22nd Mar2021

‘WWE NXT: UK’ Review (Mar 18th 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s NXT UK review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we are back in jolly ol England and we are with the Queen of England! Queen of England: F—k you! I’m the Queen! Me: Shut up, b—ch! Queen: F—k you! Me: Eat me! Queen: I don’t eat s—t! I kick ass! I used to drown poor children in a pool of my own piss for my birthday! Me: You b—ch! I wanted to do that! I also wanted to watch a white van run your old ass over! Queen: So did Diana. I fixed her ass good in that tunnel. Brian Johnson: It’s a tunnel fire! Queen: What?! Brian Johnson: When you got a critter in your s—ter, you just start shakin’ your bacon! Queen: Die commie f—k! Me: NXT UK starts now!

Match #1: Nathan Frazer def. Ashton Smith

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Nathan Frazer is off to a strong start in his attempts to reinvent himself. The Superstar formerly known as Ben Carter wowed the NXT UK Universe, sending Ashton Smith careening across the canvas with a picture-perfect headscissors takedown. The larger Smith dazed his opponent for a ring-shaking clothesline, but Frazer sailed across the ring with a Coast-to-Coast and scored the pinfall after drilling Smith with a frog splash.

The Score: 6 out of 10

  • The Good: The former Ben Carter worked hard to make his performance worth watching…which I didn’t do. I’m making this up as I go along. Godzilla kills King Kong by giving him a reach-around…of a claw in the neck. Nathan…that’s my name! F—k you! I hate Nathan Frazer! You don’t steal my name, mother-f—ker! That’s it! The excellent performance Nathan frzaer gave is getting lambasted below!
  • The Bad: Nathan Frazer sucks s—t! Steal my name! F—k you mother-f—ker! I’m Nathan! This match had a hard time being interesting enough for me to not hate, even though I didn’t actually hate it.
  • The Verdict: If you like seeing an athletic bout not do much more than be really athletic, than this is the ri…stole my name! I’m Nathan mother-f—ker!

Match #2: Meiko Satomura def. Dani Luna

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

While Meiko Satomura would undoubtedly like to earn another NXT UK Women’s Championship Match after falling just short against Kay Lee Ray in an instant classic two weeks ago, the savvy ring veteran was wise enough to avoid the mistake of underestimating Dani Luna. After being greeted by a stiff kick to her thigh, Luna shook off the pain and landed a suplex and a clothesline, but Meiko took control with a pinpoint spinning heel kick. Moments later, Satomura connected with a kick to the head and Scorpio Rising for the win, and the competitors shared a handshake and a bow after the bell.

The Score: 6 out of 10

  • The Good: Meiko kicked ass here. Dani worked hard to stand out in the presence of Meiko. Meiko was the name of the raccoon from Pocahontas. Gazounds! There’s plenty of sound, snug as a bug in a rug grappling here to go with the slick strikes and…gadzooks! Leonard Rosenstock: I made the music for Star Trek 4 and Robocop 2! Me: What? LR: The one with the fish! Me: I don’t care. The action was fun.
  • The Bad: This was too damn short to go all the way with the fun.
  • The Verdict: Meiko won and should have, so take that East St. Louis! It’s time to get Homererotic!

Match #3: (Main Event) Jordan Devlin def. Trent Seven – NXT Cruiserweight Title Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

As revealed on WWE’s The Bump, Trent Seven indeed accomplished his goal of cutting weight and reaching the 205-pound plateau for an NXT Cruiserweight Title Match against Jordan Devlin. Despite mocking Seven several weeks ago when Seven declared his intentions to cut enough weight to challenge him for the title, The Irish Ace received all he could handle from the former NXT Tag Team Champion, who quickly brought the fight out of the squared circle and landed several savage strikes before dropping the titleholder with a snapdragon suplex on the ringside floor. Devlin had Seven in dire straits when he ensnared him in the cloverleaf, but after enduring a grueling training regimen to get to 205 pounds, Seven wasn’t going down without a fight, and after letting out a battle cry, Seven got his hand on the bottom rope. Out of nowhere, the challenger tattooed the champion with the Seven Stars Lariat, but Devlin dug deep to kick out at two. Devlin miraculously got his foot on the rope after being turned inside out on a suplex from the top rope and absorbing a burning hammer, and he followed up by sticking his thumb in Seven’s eye. Seven nevertheless kicked out of the ensuing Devlin Side, but The Irish Ace landed a 450 Splash to retain his title.

The Score: 7 out of 10

  • The Good: This was a very thorough match that started off right and kept on the right path. Stephen Hawking: This match sucked. Me: Holy s—t! I thought you were dead? SH: No. I also liked some of the things in the match. Me: Can you just put your compliments here and your complaints in the section below this one? SH: You organized your reviews? I never thought a big stupid ape like you could do something so simple as organize. Good job. Me: Why thank yo…hey! SH: I thought the wrestling itself was smart and clever, like my theory of hot chicks look hot when they are naked and touching my crotch. Me: I thought it was numb from the crippling? SH: …God damn it.
  • The Bad: Me: This was a slower match than I thought it would be, but not dull. SH: Devlin’s face looks like a perv who got caught smoking crack while staring at the crack in a woman’s bosom. Lucky bastard. Me: I thought this was a bit uninspired for whatever reason. SH: It’s because you are a dip-s—t. Me: At least I can talk without having a nose trimmer plugged into my throat. SH: …God damn it. Me: Devlin and Seven were a bit lame at times…not really. This match was just slower than it should have been.
  • The Verdict: SH: I wish I could pee. Me: Me too. SH: I didn’t even touch that lady! It was the computer monitor! Me: This match got a lot of time and was excellent overall, but it was lacking some zest.

Final Verdict: 6/10

This was a fun show that peaked with the main event, but didn’t do much before it got there. Still, the standard of this show started above average and reached a rung above that before all was said and done.

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