26th Jun2015

‘Fast Cars Fast Women’ DVD Review (Vinegar Syndrome)

by Mondo Squallido

(1981, dir: Scott McHaley)
“With Every Lap She Will Shift Your Gears!!!”


Fast Cars Fast Women opens up with a cute little blonde named Kristy, played by Sylvia Benedict (The Bitch Goddess), getting pulled over by a cop. Even though she is more than willing to ‘cooperate’ with the officer, she still gets the ticket! No need to worry though, she’s on her way straight away because she has an appointment with the feisty Molly, head of the Davis Racing Team, played by Kay Parker (Sexworld). Before that however, she has some catching up with her old room-mate Casey, played by Carolyn Jackson (Anytime Anyplace). I think you know what I mean by ‘catching up’…

As they are busy being reacquainted, we meet Molly’s rival. He’s a sleazy piece of work named Orson, played by Al Chiurrizi (in his only starring role). His second in command is Dutch, played by Ron Jeremy (Orgazmo). He too is a sleazy piece of shit, but with added moustache! Dutch wants to buy Molly out, but she is one tough cookie. So much so, that even the blatant tampering of her cars (which lead to a fatality) won’t make her succumb to his harassment. That’s one hell of a woman right there! Anyway, once Kristy has met with Molly and has been warned about the potential dangers, she’s on the team straight away and ready for action. Before we get to see any racing action, there’s a hell of a lot ‘team bonding’. Enough to make even the likes of Bernie Eccleston blush! Once we do get to the tracks, Kristy sure shows us that she knows her way around a gear stick. Will her new career take off? Will she be Dutch’s next victim? Can she be bought!? Well, you’re going to have to buckle yourself in and find out for yourself!

Fast Cars Fast Women is a very enjoyable piece of film. There’s a great story there that has depth and is somewhat original. The acting isn’t the greatest, but the likes of Ron Jeremy and Kay Parker more than make up for that. The female cast throughout (patriarchy warning!) are very pleasing on the eye, but not only that, they are all strong characters. The racing action is well done, but is taken down a gear compared to the ‘off road’ action. Speaking of which, the hardcore elements of this entry are all solid and if you like a bit of lady love, there’s enough here to shake a stick at. It’s always a good thing seeing Kay Parker on screen.

Aesthetically, this film is very competent. There’s a great use of an actual racetrack and some of the cars on display are just as nice to look at as the female cast. It’s shot well and stock footage is incorporated somewhat seamlessly, we are nowhere near Mattei territory in that regard! For those looking for some good laughs, there’s some really spot on humour throughout. There’s even a nice amount of fighting in the film. It’s clear this was directed by a stuntman! All in all a solid effort that has something for everyone.

Fast Cars Fast Women is available alongside Starship Eros on a double feature DVD from Vinegar Syndrome.


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