22nd Jul2020

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (July 21st 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and papa has a brand new bag…OW!!!!! I HURT MY DAMN LEG ON THE TABLE LEG!!! Well, we’ve got a new World Champion and his name is…Carol Channing? Carol Channing: Up yours, young man! Nathan: Well Carol, are you ready to take us through the show? Carol Channing: Kiss my ass, you son of a b*tch!

Match #1: Chris Bey def. Willie Mack – X-Division Championship Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

After Chris Bey won the X-Division Championship last Saturday at Slammiversary, Willie Mack receives his rematch tonight on IMPACT! Bey springboards to the outside but Willie catches him in mid-air, slamming him to the floor. Willie hits a standing Moonsault in the early going. Willie attempts a Stunner but Bey fights it off. Willie connects with a big forearm instead. Willie crashes and burns with the Six Star Frog Splash as Bey rolls to safety. Bey hits his signature springboard Cutter to win and retain the X-Division Title.

My Opinion: 3.3 out of 5 – This had some great spots and was too short. I wish Mack would have won here, because he is the better choice for the championship as a star and as a wrestler, but Bey ain’t bad, so I don’t have too much venom for the champion’s veins…MAPLE SYRUP!!!! Sorry, I had a Vietnam flash-back again…PIGLET!!!!!!! As I deal with these Vietnam War memories…NOT…MY…MAMMY!!!!!!…I can recall that this match has a lot of kinetic action crammed into a few short minutes that were more like a tease for what this should have been. That being said, this was good fun and that’s better than nothin’.

Match #2: Havok & Nevaeh def. Kiera Hogan & Tasha Steelz (Disqualification)

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

These two teams have developed quite the rivalry over the last several weeks. Kiera and Tasha cut off the ring to wear down Nevaeh. Just when it looks like Nevaeh is building momentum, Tasha shuts her down with a bicycle kick. Nevaeh is finally able to make the tag but Kiera distracts the referee, causing him to miss it. Nevaeh has had enough and connects with a strong neckbreaker on Tasha, allowing her to tag in Havok. The Kaiju Queen hits a series of running knees on both of her opponents. Tasha pulls Nevaeh off the apron. Havok is about to Tombstone Kiera when Tasha hits her in the back with a steel chair, causing the disqualification.

My Opinion: 2.7 out of 5 – This was okay, with there being a lot of excitement from all four fighters, but it never really came together to make the match itself a hit.

Match #3: Rhino def. Hernandez – Winner Takes All Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Hernandez turns his back to count the money that Rhino gave to the referee. After all, this match is for all the marbles from their recent arm wrestling classic. Hernandez turns around and gets caught with a Gore. Rhino scores the win and all the cash in quick fashion.

My Opinion: 0.3 out of 5 – This was a squash with a nice Gore from Rhino as the one and only move in the match.

Match #4: Moose def. Fallah Bahh w/ TJP – TNA World Heavyweight Championship

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Moose hits a big boot to gain control. Moose throws Fallah down to the mat, then follows up with a big elbow drop. Fall builds momentum with a series of running strikes into the corner. Moose turns the tide and connects with the Lights Out spear to win.

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – This went a couple minutes and they knocked the 7-Eleven out of each other. Moose and Bahh did their best “Free Willy: Escape From New York” impressions and it worked for the short chunk of time they were out there.

Match #5: (Main Event) Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) def. The North (Ethan Page & Josh Alexander) – Impact World Tag Team Championship Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

The Motor City Machine Guns are back after defeating The Rascalz in their Slammiversary open challenge and three nights later, they have a shot at the Tag Team Titles. The North begin to wear down Shelley. Page hits Shelley with a spinning backbreaker but Sabin breaks up the pin. Page hands Shelley off to Alexander who finishes with a delayed vertical suplex. Sabin gets the tag and quickens the pace, taking out Page with a missile dropkick off the top rope. Sabin follows up with a big springboard tornado DDT on Page. Sabin dives through the legs of Shelley, colliding with Alexander on the ramp. Shelley traps the arm of Page and locks in a crossface. Meanwhile, Sabin locks in a Cloverleaf on Alexander. Sabin goes for another springboard but Page traps him on the ropes. This allows The North to hit a cutter into a German suplex on Sabin. Shelley breaks up the count but immediately gets tossed to the floor. Sabin rolls up Page while Shelley fends off Alexander for the win. The Motor City Machine Guns have dethroned the longest-reigning Champions in IMPACT history.

My Opinion: 4 out of 5 – This was a great match that had the right team winning the straps a little too soon into their return. Now, this match had lots of that hard-hitting mayhem that you want from these guys, but having it all lead to Motor City Machine Guns getting the straps in their re-debut kinda takes the fun out of them getting the straps back. That being said, I’m glad this match turned out great and that nobody looked weak coming out of it. You’re gonna really dig this thing, right down to the center of the Earth.

News Of The Night:

  1. The Good Brothers brawled with Ace Austin & Madman Fulton to start that feud.
  2. Eddie Edwards and Eric Young are feuding over Eric attacking Rich Swann.
  3. Eddie Edwards will defend the World Title every week, starting with Trey, next week.
  4. The Motor City Machine Guns beat The North for the World Tag Titles.
  5. Wrestle House, which is a spoof of reality shows, debuts next week, thanks to Rosemary summoning many of the wrestlers to John E Bravo’s/Taya Valkyrie’s house.
  6. Ken Shamrock challenged Sami Callihan to possibly fight him, next week.
  7. Rob Van Dam and Katie Forbes are no longer doing the Cancel Culture thing.
  8. Brian Myers had a quick vignette where he wore a cool ninja mask that was made-up to look like Kurt Angle.
  9. Heath Miller (going only by Heath), snuck into the Impact Zone to get a job.
  10. Rohit Raju wants to protect Chris Bey.
  11. The Good Brothers fights Reno Scum, next week.
  12. Deonna Purrazzo will fight Kylie Rae for the Knockout’s Title, soon enough.
  13. EC3 attacked Moose.

Final Verdict: 3.4/5

The show was simple pleasures made better by a great main event.

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