25th Aug2021

WWE Raw – Aug 23rd 2021: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s WWE Monday Night Raw review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have the fallout from SummerSlam, which seems to have pissed everybody off despite being pretty decent by and large. Brock Lesnar is a face and Becky Lynch is rumored to be a heel. Eh. Vince just can’t do anything the normal way, can’t he? Well…neither can I! Prince Ali! Mighty is he! Ali Ababwa! Strong as ten regular men, definitel… Malcolm Tent: Cease and desist with this creative writing! I am Malcom Tent! These things you are doing are what is wrong with people! You should be put down you ignorant squelch! How dare you dare to make merry of this review? You need to write this thing as if you were still working for Disney! Remember when you worked Walt Disney? The taint you shared with his excellency? Minnie’s craw was your oyster! Look at you now! Peddling honest opinions for pennies on the dollar! What good is honesty when you can kill a man? Why… (Tent is shot) Me: Good point about the last thing. Wait a minute. I never worked for Disney. Huh. Who was he trying to talk to? I…look…a bird! Come here you stupid bird! I’m gonna get’cha! Get you good! Raw starts now! Here fishy, fishy, fishy!

[Author’s Note: Riddle, a man accused of rape, is on this show and if that alarms or upsets you, then viewer discretion is advised].

Match #1: Damian Priest def. Bobby Lashley by disqualification

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After WWE Champion Bobby Lashley and MVP kicked off Raw claiming that The All Mighty does not owe an apology to Goldberg, Gage or anyone else, new United States Champion Damian Priest took issue. This led to a match between the two champions which saw Sheamus quickly make his presence felt, attacking Priest and causing the disqualification. Luckily for The Archer Of Inamy, Drew McIntyre rushed to his aid to even the odds after the bout.

The Verdict: 2 out of 10

Match #2: Damian Priest & Drew McIntyre def. Bobby Lashley & Sheamus

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

An impromptu match was made as Drew McIntyre & Damian Priest aimed to knock off WWE Champion & Sheamus. At the end of a hard-hitting battle, The All Mighty decided to take a walk, leaving Sheamus to suffer the defeat at the hands of The Scottish Warrior courtesy of a thunderous Claymore.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10

Match #3: Karrion Kross def. Ricochet

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Karrion Kross looked to continue his rise on Raw and did so in the form of a one-on-one match against Ricochet. Kross set out to make Ricochet fall and pray and completed the mission when he defeated the former United States Champion by forcing him to submit to the Kross Jacket.

The Verdict: 2 out of 10

Match #4: Xavier Woods def. The Miz

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After riling up Logan Paul during “Moist TV,” The Miz had to shift his focus to a matchup against Xavier Woods. John Morrison decided to insert himself in the action with his patented drip stick, inadvertently costing The A-Lister his match against Woods thanks to a quick roll-up.

The Verdict: 6 out of 10

Match #5: Mansoor def. Jinder Mahal by disqualification

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Mansoor had Mustafa Ali in his corner to face his toughest challenge yet in the form of Jinder Mahal, flanked by the mighty Veer & Shanky. Mansoor got in some spurts of surprise offense, causing The Modern Day Maharajah to lose his cool and attack Mansoor in the corner, exceeding the referee’s count and being disqualified from the match. Ali was not impressed with his partner’s effort and berated him about the result.

The Verdict: 1 out of 10

Match #6: Rhea Ripley & Nikki A.S.H. def. Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Both failing to leave SummerSlam as Raw Women’s Champion thanks to Charlotte Flair, Rhea Ripley & Nikki A.S.H. aimed to bounce back as a tag team. Taking on former WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler was no easy task, but The Nightmare and The Almost Superhero took care of business when A.S.H. hit Jax with a big crossbody and Ripley connected with Riptide on Baszler to earn the victory.

The Verdict: 6 out of 10

Match #7: (Main Event) Riddle def. AJ Styles

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

RK-Bro were confronted by now former Raw Tag Team Champions AJ Styles & Omos during their championship celebration, leading to a one-on-one encounter between Riddle and The Phenomenal One. Now with Randy Orton firmly in his corner, The Original Bro came away with the hard-fought win as The Viper attacked Omos with his new personalized scooter, leading Riddle to connect with the Bro Derek on Styles for the win.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10

Final Verdict: 3/10

There’s some decent wrestling now and then, but with time not allotted for half of those matches and bad booking decisions interfering with the other matches, I’d call this whole event a stalled effort. Priest and Lashley had a two minute match that came about after a twenty minute promo, because that’s always a good idea. Then, the tag match, which got time and was good, still felt like it didn’t matter. Lashley’s attack on Godberg’s son was the catalyst for both of these matches. Okay. So, we have that out of the way and we’re on to Ricochet being squashed by Karrion Kross, who had two minutes to debut his red-licorice condom version of He-Man’s costume. I’m not s–ting you. Vince had go out there looking like the gay porno version of The Green Knight. Well, at least Kross got to win. Poor Ricochet. Xavier Woods and The Miz were having a nice match, but they kept getting interrupted by all this water park bull-s–t from John Morrison. Why is Johnny Nitro/Mundo/Impact/Hennigan doing this to himself/Jerry Seinfeld? Cedar Point has the water sports! I’ll get hot water all over me at Cedar Point! I don’t need it here! Also, The Miz turned on Johnny Nitro/Mundo/Impact/Hennigan for accidentally spraying him with the water or some s–t. Deli meat! Mansoor beat Jinder Mahal in a short s–t-show that made both men look awful. It was a DQ finish! Ewwww!!!!!! Nothing happened! It was just stomping and hitting! Rhea Ripley and Nikki Cross/A.S.H./YMCA/XYZ/Houston, we have a loogie beat the Barber Shop Kids in a decent match that had some get-up-and-go, but not the time to get up and go kick some ass. Hey! That’s a good line! I’m great damn it! I don’t suck! You suck! Nia was slow as a government here, but at least the right team won. Finally, we get to the main event, which was the weakest match between Riddle and AJ that I can recall, but at least it was still quite good regardless. Too much of a focus was on Randy Orton and Omos brawling. Who cares about those assholes when we have two people in the ring? What in the name of Britney Spears is going on here? Has Vince blown his goat?! Owen Hart worked with sheep! AJ and Riddle kept the action moving along, but that action was constantly running into obstacles from Vince, mostly in the form of Omos doing tall people s–t. Then, not only do we have all of this malarkey from Orton and Coco Burns, but we have a flat ending in that the ending of the match ends the show. So, there was no real reason to do any of these things outside the ring. It was all a waste of time. I’m getting a headache thinking about this. I wish Vince would just retire already, but since he ain’t gonna do that, I’m just gonna pretend that I’m Patrick Dempsey. Look at me! I’m Patrick Dempsey! I’m a dick! I’ll see you next time.

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