‘Takeout’ Review (Tubi Original)
Stars: N’kone Mametja, Deoudoné Pretorius, Darron Meyer, Daniel Janks, Damien Wantenaar, Gia Capouya, Robyn Scott | Written and Directed by Jem Garrard
Takeout marks Jem Garrard’s return to Tubi mayhem, and honestly, thank the streaming gods. After the deliriously fun Slay, Garrard swerves back into the “diner of doom” sub-genre, a space that’s quietly having a moment thanks to gems like The Last Straw. But where that film leaned into siege-horror chaos, Takeout flips the table: instead of victims being hunted, our trio of night-shift misfits decide they want to capture the supposed killer. For the reward money, of course, because working in a diner doesn’t pay the bills. It’s an obvious story beat, but it works.
And that’s where Takeout shines. Garrard takes a simple premise and lets the characters (and the audience) spiral with it. The dynamic between the three coworkers is sharp, silly, and grounded just enough to make their increasingly stupid decisions feel charming rather than frustrating. The humour lands, the tension pops, and the violence hits that sweet spot between nasty and playful; it’s brutal and bloody enough to satisfy genre die-hards but never so bleak that it stops being fun.
One-location horror lives or dies by atmosphere and execution, and Garrard absolutely gets that. Shooting in South Africa but passing it off as Anywheresville, Middle America, she leans into the desolate roadside vibe: the hum of neon, the stillness outside the windows, the sense that the nearest help is about four states away. The location gives the film a weirdly uncanny energy, familiar enough to feel grounded but just “off” enough to add a layer of unease. It’s a clever use of space, and it elevates the tension without ever distracting from the characters.
What’s genuinely refreshing is how much fun this is. Garrard knows exactly what kind of film she’s making, a slick, self-aware popcorn thriller that embraces ridiculousness without ever slipping into parody. The pacing is tight too; it never drags, never pads itself out with filler, and barrels toward a finale that’s both satisfying and absolutely chaotic in the best possible way.
Is it reinventing the wheel? Not at all. But Takeout serves up exactly what you want from a Tubi genre flick done right: likeable characters, clever escalation, splashes of gore, and a director who knows how to turn a late-night deep-fryer shift into a pressure cooker of laughs and dread.
A tasty, bloody treat and proof that the “diner horror” trend can still serve up deliciously deranged delights.
***½. 3.5/5
Takeout is available to watch, for free, on Tubi now.
