20th Jul2021

WWE Raw – July 19th 2021: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s WWE Monday Night Raw review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and I’m here with Justin Bieber, his pimp Scooter Braun and these cucks he’s with to grab some dinner here at… What’s this place again? Justin Bieber: Lucky’s Steakhouse. Me: Thank you. We’re here at Louie’s… JB: Lucky’s. Me: Shut up woman! I’m trying to tell the people about Lifty’s! So we’re here at Loopy’s… Scooter Braun: Lucky’s! Me: I don’t validate parking! Licky’s is a nice joint. Bringing this old chick to Loofy’s for her birthday is a great way to tell her she’s got AIDS. JB: What the f–k?! Me: This is why old chicks shouldn’t whore around! Do you think Loggy’s has any McDonald’s? If Lammy’s doesn’t have any McDonald’s, I’ll just get some cigarettes. JB: Cigarettes?! Me: Old chicks don’t smoke! You’d think with your AIDS you’d wanna just stay healthy you crazy b–ch! Now shut your pole hole and order something from Lubby’s. JB: Lucky’s! Me: You’re at Limby’s! Order something from Liddy’s you sick ol’ slut! SB: Leave now! Me: You want me to leave Listy’s? I wouldn’t leave this coughing broad with you at Lizzy’s if the staff here at Laffy’s asked me! I care about this stupid old c–t and I’d rather kill her then leave her here with you at Lusty’s! JB: Holy s…!!!!!!!! Me: Shhhh. Shhh. Shhhhhh. Let the cushion of the booth here at Lorpy’s suffocate you, you sweet old skank. Where you’re going, you’ll be able to screw all the c–k you want, just like here at Lappy’s, because here at Loozy’s, you can eat until you drop dead. SB: Oh my God! He’s dead! Justin!!!!!!! Me: Well, she dropped dead. I guess it’s time get the check. You’re paying. SB: WHAT?!?!?!?! Me: I SAID YOU’RE PAYING!!!!!!!! What are you, deaf? SB: WHAT?!?!?!?! Me: Turn your hearing aid up Grandpa! I’m sorry Grandma died, but she had AIDS. Grandpa…the b–ch was cheating on you. SB: YOU KILLED HIM!!!!!! Me: Don’t worry Grandpa. You’ll be with her…now. SB: NO…GAHCK!!!!! Me: It is a far, far better rest I take…SNAP! Would you look at that? Both of my grandparents having one last lunch together at their favorite restaurant…Lasty’s. Well, let’s start the review!

Match #1: Riddle/The Viking Raiders b. John Morrison/AJ Styles/Omos

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Still waiting for his bro Randy Orton to return, Riddle joined forces with The Viking Raiders to battle Raw Tag Team Champions AJ Styles & Omos and “America’s Moist-Wanted” John Morrison. It wasn’t long before Johnny’s Drip Stick came into play, as Riddle slyly made it seem as though The Miz doused Omos at ringside, creating an opening for Riddle, Erik & Ivar to pick up the victory with the Viking Experience.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – This son of a gun just got right to shootin’ and it hit the target more often than not. Now, I wouldn’t go saying they were landing bullseye after bullseye, but they weren’t just shooting blindly into an open space either. This was a full-blown shoot-out and everybody had enough rounds loaded to tear the joint apart. Still, nobody stayed down for the count, so maybe it was the kind of gun these guys were allowed to fire? Fast and loose makes for a good show, but having the wrong caliber firearm kinda seems to keep you from putting one between the eyes when it counts. I guess you could say that these guys all had a Mexican Standoff at high noon and did a lot of damage, but never quite got the kill.

Match #2: Jaxson Ryker b. Elias – Symphony of Destruction Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Jaxson Ryker set out to finally settle his score with Elias in a brutal Symphony of Destruction Match. After interrupting Elias’ first message in front of a live WWE Universe in a very long time, Ryker kept on the attack in this match with Falls Count Anywhere rules. These two threw everything from the keyboard and the drumset to the gong and the piano at each other, and Ryker hit a massive Superplex on Elias through two tables to earn the win.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – As all-over-the-place brawls go, this was all over the place. These guys took big hits and bigger bumps to sell this sucker. They got a lot of time, but that time flew by. They used all of the instruments and made good music together. This is a hell of a way to start a band. Elias was here to get the tar beaten out of him and he got the tar beaten out of him. If you wanted a slug-fest with a big finish, then you got just that. I had fun. I bet their backs didn’t though.

