Nerdly » HorRHIFFic 2025: ‘Simon Says’ Review

06th Mar2025

HorRHIFFic 2025: ‘Simon Says’ Review

by Phil Wheat

Stars: Eleanor McMahon, David Virgo, Leila Kotori, Julia Quayle, Reece Alexander, Louisa Warren, Tony Fadil, Hope Tyler | Written by Christopher Jolley | Directed by Steven M. Smith

Simon Says is the latest film from prolific filmmaker Steven M. Smith, whose name you may not be aware of but whose films, if you’ve ever browsed the DVD selection in your local Asda or Morrisons, you’ve probably seen on shelves. This time round he’s not only working with writer Christopher Jolley, who penned the likes of Doll House, The Ghosts of Borley Rectory and Britain’s Greatest Ghost Stories, but also filmmaker and producer Louisa Warren and her company ChampDog Films. It’s not surprising given Warren’s appearance in the aforementioned Britain’s Greatest Ghost Stories AND this fear flick too!

The film purports to give us the original story of the phrase “Simon Says” and follows a group of lonely hearts who are all catfished online. They all know their suitor by different names but are individually enticed to come to his Scottish castle for a romantic weekend. Once there, they find themselves trapped, unable to leave. Then one of them finds an ancient board game titled “Simon Says” and they must play to the death…

Like many a slasher film, Simon Says is really a play on the classic tale by Agatha Christie: And Then There Were None/Ten Little Indians – though in this case it’s four strangers rather than eight. Budget constraints maybe? To be fair to the film, Simons Says feels, for me, like the most accomplished of Smith’s films so far. It looks really great, it sounds even better, and the film has a wonderful dark atmosphere of dread – all of which is even more impressive knowing Smith works with minuscule budgets.

A lot of the kudos has to go to cinematographer Benjamin C Mills, who makes Simons Says look unlike any of Smith’s other work – the film honestly doesn’t look as “cheap” as his other films, foregoing the more digital look of movies like Britain’s Greatest Ghost Stories and giving the finished product a deep, rich tone. The locale probably helps too – with its combination of deep wood furnishings, rich decor and some interesting room design choices!

It does take a while for the action to ramp up, there’s a lot of talking and exploring the castle in which our protagonists – Clara, Tony, Dina and Samantha – are staying but it’s not until our four leads start to play the game that things REALLY get interesting. You see it turns out that it’s not just our catfish who’s lied – his guests have too. Well, lie in the fact they omitted to reveal their innermost secrets – at first that is. One did “something” to her sister and pays the price for not revealing what; another was struck off as a doctor for operating under the influence, you get the gist. Our protagonists are not a clean-cut as they’d like you, or their host, to think. It really feels like Simon is seeking justice for what they’ve done via the game. I say feels because that plot point seemingly went over the heads of the filmmakers – something which could’ve given the film a much deeper, more meaningful, villain.

Speaking of villains, the titular “Simon” looks surprisingly like Jack the Ripper (something reflected in the film’s artwork) wearing a scarf over his mouth and round red sunglasses rather than anything supernaturally terrifying, and certainly nothing like the undead character portrayed on the sequel’s poster(!) even if his actions are completely supernatural.

Eventually we’re left with Clara (Eleanor McMahon) and Tony (David Virgo) who, discussing their fate, jump to massive conclusions – with Clara somehow knowing about the history of the castle and the legend of Simon Says, and both get all “meta” in regards to the situation feeling like a horror film! It’s a step too far, too quick, ultimately feeling utterly forced and utterly false, taking the audience out of the film.

Smith and Jolley do a lot to backtrack from that though as Clara meets one of Simon’s other victims, trapped in another dimension but still locked in the castle and goes back, along with Tony, at the behest of said victim, to playing the game – hoping to beat Simon. Although all that takes place in the film’s last 20 or so minutes and by that time some of the audience will have probably tuned out. Which, for some, might be best, as we end up with a bizarre otherworldly explanation as to why “Simon” and the game exist and, like Wargames, the solution is Tic Tac Toe (Noughts & Crosses). Yet another meta reference… I said it was bizarre.

Along the way there are a few production issues – in particular during a scene where a light looks like it cuts out and everyone just carries on, ultimately finishing the scene in near-darkness; and there are a few performance problems, mainly from those NOT playing the films key characters (you’ll know who when you see them) – but overall Simon Says is one of Steven M. Smith’s most accomplished films in terms of overall production. And guess what? In true horror villain style, Simon Says is apparently getting a sequel, which is already in the can and ready for release in September. Another Steven M Smith horror franchise ahoy!