10th Mar2021

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (Mar 9th 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have the finale before Sacrifice, which is as big of a deal as anything to happen Impact in recent months. I…what the… Santorico Dastmanicalca: I have come…to demand! Me: Ummmmmm… SD: I want…some-thing! Me: Okay. SD: I want…a free download of Brett Buchanan’s free e-book “Genesis Of TNA”! Me: I’m sorry. Excuse me? SD: The book! I want to download…a copy! Me: Actually, so would I. I just tried to find one earlier online, but I couldn’t find it. SD: This is my curse…as well! You shall use your Impact review to demand that your readers find a link to the book and…send it! Me: Okay. Hey folks. Do you guys know if there are any links to the “Genesis Of TNA” e-book? I had tried Barbaric Wrestling’s website and the TNA dot com site that often comes up and nothing had worked. Are there any legal ways to get a copy of the book? SD: Tell them that you…shall slap them! Me: Please post any links of the book in the comments section below if you are willing to. Thank you very much. SD: Now…we f—k! Me: Oh no…I don’t… SD: I have balls…and boobs! Me: Impact starts now!

Before The Impact

Match #1: (Main Event) TJP def. Madman Fulton

The Score: 6 out of 10

  • The Good: TJP and Madman worked well together despite the difference in skill levels. TJP slowed down enough to give Madman a chance to make his mark at his own pace.
  • The Bad: Madman wasn’t quite able to add enough to the match to make it more than just TJP’s master-class in how to work with a big-man.
  • The Verdict: Twern’t nuthin’ but an alright fight tonight.

Impact Wrestling

Match #1: Jazz w/ Jordynne Grace def Tasha Steelz w/ Kiera Hogan

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Fire ‘N Flava are set to defend the Knockouts Tag Team Titles against Jazz and Jordynne Grace at Sacrifice! Who will gain momentum heading into this Saturday’s title clash? Jazz overpowers Tasha in the early going. Tasha begins to build momentum with a flurry of offense in the corner, culminating with a jumping neckbreaker. Jazz pummels her opponent with a series of strikes, followed by a Samoan Drop for two. Jazz locks in the STF, forcing Tasha to submit!

The Score: 5 out of 10

  • The Good: Jazz really directed traffic here. Tasha didn’t blow the wad at all. Jazz looked like a real pro when she dominated Tasha. This match was surprisingly reserved and controlled.
  • The Bad: Tasha didn’t offer much to the bout and apart from Jazz bending Tasha like a bendy…bendable…f—ker.
  • The Verdict: It was Jazz’s match to enjoy and it was just that.

Match #2: James Storm & Chris Sabin def Rohit Raju & Shera

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Following his victory over Rohit Raju on BTI last week, James Storm was laid out by Mahabali Shera which has led to this tag team collision. Storm squares off with Sabin as both men exchange stiff strikes. Shera gains the upper-hand with a big boot but Storm quickly comes back with a bulldog! Sabin fights out of a two-on-one assault before hitting Rohit with an assisted tornado DDT. There’s a disagreement between Rohit and Shera. Moments later, Sabin dropkicks Shera into the “Desi Hitman”! Storm takes out Rohit with the Lungblower, followed by Cradle Shock from Sabin to win!

The Score: 5 out of 10

  • The Good: Sabin and Storm made for a great team that carried Raju and Shera through the parts where the match needed to get a little more exciting. Sabin brought that X-Division flair to the bought, along with his tremendous versatility. Storm had that gruff offense that you can always believe on display. Raju was very much the whipping boy of the fight and was quite effective in the role. Shera…he still has nipples.
  • The Bad: Shera still isn’t a strong wrestler. Raju didn’t do all that much this time. The match never quite got going beyond Sabin/Storm holding-up their end of the deal.
  • The Verdict: Come for Sabin and Storm and shut up.

Match #3: Trey Miguel def Sam Beale

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Sami Callihan got in the ear of one of Trey Miguel’s students and now, Sam Beale wants a piece of Trey! Callihan watches on from the top of the stage. Trey makes quick work of his opponent, forcing him to tap out in seconds.

The Score: 1 out of 10

  • The Good: Nobody died.
  • The Bad: They didn’t do nothing!
  • The Verdict: Nobody died…because they didn’t do nothing!

Match #4: Chris Bey def Ace Austin w/ Madman Fulton

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Chris Bey claims that Ace Austin wouldn’t have pinned him last week if it weren’t for Madman Fulton’s involvement. Will Austin prove him wrong just days before he challenges TJP for the X-Division Title at Sacrifice? Austin sits Fulton down at ringside and tells him not to get involved. Bey launches himself over the top rope, crashing into Austin on the floor! Austin one-ups him with a dive of his own, followed by a springboard kick for two. Bey pays homage to Amazing Red by hitting Code Red for another near fall. The action is fast and furious as both men topple all the way from the top rope to the floor. Bey almost puts Austin away with the Vertebreaker but he somehow kicks out at two! Austin avoids the Art of Finesse and rolls to the outside. Fulton confronts Bey, allowing Austin to lay in a cheap shot. X-Division Champion TJP appears on the stage and Fulton chases him to the back! Bey hits the Art of Finesse off the distraction to score the victory!

The Score: 8 out of 10

  • The Good: Whew boy! This was damn good, damn great and damn DAYUM! I loved this whole thing. Watching these guys wrestle was like looking at a waterfall reflecting gloriously in a mirror. Chris and Ace were so evenly matched that I splooged myself. It was hard-hitting, white-knuckle wrestling action that never let-up and never stopped thrilling.
  • The Bad: Nothing was really bad.
  • The Verdict: While not the perfect match or any of that s—t, this was still a dynamite (HA!) match that could not be topped.

Match #5: (Main Event) ODB def Susan

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

As ODB prepares to challenge Deonna Purrazzo for the Knockouts Title this Saturday at Sacrifice, she first turns her attention to Susan tonight on IMPACT! ODB chops Susan in the corner, followed by the Bronco Buster. ODB continues to lay in the offense with the Dirty Dozen! Susan pulls ODB down by her hair before emptying her flask. This only angers ODB who quickly puts Susan away with a modified Samoan Drop!

The Score: 2 out of 10

  • The Good: I saw Susan’s butt. ODB knocked Susan out like her husband Rich d…right. I hope she’s okay.
  • The Bad: Susan looked like a geek the whole time. The wrestling was really lame.
  • The Verdict: ODB has huge boobs and that helps her clothesline people while still maintaining six feet of distance.

Major News:

  1. Rich Swann and Moose will unify the Impact and TNA World Titles at Sacrifice.
  2. The Unified TNA/Impact World Champion will fight the AEW World Champion at Rebellion in a Winner Takes All Title fight.

Final Verdict: 5/10

This was a one match show. Well, that did work for WrestleMania 12. Still, this was a one match show. The finale of the card was the announcements from the Major News section and it was a very exciting ending, but it wasn’t a match. At least Sacrifice was built to properly…kinda. I mean…the vignettes were decent. Okay, the build to Sacrifice was lazy at best. Come see Ace Austin and Chris Bey kick some ass. I’ll see you next time.

Off

Comments are closed.