Nerdly » ‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (Jan 14th 2020)

16th Jan2020

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (Jan 14th 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have the fall-out of Hard To Kill, with Tessa Blanchard making history as the first female World Champion at this level of fame. CHIKARA and Lucha Underground have done this as well, but to lesser effect. Okay, let’s get to it.

Match #1: Desi Hit Squad (Rohit Raju & Shera) def. Rascalz (Dez & Wentz), Reno Scum (Adam Thornstowe & Luster the Legend) & TJP & Daga

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Anything goes in this four-way tag team match featuring some of IMPACT Wrestling’s top tag teams. Luster hits Dez with a German suplex, followed by a double foot stomp from Thornstowe. Wentz breaks up the pin attempt at two. Shera powerslams his owner partner Rohit on top of TJP. It doesn’t take long for TJP to get back in the action as he hits a crossbody off the top on both members of the Desi Hit Squad. There’s a flurry of high-flying offense to the outside. Wentz launches himself off the top rope, hitting Daga with a Swanton. Shera connects with Sky High on Dez to win.

My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – This was okay. TJP and Daga were great, but every-thing else was just so-so, like my writing.

Match #2: Joey Ryan def. Johnny Swinger

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Right off the bat, Joey wants Swinger to touch it but Swinger refuses. Swinger gains control with a clothesline. Swinger begins to wear Joey down with a hard Irish whip into the corner. Swinger drops his head on “it” but it damages Swinger more than it does Joey. Swinger goes for the Swinging Neckbreaker but Joey counters and successfully makes him touch it. Joey sends Swinger for a ride but Swinger holds on to the ref, bringing him along with them. Joey goes for the pin but the referee is laid out. Joey puts his lollipop in Swinger’s mouth, followed by Sweet Tooth Music to win.

My Opinion: 2.4 out of 5 – The right guy won a dull match. This was…about what you might think it would be, with d— spots and sex jokes abroad. Hey, I just made a sex joke! B—-jobs! Hahahahahahahahaha! I’m going crazaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Colin Trevorrow’s allegedly leaked Star Wars 9 script sucked as much as the one that was filmed. I’m glad Ryan won and I’m horny for having had watched it.

Match #3: (Main Event) Ace Austin def. Fallah Bahh, Moose & Eddie Edwards

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

We head to the 2300 arena in Philadelphia for this next four-way contest presented by House of Hardcore. Moose hits Fallah with a step-up crossbody in the early going. Fallah comes right back as he exchanges shots with Moose. Eddie repeatedly chops Ace in the corner. Fallah and Moose join the fray but Eddie hits them with a series of chops as well. Fallah dives through the ropes, crashing into Moose and Ace on the floor. Eddie launches himself off the top rope into everyone at ringside. Moose connects with a thunderous Superplex to Fallah. Ace takes Fallah off the top rope with a Super Fold to win.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was a bit rough going in a few spots, but it always worked well overall and had almost twenty minutes to make a good impression. This was hard-hitting and mean like a blue hedgehog with Filipino eyeballs. Ace winning was the best part, because he can do more with the victory than anyone else and he needed it more as well. This was a damn good match.