‘Shark Warning’ VOD Review
Stars: Gordon Mudd, Jonas Silbor, Andi Rexha, Andrew J Katers, Angela Cole, David Chokachi, Rebecca Ritz, Canyon Prince | Written by Ryan Ebert | Directed by Jimmy Gadd
When they’re not churning out mockbusters, The Asylum manages to produce films like Shark Warning at a pretty good pace as well. And with fall having arrived, I figured I might as well get in one last tale of finned fury before Krampus and killer Santas become required viewing. I probably shouldn’t have pushed my luck and looked for a killer Rudolph film instead.
Young Danny (Gordon Mudd) and Alan (Jonas Silbor) play on the beach under the not-so-watchful eye of their Uncle Ron (Andi Rexha; Staycation, The Teen Tech Team) when a great white swims into the shallows and attacks Danny. Twenty years later, the now-grown Alan (Andrew J Katers; Genesis, Prepare to Die) is returning just in time for the Lake Havasu fishing tournament. He’s almost instantly recognized by Lisa (Angela Cole; Fighting the Sky, A Roommate to Die For), “You’re the brother that lived!”. Uncle Ron (David Chokachi; Bone Box, Blood Pageant) however doesn’t recognize him until he punches him in the face.
That’s not the only drama going on in town, however. It seems there are no fish left for the fishing tournament, but there are plenty on the other side of the dam. So Mayor Stuart (Rebecca Ritz; Space Girls in Beverly Hills, Coffee House Chronicles: The Final Movie) hires someone to blow a hole in the damn dam and let some fish in. Unfortunately, it also lets in the same shark that ate Alan’s brother.
Now, you probably have a few questions by this point. Questions like how did a great white get to Lake Havasu, let alone survive in a freshwater lake for twenty years? Or how can you blow a hole in a dam and nobody notice? Well, don’t expect any answers beyond a throwaway line about salt water in the lake or the dam being old. Even when one of the characters, the mayor’s brother Will (Canyon Prince; Timecop: The Berlin Decision, Fortress) no less, asks how a shark could end up in the lake, they don’t get an answer. And if he isn’t getting one, you know we aren’t either.
Instead, we get the usual plot points, from the idiot who goes shark fishing in his little boat to the attack on swimmers at the beach. Of course, the mayor won’t cancel the tournament, instead she puts a bounty on the shark to get more people to show up. Does this mean Alan and Ron are going to have to work together to kill the shark? And that Lisa will end up joining them, in a bikini of course, to add some eye candy to the equation? Of course it does.
The shark is, of course, CGI and doesn’t look too bad when it’s in the water, but out of the water, especially when it’s leaping at people in boats, it’s extremely unconvincing. The attacks themselves never get bloodier than some red in the water, so if you’re looking for gore effects, you’ll need to look somewhere else.
Writer Ryan Ebert (Tales of a Fifth Grade Robin Hood, Shark Side of the Moon) and director Jimmy Gadd (Bound for Greatness, Squatting Panda) have put together a film that’s bland and generic even by The Asylum standards. Granted, that’s better than being boring like Megalodon: The Frenzy which Ebert co-wrote, but it’s still not a good thing. Between the plot holes and predictable turn of events, the plot never feels compelling. Coupled with the low-energy attack scenes, Shark Warning never really rises above the level of background noise.
And if all you want is something you can half ass watch while you’re doing something else, Shark Warning might work for you. Everyone else should heed my warning and watch at your own risk.
** 2/5
Shark Warning is available on Digital Platforms now, via The Asylum.
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