Nerdly » ‘Colonials’ VOD Review

14th Apr2023

‘Colonials’ VOD Review

by James Rodrigues

Stars: Greg Kriek, Daniel Roebuck, Sean Kanan, Jamie Bernadette, Allie Ayers, Louise Barnes, Jon Provost, Mike Ferguson | Written by Joe Bland, Cyrus Cheek | Directed by Andrew Balek, Joe Bland

Opening on broken ship pieces floating above Earth, a distress signal plays detailing how the planet is in ruins courtesy of The Exiles, an antagonistic moon-based civilization. Directors Andrew Balek and Joe Bland highlight the dire situation before cutting to Silas (Greg Kriek), a space colonist from Mars who’s excited to partake in an important mission to discover what happened to the ‘humans of old.’ That eagerness transforms into terror when The Exiles attack, destroying Silas’ ship and causing him to crash-land on Earth. Awakening without his memory, the colonist is found by Resistance members intent on saving the galaxy from human extinction.

Based on a screenplay Bland co-wrote with Cyrus Cheek, there’s a sense the creatives have imagined their own lore they want to bring alive starting with this feature. They wish to instil wonder and excitement into viewers, although that’s difficult when such generic material has been done to better effect many times before. This is reflected in the antagonists, as the enigmatic assassin and her gravelly-voiced boss are meant to be feared, yet they’re merely standard archetypes retooled in uninteresting ways.

Colonials tries selling itself as a sci-fi epic, what hurts things is the emphasis on lacklustre humour. It’s difficult to buy into the stakes when farcical music undercuts scenes, highlighting the humour attempts as gracelessly as a laugh track. While comedy is subjective, it’s difficult to argue the merits of a half-hearted scene where a robot urinating on Silas leads to a near-nude chase. As such, what unfolds lacks weight and lessens the stakes audiences are meant to feel.

Not helping matters are the heightened performances which exaggerate the characters to a grating effect. It’s one thing to lean into the character traits such as “comedy sidekick” or “hardened survivor”, yet the hyperactive performances are off-putting. One gets the impression that cast members were instructed to learn from 2000’s Nickelodeon sitcoms, which leaves the characters and their choices feeling divorced from believability.

As this universe is made up of interesting yet unremarkable designs, they’re brought alive by some of the most glaring visual effects witnessed in recent years. The art style is distracting enough when shown on its own, resembling the Toonami block realised on a lower budget, although it on-screen with the human cast is an uncomfortable sight plagued by evident green-screen. With an ending that promises further stories in a franchise, the “Fear the Future” tagline feels appropriate.