23rd Sep2020

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (Sept 22nd 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have…THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! Stupid movie! Stupid! Neil LaBute is Neil LaStupid! LaStupid! Impact Wrestling starts…THE BEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! Stupid movie! Stupid! LaStupid! LaStupid!

Match #1: Trey Miguel def TJP & Chris Bey – Winner Faces Rohit Raju for X-Division Title

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

The winner of this three-way match will immediately challenge Rohit Raju for the X-Division Championship. Bey takes out both of his opponents with unique double team offense. The two-for-one’s continue as TJP locks in an innovative double submission. TJP connects with a springboard forearm to Bey, followed by the Three Amigos. Trey hits TJP with a tilt-a-whirl head scissors. Bey catches Trey with a stunning mid-air cutter. TJP locks in the ankle lock on Bey. Meanwhile, The Fresh Prince of Mid-Air soars off the top with double knees to TJP for the win.

My Opinion: 3.2 out of 5 – There are some very nice dives and spots here, but I’d rather see some wrestling in my wrestling match. Now, this is X-Division wrestling, so you can expect the fighters to get up from moves that would normally be sold like it was death itself. I wouldn’t suck a butt to watch this fast-paced, snap-a-second stunt-show a second time, but it was a good viewing while it lasted.

Match #2: Rohit Raju def Trey Miguel – X-Division Championship Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Rohit charges the ring to immediately start his X-Division Title defense. Out of nowhere, Rohit rolls up Trey with a hold of the tights to retain the gold in quick fashion.

My Opinion: 0 out of 5 – It was a roll-up. Come on! It wasn’t even a Fruit-Roll-Up!

Match #3: Susie w/ Kylie Rae def Kimber Lee w/ Knockouts Champion Deonna Purrazzo

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Will we see more signs of Su Yung tonight? Lee hits a strong backbreaker in the early stages of the match. Lee dropkicks Susie through the ropes to the floor. Lee distracts the referee, allowing Deonna to attack Susie on the outside. Susie attempts the Aracnarana but Lee counters into a Boston Crab. We continue to see offense reminiscent of Su Yung. Lee hits a sit-down powerbomb for two. Deonna inadvertently strikes Lee on the top rope. Susie capitalizes with Su Yung’s finisher, the Panic Switch, to win.

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – This was decent, but kinda cumbersome if I’m “Being John Malkovich”. Lee and Susie had some interesting back-and-forth that was of the smack-around variety…like my last marriage to Commando Hank. BASTARRRRRRRD!!!!! Nothing in here was bad, but if lackluster was something to aspire to, then this was the gold medal prize winner. This was good overall, but I was a bit let-down by how slow it was…like my mind.

Match #4: Rob Van Dam w/ Katie Forbes def Sami Callihan – If RVD Wins, Katie Forbes Gets 5 Minutes with Sami Callihan

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Callihan whips RVD into the steel guardrail. Katie hooks the leg of Callihan, allowing RVD to gain control by driving him off the apron into the steel. RVD innovates as he connects with Rolling Thunder on the floor. RVD distracts the referee as Katie hits Callihan with a running kick. RVD connects with a springboard kick to continue the assault. Callihan begins to fight back but RVD shuts him down with a rake to the eyes. Callihan hits a big DDT for the near fall. Katie sprays hairspray into the eyes of Callihan. RVD gets him in a pinning predicament to score the victory.

My Opinion: 3.3 out of 5 – RVD gave a strong performance here that was still slower than in his prime years, but it was of excellent quality. There’s some good mat work and brawling here to go with RVD’s pogo-stick-from-Hell routine. Sami was his usual Paula Poundstonish self here, complete with the gruff, nasally voice that has given children the runs for years. Katie Forbes assed her way all around the ring, which is also how Marlon Brando used to travel in the 90s. When this was focused on wrestling, this was good fun.

Match #5: (Main Event) Tenille Dashwood w/ Kaleb def Jordynne Grace

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

As David Penzer introduces Tenille Dashwood, he is interrupted by Kaleb with a K who opts to introduce her himself. This is Tenille’s return to in-ring competition as she gains control in the early going by pulling Jordynne all the way from the apron to floor. Both competitors are jockeying for position when Tenille hits a reverse DDT for two. Tenille fights off the Grace Driver but gets caught with a Michinoku Driver instead. Tenille hits a double stomp in the corner, followed by the Taste of Tenille for another near fall. Kaleb gets on the apron as he pretends to take a photo of Tenille but his true intention is to distract Jordynne while she goes for the Grace Driver. Tenille capitalizes with the Spotlight Kick off the distraction to win.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – I liked this, even if it wasn’t always the most enthralling bout. These two went through the proper motions of a match and had good variety in what kind of action they delivered. Tenille did well in her big return, although she still needs to be more exciting when she wrestles. Tenille is very mechanical, which I like, but doesn’t seem to get everybody’s attention like it should. Jordynne is more dynamic in her wrestling abilities and makes for an easy opponent for someone like Tenille. I think this served as a sweet taste of what is to come from these two, but I wanted a bit more than a taste for a main event bout between these two.

News Of The Night:

  1. Heath aired a video where David Hasselhoff, Flavor Flav, Nancy Kerrigan and Chuck Norris all vouched for Heath to get a contract with Impact.
  2. Eddie Edwards fights Eric Young for the World Title at Victory Road.
  3. Eddie Edwards got attacked by a mystery assailant.
  4. EC3 gave out Moose’s phone number to get us to harass him.

Final Verdict: 3.2/5

This was a solid show that had a bit too many promos and not enough action, but it wasn’t terrible either.

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