01st Apr2022

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (March 31st 2022)

by Phil Wheat

Welcome to this week’s review of Impact Wrestling, which this week opens with a Before the Impact match that saw Black Taurus defeat Violent By Design’s Deaner. With that out of the way let’s get right into the main show!

Match #1: ROH World Champion Jonathan Gresham def. Kenny King

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

King rakes the eyes of Gresham, then takes him off his feet with a slingshot corkscrew to the floor. Gresham hits a dropkick, followed by multiple chops in the corner to gain momentum. Gresham crashes and burns off the top as he clutches at his knee. Turnabout is fair play as Gresham begins to target the knee of King. King comes back with a Spinebuster for two. King hits a Full Nelson suplex into a Tiger Driver for another near fall. King’s knee gives out, allowing Gresham to lock in the Figure Four Leg Lock. King’s shoulders are down as the referee counts to three, awarding the pinfall victory to Gresham!

My Score: 3.5 out of 5

Match #2: The Good Brothers (Doc Gallows & Karl Anderson) def. Johnny Swinger & Zicky Dice

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Zicky Dice is ready for his next lesson at Swinger’s Dungeon as he teams with Johnny Swinger to battle two “chumps”. Out come the former IMPACT World Tag Team Champions, The Good Brothers, and it appears that Zicky and Swinger may have bitten off more than they can chew! Gallows quickly gains control with a Fallaway Slam to Zicky. The Good Brothers hit the Magic Killer to score the quick victory!

My Score: 1.5 out of 5

Match #3: Josh Alexander def. Madman Fulton

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Josh Alexander looks to take out his pent-up rage and aggression on Madman Fulton! Fulton goes for a big boot at the opening bell but Alexander ducks and hits a vicious German suplex. Alexander sends him toppling to the outside with a running clothesline over the top rope. Alexander comes back with a powerbomb, then locks in the Ankle Lock to win by submission!

My Score: 1.5 out of 5

Match #4: Knockouts World Championship #1 Contenders Battle Royal – Rosemary def. Gisele Shaw, Lady Frost, Savannah Evans, Jordynne Grace, Jessie McKay, Madison Rayne, Tenille Dashwood, Havok & Alisha

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

The winner of this 10-Knockout Battle Royal will become the #1 Contender for the Knockouts World Title currently held by Tasha Steelz! Speaking of the champ, she joins Tom Hannifan and Matthew Rehwoldt on commentary. Elimination will occur when a Knockout is thrown over the top rope with both of her feet touching the floor. Decay hits Alisha with a double team backbreaker spear before Havok eliminates her. Everyone teams up with throw Havok over the top rope. McKay hits Dashwood with a boot on the apron to eliminate her. Rayne spears McKay but Kaleb With a K catches her on the outside. Grace capitalizes off the distraction to eliminate Rayne. Evans hits a Samoan Drop on McKay, then tosses her over the top for the elimination. Evans squares off with Grace, leading to a boot from Evans to eliminate her. Rosemary, Shaw and Frost blindside Evans and toss her to the floor. We are down to the final three, Rosemary, Shaw and Frost. All three Knockouts jockey for position on the ropes as Rosemary eliminates them both to become the #1 Contender for the Knockouts World Title!

My Score: 2.5 out of 5

Match #5: Bhupinder Gujjar def. Aiden Prince

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Brian Myers provides alternate commentary for this match from his “Commentate-A-Pro” announce desk! Bhupinder Gujjar looks to continue his winning ways against the poised and determined Aiden Prince. Gujjar sends him crashing off the apron to the floor. Prince begins to retreat up the ramp but Gujjar throws him back into the ring. Gujjar catches Prince in mid-air and hits a powerslam for two. Gujjar charges into the corner but Prince gets his boot up to gain control. Gujjar comes back with a Slingblade, followed by another powerslam. Prince crashes and burns on a 450 splash, allowing Gujjar to capitalize with the corner spear to win!

My Score: 2 out of 5

Match #6: Masha Slamovich def. Abby Jane

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Can anyone stop Masha Slamovich? Abby Jane tries her luck right here, right now! Slamovich is so confident that she turns her back on her opponent to begin the match. Jane clubs her in the back but Slamovich quickly counters into a German suplex. Slamovich hits the Snow Plow to score another dominant victory!

My Score: 1 out of 5

Match #7: Bullet Club (Jay White & Chris Bey) def. Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley)

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Jay White and Chris Bey are out to even the score with the Motor City Machine Guns after being defeated by them in what they claim was “controversial fashion” just a few weeks ago on IMPACT. Shelley hits White with a slingshot splash, followed by a senton from Sabin. White knocks Shelley off the apron, then Bey capitalizes as he soars with a top rope crossbody to Sabin. As the Bullet Club begins to wear Sabin down, Sabin uses his speed to evade the oncoming attack and make the tag to Shelley. The pace quickens as Shelley hits a Flatliner DDT combo on both members of the Bullet Club. Shelley locks in the Border City Stretch on Bey but White rakes his eyes to break the hold. White trips up Sabin from the floor as Bey connects with a pinpoint Enzuigiri to the back of Shelley’s head. Bey inadvertently takes out White with a dive after Shelley ducks out of the way. Sabin launches himself off the apron with a diving senton to White. Back in the ring, the Guns hit Bey with Thunder Express for two. Bey crashes into both Sabin and Shelley with a dive over the top rope to the floor. Sabin has Bey rolled up but White is distracting the referee. The Guns hit Skull and Bones on Bey but he’s somehow able to kick out before the referee’s three count. Sabin counters the Art of Finesse into a mid-air German suplex. White hits a Half and Half suplex on Sabin, followed by a succesful Art of Finesse from Bey to win!

My Score: 4 out of 5

Final Verdict: 3/5

A rare misfire for Impact this week, with only the opening and closing matches on this card providing any real entertainment. The rest of the show was average at best, with too many squash matches for a show that’s leading to a HUGE Wrestlecon show the next night… We got a pre-taped segment (in a pre-taped show) with JONAH taking on PCO in a backstage brawl; no idea why Impact threw the dramatic music on top of the action – totally took away from the aggressive nature of the “fight” and made it feel TOO cinematic! The only real plus of this show, for me, was Rosemary winning the #1 contender’s match – she REALLY deserves to win the title. Really.

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