26th May2021

‘WWE NXT’ Review (May 25th 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s NXT review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and Karrion Kross defends the NXT Title against Finn Balor. Who will win this massive main event? I…what the… Giant Chicken: BAGAAAAAAA!!!!!!! John Madden: Okay. Here’s what’s going on. We’ve got the fat bald guy and the big chicken from Family Guy brawling because fat-ass couldn’t think of anything to write. Oh! Socked him in the balls! Just socked him! They’re gonna fight all over the place just so the Michelin Man can fill a paragraph. BAGOYOGOYOBLAHK! I can’t believe they print this crap! While these assholes duke it out, why don’t ol’ Papa John Madden enjoy the popcorn from the Pop-It-Fresh Popcorn Popper as a treat? Put popcorn in the popcorn popper…AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! God damn it! That mother-f–ker burnt my mother-f–ckin’ face! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I’m gonna smash this mother-f–ker like…AHHHHH!!!!!!! They’re in this mother-f–ckin room! Security! Get these mother-f–kers out of he… Giant Chicken: BAGAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!! Me: Hey! Want some…popcorn?! GC: BAGAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!! Me: Smash…you…good! That’s one way to fry a chicken. JM: Hey! You smashed my Pop-It-Fresh Popcorn Popper! I oughta kick your fat ass, fat-ass! Me: Okay. Before you do…explain football. JM: Oh s–t! How dare you ask a football player to explain football! I hate football! I like hopscotch and four square! Me: You look like a beached whale! JM: Hey! That’s true! Mother-f–ker! Me: NXT starts now! JM: I’ll just open this bag of peanuts and…AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Mother-f–ker got in my mother-f–ckin eye!

[Author’s Note: Ted Dibiase was accused of embezzling money from a religious institution. If this accusation prevents you from enjoying Mr. Dibiase, then viewer discretion should be advised].

Match #1: Shotzi Blackheart/Ember Moon def. Dakota Kai/Raquel Gonzalez – NXT Women’s Tag Title Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Two teams with their eyes on the NXT Women’s Tag Team Titles collided in this fast-paced encounter. Ember Moon busted out a spectacular counter of Raquel Gonzalez’s Chingona Bomb, hitting Big Mami Cool with a modified Eclipse. Moments later, Shotzi Blackheart & Moon premiered a new, devastating double-team face buster to Dakota Kai to pick up the win. Gonzalez & Kai clearly won the war after the match, however, as the NXT Women’s Champion brutalized Blackheart on the outside as Kai restrained Moon, forcing her to watch.

The Verdict: 6 out of 10 – I was disappointed in this, despite it being a fun match. This felt like it never got the engine revved, but since we had the radio on, the wait in the driveway was still a good time in its own way. The champs were very energetic. They were not the issue. The challengers were the problem, if you can call it that. Gonzalez lacked the fire here that a good challenger needs, which is why Kai looked so meager here. I liked how Moon always had a trick up her sleeve. As a matter of fact, Moon was the best part of this prize fight opener. It’s a shame that this match was so lackluster, but at least it was solid to the bone.

Match #2: Pete Dunne def. Bobby Fish

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Bobby Fish was impressive in his first in-ring action in nearly six months, making his return from a torn triceps suffered back at NXT TakeOver: WarGames. Pete Dunne made sure to target the surgically repaired arm with his signature joint manipulation before dropping Fish with the Bitter End. Oney Lorcan wasn’t satisfied, continuing the onslaught afterward on Fish’s triceps, vowing to put him back on the shelf.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – Hey there. Now this is what I like. Pete and Bobby worked hard to clobber each other. Bobby was on punching bag duty, but he had around 12 minutes to show off how good he is at that job. There were some moments where the match was a bit rushed, but since we had a longer match to watch, it wasn’t so offensive. If you like hard-hitting slug-fests with enough grappling to grip you, then why don’t you shake an ass hair on over to this bad mamajama?

Match #3: Mercedes Martinez def. Zayda Ramier

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Looking to bounce back after coming up short against Raquel Gonzalez earlier this month, Mercedes Martinez did exactly that with a dominant win over Zayda Ramier, putting her away with an Air Raid Crash. Martinez’s night wasn’t quite over, though, as Tian Sha’s Mei Ying appeared on the video board afterward, and smoke filled the Capitol Wrestling Center before the lights went out. When they returned, an ominous black marking appeared on Martinez’s hand, leaving her confused to say the least.

The Verdict: 5 out of 10 – A squash…but it was a good squash.

Match #4: Frankie Monet def. Cora Jade

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Franky Monet dominated in her highly anticipated in-ring debut, showing off a high dose of nastiness to complement her glitz and glamour. She battered Cora Jade with a barrage of knees and stymied a brief rally with a huge Spear before dropping Jade with her own version of the Glam Slam.

The Verdict: 4 out of 10 – Monet won a squash. Monet is a great painter. Monet paints so good that he gets the Monet!

Match #5: (Main Event) Karrion Kross def. Finn Balor – NXT Championship Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Karrion Kross and Finn Balor treated the NXT Universe to an epic rematch for the NXT Championship, and both Superstars pulled out all the stops for the black-and-gold brand’s top prize. The match was arguably even more physical than their previous encounter, with Kross launching Bálor into the ringside plexiglass, and The Prince answering moments later with a Tope con Hilo, though Kross popped up shortly after to launch the challenger onto the announce table. With the action back in the ring, Bálor dodged Kross’ dreaded elbow strike and even locked in a triangle on the undefeated champion, but Kross powered out to drop Bálor with a powerbomb. Kross’ second attempt at the elbow strike found the mark, leading to ruthless stomping on Bálor. Kross put away the challenger with the Kross Jacket to retain the title in a hard-fought victory.

The Verdict: 8 out of 10 – This really got going in the last half. Baloo liked it Babaloo! You got the submissions, you got the collisions and you got the intensity that only a main event prize fight can bring. Kross showed more here than he has in any match thus far. Finn took a beating like no other to sell Kross as an ass-kicker and it worked like a charm…of beatings. Dwight Eisenhower once said, “I’ll suck your c–k for a thousand dollars”. Can you not think of anything more poignant and beautiful than that to describe this match? If Kross can give performances like the one he gave here every week, then he may yet prove to be the next great champion. Overall, this was an awesome fight and one worthy of being for the title.

Major News:

  1. Dexter Lumis is heart-broken over not getting to bang Indi Hartwell…or something like that…I guess.
  2. Johnny Gargano, Pete Dunne and Kyle O’Reilly fight next week to determine who challenges Karrion Kross for the NXT Title.
  3. Ted Dibiase may have selected LA Knight to be his apprentice.

Final Verdict: 7/10

The main event dominated the show and it was to great effect. Kross is starting to feel like a real champion. Finn might be done after this. Who knows if Vince will put him back in the main roster. If this was the last, then Finn can say he went out swinging. Wherever he ends up, Finn Balor is one hell of a wrestler. Well, I’ll see you next time.

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