13th Aug2021

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (Aug 12th 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have Michael Flattley, The Lord Of the Dance. Michael Flattley, The Lord Of The Dance: I am Michael Flattley, The Lord Of The Dance! Me: Dancing’s stupid! (Michael Flattley is shot) Dance your p—y ass now! Well, Impact has a fine Battle Royal for a World Title shot and Jay White is back. Aren’t you excited? Okay! Let’s get to Impact!

Match #1: Tenille Dashwood (w/Kaleb With A K) b. Taylor Wilde

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Tenille Dashwood has made it clear that she doesn’t want Taylor Wilde in IMPACT Wrestling. But much to her chagrin, Taylor is back and has revenge on her mind! Taylor hits a Hurricanrana but Kaleb drags Tenille under the bottom rope so that she can regain her composure. Tenille tries to use Kaleb’s fanny pack as a weapon but is caught red-handed by the referee. Taylor chases Kaleb around ringside but the distraction allows Tenille to capitalize with a swinging neckbreaker for two. Tenille hits a double underhook slam into the corner, followed by her signature running forearm. Kaleb tries to spray hairspray in the eyes of Taylor but catches the referee instead! Out of nowhere, Madison Rayne returns and blindsides Taylor from behind! Tenille hits the Spotlight Kick to win.

The Verdict: 6 out of 10

Match #2: Josh Alexander b. Daivari

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

As Josh Alexander prepares to defend his title against Jake Something at Emergence, he has stated that he will give Daivari an X-Division Title opportunity if he can defeat him tonight! Alexander gains control in the early going as Jake Something watches on from the top of the ramp. Alexander collides with Daivari following a running crossbody on the apron. The fight spills to the outside where Daivari sends Alexander into steel guardrail. Daivari puts his feet on the ropes for leverage but Alexander still kicks out at two. Alexander turns the tide with one German suplex after the other, followed by Divine Intervention to win!

The Verdict: 6 out of 10

Match #3: FinJuice (David Finlay & Juice Robinson) b. Bullet Club (Chris Bey & Jay White)

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

After he was welcomed into the Bullet Club last week, Chris Bey joins forces with the group’s leader, Jay White, to battle FinJuice in a preview of what’s to come at NJPW Resurgence! White distracts Juice from the outside, allowing Bey to capitalize with a flurry of offense. Moments later, White repeatedly drives Juice into the hardest part of the ring. After several minutes of being worn down, Juice creates separation with a vertical suplex! Finlay comes in like a house of fire and hits Bey with a spinning suplex for two! Finlay sends White toppling over the top rope with a clothesline. FinJuice have Bey beat following the Doomsday Device but White hits Juice with a steel chair to cause the disqualification!

The Verdict: 6 out of 10

Match #4: John Skyler b. Matt Cardona

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

John Skyler is out to prove himself tonight as he looks for a spot on the IMPACT roster. Cardona gains control from the opening bell with a running dropkick! Skyler turns things around momentarily with a slingshot spear through the ropes. Cardona is measuring Skyler when Rohit Raju and Shera distract Cardona from the outside. Skyler hits a jumping knee, then rolls up Cardona for the huge upset victory!

The Verdict: 5 out of 10

Match #5: (Main Event) #1 Contender’s Battle Royal – Winner: Brian Myers

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Sami Callihan, Moose, Petey Williams, Sam Beale, Brian Myers, Willie Mack, Rhino, Deaner, Rich Swann, Fallah Bahh, Ace Austin, Suicide, W. Morrissey, No Way, Madman Fulton, Eddie Edwards, Johnny Swinger, Hernandez, Chris Sabin and Trey Miguel are in the ring. The winner of this Battle Royal will challenge either Kenny Omega or Christian Cage for the IMPACT World Title on August 20th at Emergence! Morrissey racks up three eliminations in the opening moments, tossing out Suicide, Swinger and Hernandez. Everyone turns their attention to Morrissey as they send him over the top rope for the elimination. Steve Maclin hooks Petey’s leg from the outside, allowing Beale to capitalize and eliminate him! The problems between Rich Swann, Willie Mack and Violent By Design are far from over as they’re the next four eliminated from the match. Fulton throws No Way over the top but Fallah gets payback on behalf of his partner, eliminating Fulton just moments later. Moose eliminates Fallah. Trey attempts a springboard but Myers pushes Beale into him, sending Trey crashing to the floor. Moose catches Eddie off-guard, using his brute force to push him over the top. Myers eliminates his ally, Sam Beale. Callihan clotheslines Ace from atop Fulton’s shoulders, eliminating him from the Battle Royal. Moose hits Callihan with a big boot off the apron for the elimination. Sabin has a headlock on Moose but Myers eliminates them both from behind to win!

The Verdict: 6 out of 10

Final Verdict: 6/10

Well, this was pretty open and shut. I had 6s all over the place and that seems about right as an overall score. First off, John Skyler beat Matt Cardona. I wasn’t expecting that. Madison Rayne returned to attack Taylor Wilde and side with Tenille Dashwood. I thought Madison retired? She went full Terry Funk! That egg-sucking dog! Tasha Steelz explained that she betrayed Kiera Hogan because of how Hogan became a loser. Speaking of Hogan, she was kidnapped by Su Yung and a demonized Kimber Lee, who has her own Kabuki make-up get-up. Hey! I didn’t put the white chick in Asian clothes! I’m not the racist! Also, Fallah Bahh enlisted Tasha Steelz and Savannah Evans to help him take out Rosemary and Havok. Christian Cage says he will win the Impact World Title on AEW Rampage and be on next week’s Impact as the champion. As far as the wrestling itself went, everything was very solid this time out. Average was the mantra of the card and, while that isn’t very exciting, it was quite consistent. I was surprised to see Skyler win. I am glad he did though. New blood needs to pump through the veins to keep the heart moving. Daivari might have wrestled his last Impact match here and, if he did, he went out with a very nice performance. Alexander keeps becoming a better and better ace for Impact. You can always count on his matches to deliver, like this one did, and you’re never unsure of what the match itself will offer. FinJuice continued their streak of exuberant wrestling. Jay White was the ring general here. It’s so nice having White here. His wrestling just feels so simple and easy. Getting on to the main event, it was standard work for a battle royal, but at least it was a battle royal that kept the action moving along and even teased a few different winners near the end. Myers getting the win in lame yet shocking fashion is a let-down, but it also made him look like a cunning warrior, so perhaps this will work. Will Myers get Kenny Omega or Christian Cage? Either match sounds good to me. Maybe that’s Impact for the week? I don’t know what I’m getting, but it will probably be decent all the same. Well, I think that about does it. We had a solid show where what was promised…Doc Gallows fights Joe Doering next week. Yeah mama! Who make a da bread? I’ll see you next time.

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