‘In the Lost Lands’ Review
Stars: Milla Jovovich, Dave Bautista, Arly Jover, Amara Okereke, Fraser James, Simon Loof, Deirdre Mullins, Tue Lunding, Eveline Hall, Sebastian Stankiewicz | Written by Constantine Werner | Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson
Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson and adapted from a story by Game of Thrones’ George R. R. Martin, dystopian sci-fi thriller In the Lost Lands aims for a fun mixture of spaghetti western, swords and sorcery movies and Mad Max-style post-apocalypse thrills, with a dash of werewolf action thrown in. Unfortunately, it falls painfully short across the board.
“The world you know is gone,” announces the opening caption. Following an unspecified apocalyptic event, everyone in the world now lives in the same place, for some reason. They are ruled over by both a young Queen (Amara Okereke as Melange) and a violent religious cult lead by The Patriarch (Fraser James) and his ruthless enforcer Ash (Arly Jover).
As In the Lost Lands opens, powerful witch Gray Alys (Milla Jovovich, Anderson’s partner and frequent star) escapes Ash’s clutches and has a secret meeting with the Queen, in which she’s tasked with tracking down a werewolf, in order to take the shape-shifter’s power for as yet undisclosed reasons. The journey will require an arduous trek through the lost lands – the barren wastelands surrounding the city – but fortunately, Gray Alys knows just the man for the job, in the shape of hulking hunter Boyce (Dave Bautista).
However, something strange is afoot from the off, because Gray Alys is apparently incapable of refusing to grant anyone’s request for help – it’s a curse, you see – and in addition to promising the Queen the shape-shifter, she also promises the Queen’s consort Jerais (Simon Loof) that she will deliberately fail in her promise to Melange. However, whatever conflict that is supposed to generate is quickly forgotten, because Gray Alys and Boyce soon find themselves relentlessly pursued by Ash, her psychopathic minions, various marauders and some actual demons.
The script, by German screenwriter Constantine Werner is painfully flat and perfunctory throughout, with very little in the way of humour or emotion. In fairness, there is one decent gag, about how upset Boyce gets when his beloved two-headed snake is killed (“It was a good snake, that’s all”), but that’s literally it, levity-wise.
It doesn’t help that there’s zero chemistry between Bautista and Jovovich, either in terms of back-and-forth banter or sexual attraction. This causes a specific problem in the third act, where it’s clear that some emotional investment on behalf of the audience was clearly the intention, but instead there’s nothing.
Indeed, it’s fair to say that all the parts are extremely thin, with hardly anyone having a character that couldn’t be summed up with just one adjective. The irony is that the film absolutely feels like it was based on a video game, but even the most basic video game has better characterisation than this.
Sometimes, great fight sequences can save even the dullest action thriller, but the punch-ups here are bog standard stuff, other than providing a few excuses for Anderson to bust out his signature move – an athletic-looking slow-motion shot of Jovovich doing a flip while kicking someone (or similar). It’s even harder to care when the central duo start fighting demons, because the film doesn’t bother to adequately outline the demons’ power-set, so there’s no sense of tension or threat and it just ends up feeling like watching somebody kill monsters in a shoot-‘em-up.
On top of that, the look of the film is disappointingly drab, with all the colours reduced to an ugly mix of grey and yellow. Why establish desert wastelands, if you’re not going to take advantage of the striking scenery options such a location would provide?
For the most part, despite its many flaws, In the Lost Lands remains just about watchable thanks to Bautista’s likeable screen presence, even if the film doesn’t exactly take advantage of the actor’s established comedic talents. However, just occasionally, it is actively laugh-out-loud terrible, such as when Boyce starts talking about how much he loves the city as if it’s New York or something, and all we’ve seen of it is an unmitigated hell hole.
Rest assured, In the Lost Lands is something of a disappointment, although the fans of the Resident Evil franchise might get a bit more out of it if they squint a bit (Alys / Alice is surely no coincidence). It’s a shame because there’s a degree of potential – spaghetti westerns, werewolves etc – that the script ends up completely wasting. Ah well.
** 2/5
In the Lost Lands will be released in the UK tomorrow, March 14th.
