31st May2021

Friday Night Smackdown – May 28th 2021: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s WWE Friday Night SmackDown review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have to be quiet, or the monsters will get us. Bob: WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Me: Shut up asshole! Bob: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?! Me: Shut up! Bob: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?! Me: Shut…up! Bob: Mustard’s comin’? Me: No! Monsters! They hate sound! We are in a quiet place! Bob: Mobsters wanna go out on dates? Me: Monsters are going to kill us! Bob: Salmon salad sandwiches? Me: SHUT THE F–K UUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!! Oh s–t. They’re here. Charles Nelson Reilly: You’re too loud! Harumphf! Truman Capote: You called us monsters. That’s rude you prude. Rip Taylor: You hunk of s–t! LADEDEDEDEDEDAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! Me: Okay. I’m just gonna stop this whole thing. I apologize if I insulted anyone. TC: That’s all good and well, but I wanna get back to making fun of Harry Carey. Harrey Carey: Hey! F–k you! RT: Not even if you paid me! Oh God! Me: Huh. I guess anyone can be a jack-ass. Okay. Let’s get going.

Match #1: Usos def. Street Profits

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After returning to SmackDown and reuniting with his brother, the eager Jimmy Uso seized the opportunity to team with “Main Event” Jey Uso for the first time in over a year in a matchup against former SmackDown Tag Team Champions The Street Profits. A pre-match war of words served as a prelude to the intense action to come. Jey pulled Jimmy out of the line of fire and caused Montez Ford to miss his Splash from the Heavens! Moment later, Jimmy hit the earth-shattering Superkick for the win. The victory certainly put The Usos one step closer to a future SmackDown Tag Team Title Match.

The Verdict: 8 out of 10 – This had a lot of juice in the tank. This sucker got a lot of miles in just a bit of time comparatively in regard to longer matches of similar quality. Both teams worked hard to sell this match as a big deal. Hard-hitting and pulse-pounding, this match was the best bout either team has been apart of in some time. I could go for another one of these between these two.

Match #2: Tamina/Natalya def. Riott Squad

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Newly crowned WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions Natalya & Tamina overcame The Riott Squad. As The Queen of Harts tangled with Liv Morgan outside the ring, Tamina took out Ruby Riott with a wicked headbutt and finished her with the Splash off the top rope.

The Verdict: 5 out of 10 – This was standard to the max! Tubular! Bogus! Wang! Wang: Si? Me: Yo quiero Taco Bell, bro! Que vas hacer, hermano?! Wang: I Chinese! No speaky Spanish! Me: Bro! Why are you like talking like that? Wang: I want some f–kin’ tater tots! Me: Bro! Vince Russo: Bro! Bradshaw was such an asshole. Bro. Me: Ruby Riott was cool here. There’s some wrestling in here some where. Okay. Next match.

Match #3: Bianca Belair def. Carmella

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After SmackDown Women’s Champion Bianca Belair overcame “The Untouchable” Carmella with the K.O.D., Bayley stood atop the SmackDown announce table and laughed at the The EST of WWE.

The Verdict: 4 out of 10 – While lively, this match lacked the thrust to make the punch a knockout shot. Belair has the presence of a star, but not the skill of one…yet. Carmella is solid at this point, but that’s it. As a match, this could’ve been more, but at least it wasn’t less.

Match #4: Kevin Owens def. Apollo Crews via DQ

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Seconds after Kevin Owens hit the Stunner on Intercontinental Champion Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez blasted KO with the devastating Nigerian Nail to result in a disqualification.

The Verdict: 5 out of 10 – KO and Crews were trying to have a good match, but time and a DQ finish put an end to that. There were moves and stunts and bumps and all that jazz, but… Bob Fosse: Don’t piss me off, f–ker. Me: Ummmmm… BF: I will f–k you up! Me: Okay. To that I say…what in the world could that be? BF: What? Where? Ow! My balls! Me: In the balls! BF: All that ballllllllls!!!!!! Me: Crews worked hard here, but couldn’t do much with this match this time out. KO sold like crazy here and made his part work well. Not bad for a disappointing bout.

Match #5: Shinsuke Nakamura def. Chad Gable

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After hype man Rick Boogs helped Shinsuke Nakamura to a victory over King Corbin last week, The King of Strong Style defeated The Alpha Academy’s Chad Gable with a vicious Kinshasa.

The Verdict: 5 out of 10 – Way too short for wrestlers that are so talented. What an enticing waste of these two.

Match #6: (Main Event) Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio def. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode -SmackDown Tag Team Titles Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After Rey Mysterio suffered a mysterious attack backstage, Dominik took heroic action and opted to face off against Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode in a SmackDown Tag Team Championship Handicap Match. Just as it looked as if Dominik may finally succumb to his opponents, Rey Mysterio’s music suddenly blared through the ThunderDome. The quick-thinking Dominik used the distraction to his advantage and pinned Robert Roode’s shoulders to the mat. In the aftermath, The Usos came toe-to-toe with the titleholders as they prepare to square off next week.

The Verdict: 6 out of 10 – This was decent. Dominik handled most of this and it worked in a functional sense. That’s really all there is to say. It was a match. It was emotional when Rey came in. There you go.

Final Verdict: 6/10

The opener stole the show. If you only watch the opener, then I wouldn’t blame you. The Usos take on The Mysterios for tag straps next week. Works for me. I’ll see you next time.

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