25th Jan2021

Friday Night Smackdown – Jan 22nd 2021: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Friday Night Smackdown review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have a bunch of goofy f—— s—. Can you believe how raydacoolass dem damn pigeons been bein’? I ain’t gonna take no damn s— from no damn pigeons! I…oh s—! Dem damn pigeons…dayze here! Y’all damn fuggin pigeons ain’t gonna fugg up dis damn ravioo! WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

Match #1: Asuka & Charlotte Flair def. The Riott Squad

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions rolled into the blue brand looking for a battle, and The Riott Squad was happy to oblige. Billie Kay did her best to try and prove her worth in The Riott Squad’s corner, and she provided an unintentional assist to set up Liv Morgan for a shattering kick to Charlotte Flair. When Billie attempted to make an impact once more, she unintentionally diverted the ref away as Ruby Riott had Asuka rolled up for a pin. The mistake proved costly, as The Queen tagged back in and landed a Natural Selection on Riott to secure the win.

My Opinion: 5 out of 10

Match #2: Cesaro def. Dolph Ziggler

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Cesaro began the night stating his case as to why he’s the ultimate Royal Rumble competitor and ended with a strong closing argument. The match began in a frantic pace until The Swiss Cyborg slowed the pace with an impressive swing of The Showoff. A Zig Zag nearly gave Ziggler the victory, but Cesaro kicked out, and a Neutralizer gave him back-to-back wins over former World Champions on the blue brand.

My Opinion: 6 out of 10

Match #3: Sasha Banks def. Reginald

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Reginald tried to start off on the right foot by presenting Sasha Banks with a rose, but The Boss was more focused on being a thorn in Carmella’s grand plan. Despite the amazing acrobatics from the sommelier, the SmackDown Women’s Champion capitalized once she got her hands on Reginald and forced a tapout with a Bank Statement.

My Opinion: 3 out of 10

Match #4: Big E vs. Apollo Crews ends in no-contest – Intercontinental Championship Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Apollo Crews set out to reverse his fortunes in an Intercontinental Championship rematch against Big E. The challenger showed off his elite athleticism early, but The Powerhouse of Positivity appeared ready to match him punch for punch. As both competitors battled in the ring, the disgruntled Sami Zayn crashed the match with a pair of Helluva Kicks for his two rivals.

My Opinion: 3 out of 10

Match #5: (Main Event) King Corbin def. Dominik Mysterio

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After costing his father a victory last week, Dominik Mysterio was out for payback against King Corbin. The step up in weight class proved to be a tall task for the blue brand neophyte, as Corbin imposed his will with multiple body shots. A vicious right hand followed by an End of Days from Corbin set up a royal victory.

My Opinion: 4 out of 10

Final Verdict: 4/10

As a wrestling show, this was rather disappointing. Fortunately…f—— pigeons…s—— on me! Get off of me you son of a bitch bastards! I gotta tell these people about how Bayley and Bianca Belair brought back the NXT obstacle course and had Bianca lift Otis and get his mando chub in her mouth in the process. Piss off pigeons! Better not peck my pecker! Start pecking on me…get f—– up! I ain’t doin’ this s—! Pigeons: Coo! Me: Coo my ass! Also, Adam Pearce and Paul Heyman were supposed to wrestle, but Paul pulled a “Card Subject To Change” on Adam Pearce’s ass and sent in Roman Reigns in his stead. Instead of Reigns and Pearce fighting, Kevin Owens, who cut a very personal promo earlier in the night on Roman Reigns, came out and brawled with Reigns to bring the show to a fantastic climax. Will you get off of me you worthless f—s?! Why don’t you go bother somebody else, damn it? You f—– dip-stick sonsabitches! Pigeons: Coo! Me: Blow me, damn it! Don’t actually do it, you bastards! As for these matches, the good one was Cesaro and Dolph Ziggler. Apparently, they’re both heel, but who gives a s—? Cesaro and Dolph had a match that went too short, but managed to pack in a lot of smart, brisk wrestling that was never lacking in action. The rest of the matches had some nice moves and…wait…Reginald. I gotta talk about Reginald. The match he had with Sasha Banks was no masterpiece, but it did feature Reginald’s absolutely incredible gymnastic abilities. Ass for cash, you pigeon mother-f—–s! Reginald has a magnificent ability to jump a distance that is so great, that it made my balls shoot up my ass…for cash! I was gonna say something a little better, but these damn pigeons won’t go the f— away! Pigeons: Coo! Me: Shut the f— up! Don’t flap near me, you filthy bitches! I don’t do that s—! I ain’t in the middle-school no more! This whole show was too focused on going some-where that it forgot to be where it was at! You’ve got wrestlers…put on some damn matches! Cesaro and Dolph was a good start with the wrestling, but why not have Chad Gable fight Sami Zayn? Big E and Apollo Crews went two minutes and had a DQ finish thanks to Sami. What the f— is wrong with these bookers? I done told you damn pigeons! Cut the s—! Pigeons: Coo! Me: F— coo! I’ve had it with this s—! Wanna s— on me? How ‘bout I s— on you?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Oh no! Put down that gun, pigeons! No! Don’t shoot that gun, pigeons! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (gun fires) HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! You missed me bitch! Say hello to Mr. Bat! Pigeons: Coo! Coo! Coo! Coo! Me: ‘Bout to knock a home-run up your dumb asses! Okay people, I’ve got s— to do. SmackDown was not enough to be much more than a commercial for Royal Rumble, but at least it was an enticing commercial at times. I’ll see you next week for the big go-home show. Alright you pigeon sonsabitches! Who wants to get smashed into next f—kin’ week?!


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