‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (Sept 6th 2018)
Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have more great action than you can snap at. What the hell does that even mean? Is that what Thanos did in Avengers 3? How in the hell did some-thing as dumb as a snap become popular? Have you ever met a grown man who gets drunk at the bar and starts snapping and gets really impressed by what he just did? It makes sound! Dumb-ass.
Match #1: Petey Williams beat Rich Swann
This was an excellent match that did the 50/50 booking thing, which doesn’t work. I don’t mind the idea of each man getting a victory over the other, but when they do so in matches that don’t really have much promotion behind them, it just feels trivial. It’s a shame, because the wrestling in this match was quite good and did more for me than a lot of what I have seen from Impact this year. These guys went from move to move with precision and ease, which is the professional look so many talented athletes only wish they have. You can’t go wrong with a good one and this one was, ultimately, a good one.
Match #2: Desi Hit Squad (Rohit Raju & Gursinger Singh) beat Joe Hendry & Grado – Tag Team Match
This was a decent match with nice action. There was… there’s a pussy-cat outside of my house, right now. The cat is licking its crotch. I wonder if it tastes like tuna fish? Did you know Asian people eat pussy cats? When it’s raining cats and dogs, does Jet Li get excited? It’s hard to picture Jackie Chan eating a pussy… cat. Confucius say… you fired! That kitty cat is still there. Gimme a break/gimme a break/break me off a piece of that Kit Kat Bar! Do you think the Desi Hit Squad likes Kit Kat Bars? I do. I like Kit Kat Bars and I like the Desi Hit Squad. The Desi boys move really well in the ring. The Desi Hit Squad feels like a full, complete act that can draw money in the years to come. The… the pussy-cat found something… something new… I wonder… What’s New Pussy-Cat? / whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa/ What’s New Pussy-Cat? / whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Any-way, this match had some wrestling and it ended, eventually. Oh, look, the pussy-cat is leaving. Bye pussy… it got run over… by a reindeer/ walking home from our house Christmas Eve/ you can say there’s no such thing as Santa/ but as for me and Grandpa/ we take Truvada with PrEP.
Match #3: Eli Drake beat Stone Rockwell
This match sucked. It was less than a minute and felt like I was watching Andy Cohen on The Love Connection.
Match #4: Tessa Blanchard beat Su Yung – Knockout’s Championship Match
This was a really good match that had lots of back and forth that made for lots of suspense. Tessa is already working out as a champion and can be the person to bring in more eyes to the Knockouts. Yung is doing well as this corpse bride thing, but it wasn’t enough on its own to draw in people to the matches… at least not yet. This was a very polished match that can stand the test of time.
Match #5: Main Event – Sami Callihan and Ohio Versus Every-One (Dave and Jake Crist) beat Zachary Wentz, Trey Miguel and Ace Austin – Six-Man Tag Team Match
This was a good match that gave oVe another convincing victory to sell them as a unit before they wrestle at Bound For Glory, in a match we won’t discuss until a week or so from now. It was nice to see the new-comers fight oVe, but I would have rather seen the Knockout’s title match get the main event. The action was fierce and fluid, which might sound like a description for BBQ sauce, but it’s not. I enjoyed myself with a good main event.
News Of The Night:
- The Matt Sydal/ Rich Swann feud is still being teased.
- The Joe Hendry/ Grado/ Katarina story is still happening. Why?
- Alicia Edwards did a dumb vignette with Austin Aries, Moose and Killer Kross.
- LAX and The OGz are having a match at Bound For Glory.
- Allie and Kiera Hogan saved Tessa Blanchard from an attack by Su Yung.
Final Verdict: 3 out of 5 – This was a good show that had a couple of excellent matches. Some interesting stuff for Bound For Glory was teased, so they also used their time well.
