‘All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite’ Review (June 10th 2020)
Welcome to this week’s All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and ya’ may be able to beat me at the game of golf…but ya’ canna beat me at the pipes! I…aw crlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlap, they brlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrloke. Well, while we fix these lovely ol’ bag-o-pipes, we’ll smack that ass in the name of life, liberlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlty, frlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrleedom and wrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlestling!
Match #1: #FTR (Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler) def. The Butcher & The Blade
The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:
“A lot of people are interested in this team,” said Jim Ross about #FTR. “They’re the hottest free agents!” added Jericho. Tully Blanchard was shown scouting them from the seats, as was Arn Anderson. #FTR tagged in and out and worked over The Blade’s arm, cutting off the ring in half. The Butcher and Cash Wheeler slugged it out. Cash lured in The Butcher after feigning injury for a near fall. Cash was double-teamed while ref Paul Turner was distracted. The Butcher and The Blade took turns working over Cash, trying to tire him out. Cash countered a leapfrog from The Blade with a powerslam. Cash tagged in Dax who cleaned house, hitting a brain buster on The Blade! #FTR gave an assisted DDT to The Butcher! This set up a superplex and a top rope elbow drop from #FTR on The Blade for a two count! “I’m really enjoying this smash mouth style of pro wrestling we’re seeing here tonight,” said Jericho. #FTR connected with the Goodnight Express on The Butcher, and then the Mind Breaker stuffed piledriver for the pin fall victory on The Blade!
My Opinion: 3.4 out of 5 – This was real firm and fine, like that place where I buried that body…you know. #FTR (stupid f—— name) matched-up well with the Ginsu Twins and beat their Miracle Blade asses until they couldn’t piss excellence anymore. Hey, knives gotta pee too. I liked the way they focused on mat wrestling and proper tag protocol, like keeping your hands inside the vehicle and not grabbing anyone’s ass without permission. This was a very satisfying opener that made both teams look the best they have in many months.
Match #2: Penelope Ford and Nyla Rose def. Kris Statlander and Hikaru Shida
The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:
Statlander chopped down Nyla and then delivered a short drop kick to the head for a near fall. Shida and Kris used rapid tags and crisp tandem offense on “The Native Beast.” Nyla got the upper hand though, dropping Kris with a body slam and then a leg drop. Shida gave a running knee to Penelope Ford who was draped across the top turnbuckle. She gave another running knee and then a top rope missile drop kick to Ford! Shida tagged in Kris, but Ford blasted Kris with a DDT! Ford tagged in Nyla, but Nyla got caught with a superkick from Kris Statlander! Kris gave a big axe kick to Nyla, but Nyla was still able to kick out of the pin attempt! Shida went for a Falcon Arrow but Nyla reversed it and placed Shida on the top rope. Nyla connected with a stereo leg drop from the top rope to both Shida and Kris! Shida ran into the ropes but Sabian grabbed her leg. As the ref was distracted, Ford knocked out Shida with a wicked shot from the championship belt! Ford was able to pin Shida after a suplex, but there’s no question the belt shot did most of the work to finish off Shida!
My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – This was okay, but it never felt like it got started, despite there being some good action from bell to bell. Ford is getting better, but she still has some work to do get more precise with her movements. All in all, Statlander is weird and Shida didn’t stand out very much, which isn’t a good sign for the Women’s Champion.
Match #3: Orange Cassidy and Best Friends (Chuck Taylor & Trent) def. Inner Circle (Jake Hager and Santana & Ortiz)
The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:
Jim Ross mentioned that there are issues between Chris Jericho and Orange Cassidy. The Inner Circle jumped their competition before the bell rang! Orange Cassidy was wiped out on the stage. “We have the hive mentality in the Inner Circle, all for one and one for all!” said Jericho. Trent took to the skies with a tope suicida on Jake Hager! Trent speared Ortiz on the outside! Chuck Taylor hit Santana with a tope con giro! As Best Friends went to hug, Inner Circle seized the moment to unleash an onslaught of offense on them. Hager hit a Vader Bomb on Trent! “We’re going to call that a ‘Hager Bomb’ from now on,” said Jericho. Trent rallied back and spiked Ortiz with a swinging DDT! Orange was tagged in and faced off with Jake Hager. Orange Cassidy single-handedly took out Hager, Santana and Ortiz with a stunning sequence of offense! Santana wiped out Orange with a vicious cannonball in the corner! With an assist from Chuck Taylor, Orange Cassidy managed to roll up Ortiz for the pin!
