‘Bigfoot Exorcist’ Review
Stars: Crystal Quin, Steve Guynn, Dixie Gers, Ford Winstar, Jessa Flux, Kasper Meltedhair, Jocephus Brody | Written by Donald Farmer, Newt Wallen | Directed by Donald Farmer, Newt Wallen
You have to hand it to Donald Farmer (Debbie Does Demons, Shark Exorcist), when the crowdfunding campaign for Bigfoot Exorcist raised just under $2,000 of the $10,000 budget he still got the film made and picked up by a distributor. Whether he should have is another question, and that’s what we’re going to find out.
The film opens with a woman (Crystal Quin; It Requires Sacrifice, The Portal) her shirt ripped open so her bright red bra can blind the viewer, running for her life. She still has time to stop, so the camera can give us a shot of her breasts rising and falling in time to the soundtrack. She shouldn’t have done that because the mostly unseen creature chasing her catches up with her, disembowels her and rips her arm off.
A jogger gets catcalled by a couple of creeps but has a bigger problem when another creature, this one looking sorta like a Wendigo, but is actually Bigfoot, stalks, and after watching her stretch for several minutes, kills her. Could either have something to do with the trio of hooded figures in the woods praying to Satan? It might because Dr. Warbeck (Steve Guynn; Sharks of the Corn, 6 Feet Below Hell) there’s a woman at the hospital who looks like she’s been attacked by a wild animal, but is deliriously rambling about witches and demons.
Co-written and co-directed by Farmer and Newt Wallen (Swamp Zombies 2, Midnight Show) Bigfoot Exorcist is one of the strangest things I’ve seen this year, but not always in a good way. It disjointedly bounces around between multiple plot threads.
There’s the unnamed and inept exorcist nun (Dixie Gers; Curse of the Weredeer, Crazy Fat Ethel) who tries to cast the satanic spirit of Sasquatch out of a man only to set it on a killing spree. There’s also Claude (Ford Winstar; Kill, Granny, Kill!, Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters)and his girlfriend Rose (Jessa Flux; The Art of Killing, Phobophobia) head out camping, or maybe it’s glamping, because their cabin seems to be part of a subdivision full of them. Claude saves Brandi (Kasper Meltedhair; Hooker with a Hacksaw, A Knife Named Love) from the creature but gets wounded and transforms into one himself.
Characters randomly appear and disappear at, some scenes seem to be presented out of chronological order, and nothing makes a bit of sense, But at least Jessa is there to show her breasts and give birth to Bigfoot’s baby after what appears to be a twenty-four-hour pregnancy.
Amazingly, Bigfoot Exorcist packs all of this into an hour’s worth of film. Then pads it out with ten minutes worth of credits and random footage. Not the Farmer’s films have ever been noted for their strong plots, but it looks like most of the scenes connecting everything were cut and what money they had went on shooting the creature scenes.
I also noticed that the first creature was played by pro wrestler Jocephus Brody, who died in 2021 and also appears in Debbie Does Demons. So possibly that contributed to the problems as well, shutting things down and forcing rewrites to try and get a finished film. It would certainly explain where the idea that you can become a Sasquatch the same way you become a zombie came from.
Regardless of the reasons, the result is a film that at times almost becomes unintentionally surreal. There are some funny moments, a neighbour coming on to the clueless Claude, the would-be exorcist being told “I think we need a bigger cross!”, a corpse that can’t stop breathing, etc. There’s also a bit of gore and, as noted, Ms Flux keeping her fans satisfied. I can’t really recommend Bigfoot Exorcist, but if you’re drunk/stoned/easily amused you’ll probably have some fun with it.
** 2/5
Bigfoot Exorcist is available on DVD and on Digital now from Wild Eye Releasing.
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