‘AEW: Dark’ Review (March 22nd 2022)
It’s time for this week’s review of AEW: Dark, which emanates from AEW Universal and features a whopping 14 matches in just over an hour… So you know what that means. Squash-tastic action this week! We’ve got Taz and Excalibur on commentary so let’s get right to it.
Match #1: Jay Lethal def. JD Drake
My Thoughts: This was a great opener with one of my personal faves JD Drake holding his own against Jay Lethal. I know Drake isn’t going to win this but he gave one hell of a performance, making Lethal work for the win. One day Drake will get a solo win against one of AEW’s big-name stars.
My Score: 3 out of 5
Match #2: The Butcher & The Blade def. Carlie Bravo & Shawn Dean
My Thoughts: The Butcher follows up his fantastic singles match last week with a total squash match on poor Carlie Bravo & Shawn Dean. I know I said I wanted to see more of Bravo and Dean teaming but not like this. At least Dean got some offence in, which means he’ll probably rip himself apart on Sammy’s vlog in a skit next week!
My Score: 1.5 out of 5
Match #3: Anthony Ogogo def. Ray Jaz
My Thoughts: Yup. Another squash. You knew these were coming given the short run time compared to the number of matches in the show. Ogogo is being re-built in a badass “killing machine” again following his lengthy medical absence, so this fit that perfectly.
My Score: 1 out of 5
Match #4: Nyla Rose def. Kaci Lennox
My Thoughts: This was a repeat of this week’s Elevation match insomuch that Rose didn’t mess around with her opponent and just demolished Lennox. One of the quickest matches on this card.
My Score: 1 out of 5
Match #5: Blake Christian def. Rohit Raju
My Thoughts: Former WWE superstar Blake Christian appears in AEW and gets a win over veteran Rohit Raju. Which was a surprise. What wasn’t a surprise was how short this match was. Come on AEW, let’s not follow the WWE’s penchant for short matches on a WRESTLING show! At least this one wasn’t a squash, with both men looking good at the close.
My Score: 2.5 out of 5
Match #6: The Acclaimed def. Adrian Alanis & Liam Gray
My Thoughts: Max Caster got the spotlight last week in a singles match against Keith Lee so it only makes sense for Anthony Bowens to take the reins in this match. Again this was a squash but THe Acclaimed can make anything look good… and be a lot of fun!
My Score: 1.5 out of 5
Match #7: AQA def. Valentina Rossi
My Thoughts: The hype train for AQA continues as she gets a win over the ever-reliable Valentina Rossi, who herself deserves a win or two on Dark at least given that she always gives a great performance. This was a short squash as expected but that seems to be the theme of this week’s show.
My Score: 1.5 out of 5
Match #8: Tony Nese def. Karam
My Thoughts: This one felt like it was a mere excuse to pad Tony Nese’s stats out and warm him, and the audience, up for his match against Swerve later this week. Nese was good as usual and Karam, given his size, looked like a hell of an opponent for him.
My Score: 2 out of 5
Match #9: Abadon def. Angelica Risk
My Thoughts: Now THIS is a squash match I can get behind! Abadon seems to be at home in these kinds of Dark and Elevation matches, which also seems where she’s been left by Tony Khan… Maybe one day she’ll get a chance to face the women who appear on Dynamite and Rampage regularly? But then – like Nyla Rose – she’ll have to win ALL her matches to keep up the mystique of her character.
My Score: 2.5 out of 5
Match #10: Colten Gunn & Austin Gunn def. Victor Chase and JCruz
My Thoughts: I know I’m not a fan of the Gunn Club, or Ass Bouys as the crowd and their opponents chanted but even their biggest fans would have to admit this match was a total waste of time. Going less than a minute? WTF?! Seriously! I don’t often give out zero scores, even for squashes, but…
My Score: 0 out of 5
Match #11: Mercedes Martinez def. Gemma Jewels
My Thoughts: Gemma Jewels’ inexperience showed here – as it would any young wrestler facing the veteran Mercedes Martinez – but it was nice to see a member of the Nightmare Factory get a chance on TV. I’ll sound like a broken record but this was another squash, going less than 2 minutes.
My Score: 1.5 out of 5
Match #12: The Varsity Blondes def. Sotheara Chhun & Tony Vincita
My Thoughts: The last time Sotheara Chhun was in a tag match he was tagged in merely to eat the pin, so I didn’t expect much here. So I was surprised to see Chhun & Tony Vincita mount some decent offence on Brian Pillman. Griff Garrison saved this match, with some hard-hitting aggressive wrestling that made him look the proverbial million dollars compared to everyone else involved in the match.
My Score: 2.5 out of 5
Match #13: Marina Shafir def. Leila Gray
My Thoughts: Much like Abadon’s match earlier, this was another squash match that made sense, with Marina Shafir building her reputation as a badass machine through some quick, decisive wins.
My Score: 1.5 out of 5
Match #14: Powerhouse Hobbs def. Fuego Del Sol
My Thoughts: Fuego Del Sol got a win over Powerhouse Hobbs. Yes, you read that right… A win. Sorry… I was dreaming. He lost. Again. Whilst Fuego out up a good fight (as he always does), using his speed and agility to combat Hobbs’ strength, he couldn’t escape the sheer size and, pun intended, power of Powerhouse Hobbs.
My Score: 3 out of 5
Final Verdict: 2/5
I’m not going to lie, even as an AEW fanboy I thought this was a bad episode of Dark. This episode was saved literally by the opening and closing matches. You could literally skip this entire show and just watch those two. Really. Don’t know what’s happened to Dark recently, the quality has really fluctuated, hitting the lows of the almost 3-hour pandemic show which became a real slog to get through.
