13th Jul2021

WWE Raw – July 12th 2021: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s WWE Monday Night Raw review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and Paul Orndorff has died. One of the great professional wresters, Orndorff wrestled all over the world and in many great territories and promotions. It would be in the World Wrestling Federation where Orndorff would become an international star when he became Hulk Hogan’s nemesis. Orndorff and Hogan would draw large enough gates to be the envy of any wrestler at any time with their main events for the World Title. Orndorff would acrue many injuries over the years that would lead to his body not being able to survive the damage that a match could do anymore. In retirement, Orndorff’s reputation as a tough customer would enhance his legacy and lead him to be seen as an icon of the old-school ways of the sport. Paul Orndorff: F–k you pussy! I won’t listen to this s–t anymore! I’m gonna kick your fruit-cake ass up and down this mother-f–ker! Me: Oh s–t! PO: Pow! Right in the kisser! Pow! Right in the kisser! Pow! Right in the kisser! Me: Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!! PO: Look! A dog just passed out in that doggie door! I’m gonna grab this cat and pull the dog in. Me: What? PO: Shut up, ass-brain! C’mon cat! Grab the dog! Do it you son of a bitch! Cat: Hssssss!!!!!!! PO: Shut the f–k up ass-hole! Ah! There you go. Now, this. (to dog) Well well well. Look what the cat dragged in! Me: That’s what you went to all that trouble for? PO: Blow me cream puff! Me: Ow! My badonkadonk! PO: Monday Night Raw starts now, you chicken-s–t mother-f–ker!

[Author’s Note: Riddle, who was accused of rape and found neither guilty or innocent in a court of law, is on this show and if that alarms or upsets you, then viewer discretion is advised].

Match #1: Xavier Woods def. Bobby Lashley

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Despite being infuriated over The New Day’s recent accusations that he has “gone soft” and absolutely dominating throughout most of the matchup, WWE Champion Bobby Lashley came up short against Xavier Woods. Woods used an inside cradle to stun The All Mighty just two days before his title fight against Kofi Kingston at WWE Money in the Bank.The All Mighty was furious as he stormed out of the ring without bothering to wait for MVP.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – Whew! This was intense. Woods clobbered ol Lashley as hard as Lashley smashed Woods harder than Velma did Scooby-F–kin’-Doo! Jinkies! That’s a massive c–k Scoob! Lashley played Woods like a drum as Woods fought from underneath to get a chunk of Lashley’s ass all for himself…the pervert. I loved that this was the way the match was worked. It was so refreshing to see Woods get taken seriously. Wait a minute…he won! I’m Wahoo Serious! Suck it you lilly-livered puke! It’s about damn time! What a match to win on! Woods finally got a major singles victory and it compliments him so well.

Match #2: Nikki A.S.H. def. Alexa Bliss, Asuka & Naomi in a Fatal 4-Way Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

En route to competing in Sunday’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match, Asuka, Nikki A.S.H., Naomi and Alexa Bliss battled in a Fatal 4-Way Match. Following an earlier altercation on Alexa’s Playground, though, Eva Marie and Doudrop emerged. When Bliss turned her attention toward Eva, Doudrop attacked Little Miss Bliss from behind and tossed the twisted Superstar over the barricade. In the wake of the assault, Alexa was nowhere to be found. With three competitors remaining, Nikki A.S.H. overcame Asuka with a quick pin for a monumental win heading into the Money in the Bank Ladder Match.

The Verdict: 3 out of 10 – It was not much in the way of a cohesive match, but Nikki won a match where not a lot happened. Eva Marie and Doudrop attacked Alexa Bliss and that angle took up most of the match. We were lucky to get any action. At least Nikki won the match. Why is Asuka getting wasted again? Damn.

Match #3: Ivar def. AJ Styles

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

One week before The Viking Raiders’ Raw Tag Team Title Match against AJ Styles & Omos, Ivar scored a major victory against The Phenomenal One when he flattened his opponent into the canvas.

The Verdict: 5 out of 10 – It was short, but it was also sweet. AJ put over Ivar and made his brutal offense look devastating. This was just fine for a the few minutes it was here for.

Match #4: Omos def. Erik

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

In the second matchup between the tag teams, Styles’ own personal colossus earned a win ahead of next week’s Raw Tag Team Title Match when he hurled Erik nearly through the canvas to score the three-count in his first singles Raw matchup.

The Verdict: 5 out of 10 – Erik carried an increasingly adept Omos through a quick fight that both men looked quite good in. You get some excellent bear-hugs from Omos that Erik sold like an earth-quake. I had a good time here. Cool.

Match #5: Sheamus def. Humberto Carrillo – WWE US Title Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After attacking Humberto Carrillo backstage before the match and delivering a follow-up Brogue Kick to his war-torn challenger seconds after the opening bell, Sheamus retained his United States Title.

The Verdict: 1 out of 10 – It was a squash match. S–t.

Match #6: Ricochet def. John Morrison – Falls Count Anywhere Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Although Ricochet and Riddle were soaked backstage with a dripstick assault courtesy of The Miz and John Morrison, Morrison was all wet in the culmination of an absolutely vicious Falls Count Anywhere Match that stretched outside the ring and all the way to the backstage area. Ricochet overcame his adversary in gravity-defying fashion by delivering a splash from the top turnbuckle as Morrison laid on a ladder outside the ring.

The Verdict: 8 out of 10 – Whew! These guys had a home run here. This was a match that went all over the arena, but didn’t abuse the stipulation itself. There’d be a bump in the ring and then out, but it was more than just a bump here and there. These guys were always trying to get a fall wherever they could. They would twist each other to secure a fall and when it would fail, they would go back to work looking for another chance to achieve victory. The methodology of this bout was outstanding. The finish was just what it should have been and the spectacle of seeing the ladder crash actually end the bout was a hell of a way to sell the power of the ladded for the Money In The Bank Pay Per View.

Match #7: (Main Event) Rhea Ripley def. Natalya

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Raw Women’s Champion Rhea Ripley reigned supreme over WWE Women’s Tag Team Champion Natalya with the Riptide. Before The Nightmare could celebrate, however, Charlotte Flair attacked and locked in the excruciating Figure Eight while stretching The Nightmare over the ring apron.

The Verdict: 6 out of 10 – This served as a sweet little tease of the kind of action that these two gals can really deliver with each other. Rhea clobbered ol Natalya for a few minutes and Natalya countered her until she couldn’t anymore. It wasn’t the match of the show, but it was a fine part of that show.

Final Verdict: 5/10

On a show where Bobby Lashley was allowed to cast away the stagnancy of the cocky champion and become the killer again, we had middling build toward this Sunday’s Money In The Bank PPV that was just enough to get the job done. A few surprise booking decisions made this show fun and we had a couple of great matches to compliment that fact. Okay. I’ll see you next time.

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