19th Jul2021

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (July 15th 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have the final build toward Slammiversary, which looks pretty good on paper. Now, it remains to be seen if this leads to a great event or not, but since Slammiversary tends to be a hit, we can at least say that the odds look good. Charlie Brown: Lucy won’t let me kick the football. Me: What?! Lucy! Come here! Lucy: What do you want booger-breath?! Me: Powerbomb! Lucy: Ahhhh!!!!!! CB: What the f–k?! Me: Hey! You’re just a cartoon. CB: What?! Me: Impact Wrestling starts now.

Match #1: Jordynne Grace/Rachel Ellering b. Tenille Dashwood/Kaleb With A K

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com

Grace dominates Kaleb in the opening moments of the match. Ellering continues the attack on Dashwood, forcing her and Kaleb to retreat to the outside. Back in the ring, Grace and Ellering hit stereo spinebusters. Kaleb distracts Ellering from the apron, allowing Dashwood to gain control by driving her head-first into the canvas. Kaleb crashes and burns in the corner, giving Ellering the opportunity to create separation. Grace hits Kaleb with a sit-down powerbomb, followed by a Vader Bomb! Kaleb counters, causing a clash of heads between Grace and Ellering. Dashwood hits Ellering with the Spotlight Kick but immediately gets caught with a thunderous spinebuster from Grace! Moments later, Grace and Ellering put Kaleb away with a double swinging slam and exact their revenge for last week’s attack on Jazz!

The Verdict: 4 out of 10 – Michael Jordan: This s–t was dull. The guy acted more like a chick than the women. Why was the guy acting like a femme twink the whole time? That ain’t kosher baby. MJ don’t like it when wrestlers ham it up. Wrestling too weird these days. Plus, this match kinda slow. I bored as hell. Me: F–k off! This is my review you Hollywood mother-f–ker! Take that ball and dribble it up your ass! MJ: This match decent at best. Me: Uhhhhh…yeah. Go away.

Match #2: Havok b. Tasha Steelz

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com

Havok puts her strength on display as she overpowers Tasha in the early going. Tasha turns the tide with a running neckbreaker, followed by a series of kicks to the back of the head. Havok counters a springboard attempt into a belly-to-belly suplex. This time it’s Tasha who counters a Tombstone Piledriver into a bicycle kick but it’s not enough to take Havok off her feet! Havok catches Tasha in mid-air, then successfully hits the Tombstone to win the match and build momentum towards the Knockouts Tag Team Title match at Slammiversary!

The Verdict: 5 out of 10 – It was a decent match that saw Havok cream Steelz for a little while, all as Steelz fought against the onslaught of Havok herself. It was mostly just Havok smashing and Steelz surviving. Okay. Next match.

Match #3: Steve Maclin b. Kal Herro

Maclin berates his opponent for his choice of ring attire as he delivers yet another brutal beatdown. Maclin ties up Herro in the Tree of Woe, then charges with a running spear. Herro shows signs of life as he hits an explosive crossbody. Maclin isn’t fazed and comes right back with a huge clothesline! Maclin connects with his signature sitdown slam to score the dominant victory.

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com

The Verdict: 2 out of 10 – It was just a damn squash.

Match #4: Josh Alexander/Petey Williams/Trey Miguel/Chris Bey b. Ace Austin/Rohit Raju/Madman Fulton/Shera

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com

Ace, Fulton, Rohit and Shera wear Trey down as they cut off the ring and prevent him from making the tag. After several minutes, Trey goes for broke with an explosive double foot stomp to Ace, followed by a jumping Enzuigiri to Fulton! Bey tags into the match and takes out both Ace and Rohit with a DDT Flatliner! Fulton hits Bey with an earth-shattering powerslam. Alexander hits a German suplex on Fulton. Rohit sends the champ for a ride with a jumping neckbreaker. Petey spikes Rohit with the Canadian Destroyer. Ace goes for The Fold but Trey cuts him off! The action is fast and furious as Shera hits a chokeslam backbreaker on Trey. Bey rolls up Shera out of nowhere to score the pinfall victory!

The Verdict: 6 out of 10 – It’s a whole lotta moves, but at least them moves was good! The faces did the heavy-lifting and the heels took the beating. You get your spots from all involved and that’s about all that this was here for.

Match #5: Moose b. Hernandez

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com

Hernandez charges at Moose with a running shoulder tackle. The fight spills to the outside where Hernandez sends him crashing into the steel guardrail. Moments later, Moose quickly turns the tide with a powerful Lights Out spear. Moose sends a message to his Slammiversary opponent, Chris Sabin, as he picks up the quick victory.

The Verdict: 3 out of 10 – It was a freakin’ squash. I can’t take this s–t no more!

Match #6: (Main Event) Joe Doering b. Doc Gallows, Fallah Bahh and Willie Mack – Fatal 4 Way Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com

We get a preview of things to come in the huge four-way match for the IMPACT World Tag Team Titles at Slammiversary – this is the Battle of the Hosses! Willie and Fallah are at a stalemate as they both counter each other’s Samoan Drop attempts. Doering assaults Willie outside the ring as Fallah collides with Gallows in the corner. Gallows hits Willie with a big boot for two. Doering sends Gallows into the steel ring post, then knocks him to the floor with a right hand. Fallah catches Willie with a mid-air Samoan Drop! Doering wipes out Fallah with a running crossbody, followed by a short-arm clothesline for three.

The Verdict: 5 out of 10 – This was pretty dull. You get some extra brawling here, mostly because you have four big guys and only one great one among them (Willie Mack). This was a pretty disappointing main event.

Major News:

  1. Tenille Dashwood attacked Matt Cardona, which inspired the booking of Brian Myers and Tenille against Matt and a mystery partner.

Final Verdict: 4/10

This was a weak show that didn’t sell Slammiversary all that well. This was so anemic. Boy was this just bland.

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