Match #3: Natalya/Tamina b. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler aimed to get back to their winning ways in a Championship Contenders Match against WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions Natalya & Tamina. With Reginald in their corner, Jax & Baszler took it to the champs until a brief distraction by Reginald led to Tamina catching Baszler with a swift Superkick for the victory. Following the bout, Jax & Baszler both seemed to dump Reginald, but a sudden appearance by Akira Tozawa on the run from potential 24/7 Title challengers led to a staredown with Reggie. The end result? Reginald is your new 24/7 Champion!

The Verdict: 4 out of 10 – Length was the enemy of this short yet promising bout. These two teams tried to make something of this, but when the sands of time pour against you, how can you do anything but drown in the desert?

Match #4: Sheamus b. Humberto Carrillo

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Humberto Carrillo finally got his fair one-on-one opportunity in a Championship Contenders Match against United States Champion Sheamus. With Damian Priest cheering him on backstage, Carrillo put in a valiant effort but came up short courtesy of a devastating Brogue Kick from The Celtic Warrior.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – Wallop. That’s a word this match deserves to have in its back pocket. It comes so close to packing a wallop that you could almost wince. These two went right for it and didn’t hold back. How can you not give a match that has enough action to give an old codger one last thrill a look? You don’t want to see a dusty old boner? Well, to each their own.

Match #5: Bobby Lashley b. Keith Lee

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Coming off his destruction of Kofi Kingson at WWE Money in the Bank, “The All Mighty” WWE Champion Bobby Lashley and MVP were riding high, and Keith Lee made his return to Raw to answer an open challenge from the champion. Lee put up a strong fight against The All Mighty, but Lashley stood tall. Ironically, the WWE Champion won with a Spear, only to be immediately confronted by the master of the Spear, WWE Hall of Famer Goldberg, who issued a bold challenge with just two words: “I’m next!”

The Verdict: 6 out of 10 – While far shorter than it should have been, this was a solid way to bring Keith Lee back into the mix. Lee did get to hammer away at Bobby several times and it did look very convincing. It’s a shame that Lee didn’t get more time here, but he impressed and that is no small feat.

Match #6: Jeff Hardy b. Karrion Kross

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

NXT Champion Karrion Kross was immediately put to the test in his Monday Night Raw debut, taking on “The Charismatic Enigma” Jeff Hardy. Kross put up an impressive showing, but the veteran Hardy escaped with the win by placing his feet on the middle rope during the decisive pinfall, leading Kross to issue a warning to all of WWE that, sooner or later, everyone will fall and pray.

The Verdict: 3 out of 10 – While far too brief, this was nevertheless a fine showing for Kross, whose sudden loss to Hardy was not a great moment for himself, but a return to prominence for the former WWE World Champion. Kross can take the loss because he sells in the face with subtlety and intensity, as well as having the charisma to carry himself as important even in defeat. Hardy worked well with Kross and gave his part of the bout his usual zest. For one that disappointed, it still managed to be interesting.

Match #7: (Main Event) Charlotte Flair b. Rhea Ripley – Raw Women’s Title Match (DQ)

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Charlotte Flair put her championship on the line just one night removed from winning it against Rhea Ripley at WWE Money in the Bank, and it was another absolute war. After a hard-hitting battle, Flair got herself disqualified by striking Ripley with the Raw Women’s Title, but Ripley quickly responded with a devastating Riptide to the champion.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – Before the finish, this was a real slobber-knocker. Flair and Rhea clocked each other like they were speeding 80 in a 20 mile an hour zone. This whole thing was like a race to the finish and a thunderous one at that. No moment was wasted here, but they were too few and what a shame it was. Still, a good match is a good match and this was a good match.

Match #8: (Main Event) Nikki A.S.H. b. Charlotte Flair – Raw Women’s Title Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Seeing that The Queen was wounded, Nikki A.S.H emerged with her newly-won Money in the Bank contract to cash in and defeat Flair with a high crossbody to become the new Raw Women’s Champion!

The Verdict: 1 out of 10 – As a match, it was one move. That being said…Nikki f–kin’ won! Suck it asshole!

Final Verdict: 6/10

On a night where Reginald lost Nia Jax before gaining the 24/7 Title, we had John Cena’s return promo and subsequent Bro-Off supply us with a summary of how the night would progress: oddly. One minute you’d be getting great wrestling, then bad booking. New faces and old friends would arrive, yet be resoundingly punished for accepting the invitation to visit. The raucous crowd was a gift to Vince McMahon, but he had only disdain for them. However, things that have been wanted happened, if only to negate the hostility that the various misfortunes riddled throughout the show fostered. What a bizarre way for Raw to return to normal. I’ll see you next time.

One Response to “WWE Raw – July 19th 2021: Results & Review”

  • Nathan Favel

    I forgot…Goldberg! Goldberg challenged Bobby Lashley to Summerslam for the WWE World Title.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.