‘AEW: Dark’ Review (July 13th 2021)
Hello and welcome to this weeks review of AEW: Dark… Didn’t Tony Khan say one of the two “Dark” shows was going to change now they’re back on the road? Doesn’t look like it to me. In fact it looks like we’re back to overly-long, overly-average episodes of Dark and Elevation. See for yourself:
Match #1: Matt Hardy def. Jah-C
My Thoughts: As usual Matt hardy looks clumsy throughout this match, with Jah-C making him look even slower than usual with his fast-pace, quick-footed style. Oh, and don’t get me started on the stupid f**king degradation of new HFO member Jora Johl… its toally f**king embarassing and IMHO shouldn’t be on TV in 2021.
My Score: 1 out of 5
Match #2: Brian Cage def. Foxx Vinyer
My Thoughts: Foxx Vinyer looks like Zicky Dice if he had Brian Cage’s physique. And that’s the only stand out from this squash match.
My Score: 1 out of 5
Match #3: The Acclaimed def. Derek Pisaturo & Roman Rozell
My Thoughts: Derek Pisaturo & Roman Rozell cam out dressed in camo which made them targets for Max Caster’s rap and the demolishing of the duo didn;t stop at his Caster’s rap. Pisaturo and Rozell may have had the size advantage but The Acclaimed got the win.
My Score: 2 out of 5
Match #4: Diamante def. Harlow O’Hara
My Thoughts: Harlow O’Hara makes her AEW debut and whilst Taz and Exaclibur commented that her outfit looked like the Statue of Liberty I thought she looked like Siobhan Fahey in her Shakespeare’s Sister phase. Anyway back to the wrestling… O’Hara looed like a great foil for Diamante as both women delivered stiff shots to each other making this feel like a real brawl.
My Score: 2 out of 5
Match #5: Ethan Page def. Ryan Mantell
My Thoughts: This went exactly as you’d expect. Mantell offered some offense but lost to Page in less than three minutes, hitting his Ego’s Edge finisher for the win.
My Score: 1 out of 5
Match #6: Big Swole def. Sahara Seven
My Thoughts: Swole and the debuting Seven looked evenly matched at the offset, with Seven doing some damage to Swole in the corner in the first half of the match but her hard-hitting offense wasn’t enough to overcome Big Swole who, it looks like, is set for a feud with Diamante
My Score: 2 out of 5
Match #7: Dante Martin def. RSP
My Thoughts: CZW and GCW wrestler Rickey Shane Page makes his debut on AEW against the young, and a LOT more inexperienced, Dante Martin. But that didn’t stop Martin, who had to put up one hell of a fight against RSP – at times looking like he could actually lose this one. Kudos to RSP who looked hard as nails when hitting his offense but also sold tremendously well for Martin. A fantastic match.
My Score: 3 out of 5
Match #8: Stu Grayson & Evil Uno def. Papadon & Sean Maluta
My Thoughts: Sean Maluta returns to AEW programming in a tag match against the hotter-than-hot Grayson and Uno… And -1, who tried to tag into this match (the second time in as many weeks he’s tried to tag in)! This was an impressive and decisive win for the two members of the Dark Order.
My Score: 2.5 out of 5
Match #9: Ryan Nemeth def. Marcus Kross
My Thoughts: Marcus Kross and his anime-inspired hair return to AEW, even if Excalibur said it was his debut… though it seems commentary are distinguishing between debuting on each individual show rather than AEW as a whole. For some reason. Whatever. Anywho, Kross was fast but couldn’t deal with the entire cadre of Wingmen backing up Nemeth outside the ring.
My Score: 2 out of 5
Match #10: Penelope Ford def. Robyn Renegade
My Thoughts: Some aggressive wrestling from both women here and some briliant heel work from Ford (gotta love her sneaky moves right under the mose of the ref).
My Score: 2 out of 5
Match #11: Frankie Kazarian def. Austin Green
My Thoughts: Austin Green looked liked a badass here, throwing Kazarian around the ring with ease. This thing didn’t let up, with Kazarian getting the quick finish with the chicken wing before he was punished any more by Green.
My Score: 2.5 out of 5
Match #12: Lee Johnson & Brock Anderson def. Mark Davidson & Aaron Frye
My Thoughts: Nightmare Family members Lee Johnson & Brock Anderson tagging together makes a lot of sense, especially given how Johnson has the experience on AEW TV, he can help Brock get used to television, plus they work really well together – getting the win here.
My Score: 2 out of 5
Match #13: Julia Hart def. Madi Wrenkowski
My Thoughts: Madi Wrenkowski’s back on AEW doing her heel thing and against Hart it really worked. In fact this pairing both worked well together and Hart looked much better here than in her match against Shida on Elevation.
My Score: 2 out of 5
Match #14: The Blade def. Jake Tucker
My Thoughts: Jake Tucker the “Mother Lover” is back on AEW getting destroyed by The Blade in a squash match for the ages!
My Score: 1 out of 5
Match #15: Private Party def. Joeasa & Deonn Rusman
My Thoughts: As I’ve said before Private Party have, in my opinion, gone down hill since going the HFO. I know AEW have plenty of face tag teams so they need PP to work heel but it just doesn’t work for me. They still can wrestle though.
My Score: 2 out of 5
Match #16: Powerhouse Hobbs def. Travis Titan
My Thoughts: Can you can this a match? It was LITERALLY over before it began as Hobbs hit Titan before the bell and then hit the spinebuster finisher in LESS than 30 seconds!
My Score: 0 out of 5
Match #17: Gunn Club def. Cezar Bononi & JD Drake
My Thoughts: As usual I can’t get excited for Gunn Club matches… sadly even when the ever-awesome JD Drake is in the match too. In fact Drake, as always, was the highlight here too!
My Score: 2 out of 5
Match #18: Angelico def. Wheeler Yuta
My Thoughts: Wheeler Yuta is getting a swift push in AEW, even looking great in defeat. This was another evenly-matched affair, with Yuta managed to counter Angelico’s mat moves AND hittign some great highspots. This duo got a decent amount of time to show off and they did it so well. Shame Yuta didn’t get the win though.
My Score: 3 out of 5
News of the Night:
- Diamante cut a promo to start a feud with Big Swole
Final Verdict: 2/5
Overly long. Again. With matches that seemed to exist only to give AEW stars TV time. The main event was great, as was Dante Martin’s match (but when doesn’t he have good matches?). Otherwise this was a mixed bag.
