‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (August 2nd 2019)

Welcome to this week’s review of Impact Wrestling, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have some more wrestling matches from the AWA…$#!@…AEW…$#!@…TNA…you get the idea. Impact Wrestling is on at the same time as its own PPV, so maybe they really are their own worst enemy. If I had been able to buy TNA back in 2014, I would never have done that…because I would have gone out of business in a week, due to being a moron. Still, I would have loved it. Okay, I’m gonna start crying and you can start reading this review.

Match #1: Aiden Prince def. Chuck Mambo, Wentz, Cody Deaner, Rohit Raju & Petey Williams – #1 Contender’s Match for the X-Division Championship

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Prince hits Mambo with a Hurricanrana. Wentz hits a springboard corkscrew on Prince and Mambo. Petey locks in the Sharpshooter on Wentz. Rohit joins in and applies a crossface! Petey connects with a slingshot Codebreaker on Rohit. Cody and Petey fly through the air, hitting in-sync dives to the floor. Wentz, Prince and Mambo all take their turns hitting high-risk aerial maneuvers! Wentz connects with a huge cutter on Prince. Petey takes out Wentz with the Canadian Destroyer! Prince hits Mambo with a Brain Buster, followed by the 450 splash to win!

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – This was a lot of fun, even if it was a bit clunky at times. Aiden was a good choice to win the match, as he comes across as some-one who can be a solid contender at any time. The match should have been built a bit more on really pushing Aiden, rather than just featuring moves that led to a random finish. Overall, this was a match that did its job and made a new contender look like they knew what they were doing, but perhaps not as much time was spent on making that wrestler look like a star.

Match #2: Havok def John E Bravo w/ Knockouts Champion Taya Valkyrie

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Bravo attempts to charm Havok so that she won’t destroy him! Havok goes on the attack and begins picking Bravo apart! Havok connects with a vicious Chokeslam to win.

My Opinion: 1.5 out of 5 – This wasn’t much of a match, but at least Havok won conclusively.

Match #3: Ace Austin def. Stone Rockwell

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Ace connects with a cheap shot before the opening bell to gain the early advantage. Stone turns it around with a big swinging backbreaker. Ace hits The Fold to win.

My Opinion: 2 out of 5 – Stone is a pretty lousy wrestler and Ace is a great one. Ace carried this thing through like a true professional. If Impact does nothing with Ace after a great performance like the one he gave here, then they don’t deserve to have him. All in all, the match was all about Ace being great and Stone being in character.

Match #4: Fallah Bahh def. Moose

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Fallah makes quick work of Moose and scores the upset victory with a huge splash in the corner!

My Opinion: 1 out of 5 – This was not much of a match and it saw Moose look weak at the expense of Bahh, who looked good here.

Match #5: Tessa Blanchard vs. Madman Fulton w/ Sami Callihan Ends in a No Contest

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Fulton hits Tessa with an insane Chokeslam in the early going. Tessa slaps Fulton which only makes him angrier! Fulton locks in a huge Bear Hug. Tessa pulls out some of his air, forcing him to break the hold. Tessa uses her speed advantage to build momentum and hit a tornado DDT! Fulton shuts her down once again with a big boot. Callihan grabs a steel chair and gives it to Fulton. He’s about to use it when Tommy Dreamer makes the save! Tessa uses Dreamer’s kendo stick and tees off on Fulton! Tessa and Dreamer clear the ring of the Madman, causing him and Callihan to retreat!

My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – This was a smart, logical match that was all about Tessa carrying Fulton to a decent match that made both of them look good. Tessa is one of the best of her generation and is quickly becoming a force of nature in pro wrestling. I like Fulton, but he shouldn’t be on TV yet, because there are far too many talented people who are not getting their shot thanks to some-one like Fulton being paid to learn how to wrestle on TV. This was like watching Wreck-It Ralph fight Speedy Gonzalez over who has bigger teeth. I don’t know if that joke makes sense, but it filled some space. This is a nice precursor to more Sami/Tessa wrestling, so that makes this match feel important, no matter its quality.

Match #6: The North (Ethan Page & Josh Alexander) def. The Rascalz (Dez & Trey) – Impact Wrestling Tag Team Championship Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Dez launches himself over the ring post, crashing into Page and Alexander on the floor! Page hits Dez with a Powerslam on the floor, followed by a Powerbomb to Trey on the apron. Alexander Powerbombs Trey into his knee for a two count! The North hit a double team Spinebuster on Trey but Dez breaks up the pin attempt. Alexander catches both Dez and Trey in mid-air and slams them to the mat! Alexander misses a Moonsault, allowing Dez and Trey to hit double 619’s! Dez hits Alexander with Final Flash but Page pulls the referee out of the ring! The North hit a Cutter into a German suplex. They hit one final double team move to win and retain the Tag Team Championships in a wild matchup!

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was an excellent main event that really legitimized The North as a proper pair of champions. The match had all the technique it needed to feel like a proper prize fight and it used every bit of that potential skill to stick the landing. There were plenty of high-spots all over the place, but they never got in the way of the match itself. Every-thing here felt like it mattered and that it was the right move to make in the name of winning the tag titles. Overall, this was the way title matches are supposed to be, which is fantastic.

News Of The Night:

1. Su Yung and Havoc appear to be feuding, thanks to a weird promo delivered from the titantron.
2. Eddie Edwards attacked Ace Austin to start a feud over Alisha Edwards, who herself did not approve of Eddie’s conduct.
3. Madison Rayne is being booked as a jealous rival of Tessa Blanchard.
4. Moose attacked Stone Rockwell, who was saved by Fallah Bahh.
5. Michael Elgin wants to fight Rhino.
6. Madison Rayne and Kiera Hogan bullied a new Knockout in the locker room to continue their heel run.
7. Melissa Santos told Jimmy Jacobs he could interview Brian Cage about his health, next week.
8. Rhino cut a cuss-heavy promo where he said he would destroy the roster.

Final Verdict: 3/5

Saved by the main event, this decent show spent most of its time with promos and the like, but at least the promos had some sort of purpose.