My Opinion: 2.6 out of 5 – This was okay, but the OC stuff didn’t really do much this time. I like when he actually wrestles, not this “Fonzi wants a nap” thing he does. There’s some nice wrestling this time, but the match just didn’t come together despite their efforts. At least Santana/Ortiz looked good.
Match #4: Sammy Guevara def. Colt Cabana
The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:
Sammy gave the middle finger to the twenty-year ring veteran Cabana. Colt laughed and gave him the salute right back! “There’s nothing wrong with Colt Cabana’s game,” said Jim Ross. “Both these guys need a victory, though,” added Schiavone. Sammy pulled Colt’s gear and sent him crashing to the outside. Sammy floated over the top rope with a press onto Cabana! Cabana charged into the corner, but Sammy clocked him with a kick. Cabana dropped Sammy with a version of the Bionic Elbow, and then followed up with the Flying Apple on Sammy for a near fall! Sammy got caught up on the top rope by Cabana, who sent Sammy down hard. Cabana executed a beautiful moonsault press! Cabana went for the rare, reverse Chicago Skyline but he slipped. Sammy quickly capitalized on Cabana’s mistake and pinned Colt after the GTH!
My Opinion: 2.8 out of 5 – Cabana and Guevara had a weird sort of gonzo appeal here that made me wanna watch a condor dive-bomb the New York Knicks. Guevara is showing more personality in his matches, which really helps sell the shorter one like this. I’d like to see both of these guys keep on wrestling each other for the rest of the year (not all at once), because the freaky chemistry they have here is really exciting.
Match #5: (Main Event) Cody (Rhodes) (with Arn Anderson) def. Marq Quen (with Isiah Kassidy and Matt Hardy) – TNT Championship Match
The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:
Cody offered Quen a handshake and he accepted it as the bell rang. “There’s some speculation that Quen may not be 100% because the last time we saw him he had an ankle injury,” noted Jim Ross. Quen took Cody off his feet with a shoulder tackle and then a quick moonsault. Cody kicked out at one! “Nevertheless, Marq Quen is dominating the opening minutes of this match,” said Jim Ross. Cody captured Quen’s legs and then applied a dragon sleeper. It was clear that Cody scouted Quen’s injury ahead of time, as he started to work over Quen’s ankle. Marq Quen attempted to fight back and jumped to the top rope for a springboard, but his leg gave out on him and he crashed down to the mat! Cody seized the moment and went right back to attacking Quen’s ankle. Quen was trying to gut it out and he connected with a standing moonsault for a two count on Cody! It was clear that his ankle was giving him plenty of trouble though. Quen transitioned from a corkscrew to a DDT on Cody for another near fall! Quen went over the top and crashed onto Cody! Cody attempted a bulldog but Quen dodged it. Quen hit a third dive onto Cody on the outside! Quen, clearly in pain, laboriously climbed to the top. Cody rolled out to the ramp, but Quen threw caution out the window and hit the 450 splash onto Cody! Quen tried for a shooting star press but Cody moved and grapevined Quen’s legs, submitting Quen!
My Opinion: 3.2 out of 5 – Quen gave a good performance, but this was still a match that favored Cody’s Triple H routine. This was a lot of spots and brawling, but the spots were good and the brawl looked like it hurt, so I can’t penalize a match for offering any-thing of quality, even if I wanted more from it. Quen looked the best he’s looked in AEW so far, so that’s some good news. Overall, this was competitive and intense, but it needed more wrestling in it to stick around in the mind.
News of The Night:
- Colt Cabana may join The Dark Order.
- Matt Hardy wants to save Sammy Guevara’s soul…or kill him.
- Chris Jericho beat the shit out of Orange Cassidy with a huge bag of oranges and made him bleed with his cane.
- #FTR and The Young Bucks want to fight each other, but they are both feuding with The Butcher And The Blade.
- QT Marshall is pussy-whipped over the evil Allie…I think (I don’t care).
Final Verdict: 3.3/5
When this was about the matches, the show was fine, but the show was far too obsessed with amusing itself with comedy.
