Nerdly » ‘Don’t F*ck in the Woods 2’ Review

04th Oct2022

‘Don’t F*ck in the Woods 2’ Review

by Phil Wheat

Stars: Brittany Blanton, Cheyenne Gordon, Julie Anne Prescott, Kaylee Williams, Mark Justice, Jason Crowe | Written by Shawn Burkett, Cheyenne Gordon | Directed by Shawn Burkett

The original Don’t F*ck in the Woods was something of a viral sensation upon its release, thanks to both a successful crowdfunding campaign and THAT title. Now, some six years later (though the film carries a 2020 copyright at the end) we get a sequel – a direct sequel that is, which follows a group of summer camp counsellors partying (i.e. having a LOT of sex…) before Jane (Brittany Blanton) stumbles into their camp, warning those who’ll listen against the parasitic monsters of the first film, monsters that are attracted to sexual activity.

Like last time, to stay alive this film’s characters are warned “Don’t F*ck in the Woods.” However, that warning comes FAR too late given that the first half of this sequel features just that – copies amounts of sex and nudity – with our parasitic killer only glimpsed in brief cutaways, crawling through the woods. Eventually the parasite finds its first host and the mutation/infection begins anew. An infection that once again features terrible effects work – mainly giant plastic fanged teeth, cloudy white contact lenses and tons of CGI blood splatter!

The original film was positioned as a homage to genre films of the 80s, bringing back the heady mix of sex and death that marked out slasher films for over a decade. Unfortunately for director and co-writer Shawn Burkett, Don’t F*ck in the Woods 2 feels like more of the same, a retread of what’s come before if you will – though there’s also apparently a third film in the franchise, the end to Burkett’s trilogy, in the works – which means its probably best if you go into this film having either a) Not seen the original film or b) forgotten the plot of it…

It’s not like there’s much plot to these anyway, both films are pretty much a lot of semi-naked women, semi-graphic sex scenes and then a bit of horror and gore. In fact, this film has MORE of the former than the latter and will probably be remembered more for the tits on show than the gore! Though thankfully Don’t F*ck in the Woods 2 does get more and more gruesome as time goes on, eventually swapping one bodily fluid (semen) for another (blood) AND throwing in a chainsaw or good measure!

And whilst the film itself feels a little lacklustre in terms of adding to the franchise or telling a new story in this “world”, where it does succeed is in setting up a third film (which is 100% confirmed at the close of this movie). Don’t F*ck in the Woods 2 saves its best effects till the end, for the reveal of a brand new monster – which looks remarkably like the creature from a certain Brit sci-fi horror classic, directed by Norman J. Warren… yes, I’m talking about Inseminoid!

Oh, and if you stay around after the film’s outtakes AND credits, there’s a cherry on top post-credits scene that will confuse AND delight fans in equal measure!