‘Impact Wrestling: Emergence – Night Two’ Review
Greetings mortal scum! “Smart” Mark D. Mark here to give you a reason to live! As I fill in for Nathan Favel, I look upon Impact Wrestling: Emergence – Night 2 and wonder…why? We have two big matches on hand in the Women’s and World Titles matches, but does anyone care? “…but Mark, Impact is putting on a great product!” Blow me, geek! Impact is a trailer park with one less perv living there than usual. Do you want me to pat them on the back for giving out a lease to one single mother and her latchkey kid? That being said, I, “Smart” Mark D. Mark, will give this show a chance to impress me and my prolific mind. This review has begun!
Match #1: Eddie Edwards def. Rob Van Dam w/ Katie Forbes – IMPACT World Title Match
The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:
Eddie Edwards kicks off Emergence Night 2 with another World Title open challenge and it’s answered by none other than Rob Van Dam. Eddie interrupts a kiss between RVD and Katie Forbes when he takes out Van Dam with a dive on the floor. Katie distracts Eddie, allowing RVD to drive him into the steel ring post. RVD drapes Eddie over the guardrail, then connects with a spinning kick from the apron. Now it’s RVD who distracts the referee as Katie delivers a kick to Eddie on the ropes. Eddie builds momentum with a Tiger Driver for two. RVD attempts the Frog Splash but Eddie avoids it, then hits the Boston Knee Party to win.
My Opinion: 3.3 out of 5 – When Katie Forbes wasn’t shaking her ass all over the place, this match actually had something good going on. RVD did a fine job wrestling a slower yet still exciting version of his classic style. RVD and Eddie matched well together. There’s something to be said for picking your spots, which both men certainly did here, but not at the expense of my entertainment. Next time leave Katie Forbes’s ass out of it because Eddie Edwards and Rob Van Dam were just about to tear the house down.
Match #2: Brian Myers def. Willie Mack
The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:
Willie overwhelms Myers with his agility in the early going. Myers takes him down as they jockey for position in the ropes. Myers almost pulls Willie’s arm out of the socket to gain control. Myers begins to wear down his opponent. Willie turns the tide with a Sky High sit-down powerbomb. Willie builds momentum with a swinging body slam, followed by a leg drop. Myers hits a top rope elbow drop for two. Myers rolls up Willie with a handful of tights to steal the victory.
My Opinion: 3.3 out of 5 – These two guys had a slug-fest that looked like it was fought over a buffalo leg dipped in glitter. Myers winning here was like having Muhammed Ali lose to a ballet dancer. Mack is the star here, sadly not Myers. I hate seeing wrestlers just do moves to get a pop from the losers, especially when they’re not even there. I’ll give these two guys some credit though: they didn’t suck.
Match #3: (Main Event) Deonna Purrazzo def. Jordynne Grace – 30 Minute Ironman Match for the Knockouts Title
The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:
Deonna stomps on the hand and shoulder of Grace as she targets those areas in the early going. Deonna hits a series of short-arm clotheslines for two. Deonna is in firm control as she tosses Jordynne to the floor. The score remains 0-0 halfway through the match. Deonna does more damage to the hand as she drives it into the steel steps with her foot. Grace creates separation with a suplex off the second rope. Grace builds momentum with a series of sentons for a near fall. Grace puts Deonna to sleep to score the first fall with mere minutes left in the match.
Deonna Purrazzo 0 – Jordynne Grace 1
When the action restarts, Deonna floats over into a submission of her own but Grace gets to the ropes. Grace charges into the corner but Deonna uses referee Brandon Tolle as a shield. Grace hits the Grace Driver but there’s no referee. Deonna clobbers Grace with the Knockouts Title to tie things up with just over one minute to go.
Deonna Purrazzo 1 – Jordynne Grace 1
Deonna connects with a German suplex, then locks in the Fujiwara Armbar. Jordynne Grace taps out just seconds before the clock expires. Deonna Purrazzo retains the Knockouts Championship by a score of 2-1.
Deonna Purrazzo 2 – Jordynne Grace 1
My Opinion: 4.4 out of 5 – This was thirty minutes of two women delivering a tremendous match. This was a wrestling clinic, from move to move and bell to bell. If you actually know what wrestling moves look like, then you will appreciate seeing two wrestlers actually wrestling, rather than just Will Ospreay-ing all over the place like him with his excuses about getting that woman blackballed. I loved the intensity and the breathless pace this was competed at.
News Of The Night:
- EC3 wants to destroy the TNA World Title, because he’s a whiny wimp who was hurt by being the champion (wah wah wah).
- Wrestle House limped to the barn with more lame wrestling and a match being booked between Rosemary and Taya Valkyrie for every-thing and John E Bravo too (who had declared his love for Rosemary a moment prior).
- Rohit Raju claimed he will be an inclusive champion, while also being un-beatable.
- Ace Austin and Madman Fulton were guests on Madison Rayne’s talk shit-show and started a feud with The Rascalz.
- The following matches are scheduled for next week:
Rhino and Heath (maybe) vs. Reno Scum
Ace Austin & Madman Fulton vs. The Rascalz
Sami Callihan vs. Rob Van Dam
Eric Young vs. Eddie Edwards – Impact World Title Match
Final Verdict: 3.8/5
A great main event saved this show from being a bad memory.