12th Jul2021

‘Ring of Honor’ Wrestling Review (July 3rd 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Ring Of Honor review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have my return to reviewing ROH. We’ve got two big matches to get to so…what the… [Phukkunntorr] – I am Phukkuntorr! I am the Ceeman Master! [Me] – What? [Phukkunntorr] – I am… [Me] – Stop talking. Change your name and what you are the master of. [Phukkuntorr] – Why should I, mortal?! [Me] – Just…just trust me. It…it doesn’t sound right. [Phukkunntorr] – I… [Me] – …can go now. [Phukkunntorr] – I… [Me] – …am leaving. Yes. I know. Bye bye. [Phukkunntorr] – Damn it. [Me] – Well, it’s time for wrestling. We’ve got a Pure Title match that, on paper, is a dream match, and a Fight On The Farm Match between The Briscoe Brothers. Okay. Here we go.

Match #1: Jonathan Gresham b. Fred Yehi – ROH Pure Title Match

The following is courtesy of rohwrestling.com:

Mike Bennett, who will face the winner of this match for the championship at the Best in the World pay-per-view on July 11, sat in on commentary. This match was a stalemate throughout, as Gresham and Yehi put on a Pure wrestling clinic. There were rapid-fire holds, counters and pinning combinations, but neither man could sustain the advantage. Tempers began to flare, as both men rubbed their forearms in the other’s face. After getting Gresham down on the mat, Yehi twice tried to stomp on him, but Gresham rolled out of the way. Gresham took Yehi down with an armdrag and rolled though into a crucifix for the win in 12:16.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – This match didn’t get great until the second half. That’s the best way to put this. Now, the first half was sound grappling, but it wasn’t beautiful music. Yehi and Gresham actually struggled a little bit, if only in getting their grappling to do more than just get from one place to the next. In that respect, this match was initially a disappointment. However, once this got around the eight minute mark, the match became what it should have been. The technical fighting soon gained the right kind of…oh God… [Kamikaze Pilot] – Yamakazaaaaaaa! [Me] – Ahhhhh!!!!!!! [Kamikaze Pilot] – Yamaha Nagasaki Hyundai Toyotaaaaaaa! [Me] – Oh s—t! Ummmm…this match was really getting somewhere when it ended rather abruptly…like this f—kin’ review! Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!! I don’t wanna die in a plane crash! It wasn’t the masterpiece that I hoped for, but it was excellent wrestling none the less. Now…I have to run. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!! [Kamikaze Pilot] – Mada Fakaaaaaaa!!!!!!

Match #2: (Main Event) – Jay Briscoe vs. Mark Briscoe – Fight On The Farm (Double Forfeit)

The following is courtesy of rohwrestling.com:

The brother versus brother match was ordered by Papa Briscoe, who wants his sons to fight out their problems so that they can get back on the same page and resume their tag team. With Papa Briscoe overseeing things, the fight started in the ring inside a warehouse on the family farm. Mark gained the upper hand and set up for a moonsault, but Jay knocked him off the top rope and Mark flipped through the air and crashed through a table set up outside the ring. Jay dragged Mark out of the warehouse and the fight continued outside. Jay remained on the offensive until Mark stopped him with a low blow. Mark suplexed Jay through a wooden board that was lodged between a pickup truck and a stock tank. Mark climbed on the roof of an RV and prepared to jump off onto Jay, but Jay got up and joined Mark on the roof. After they exchanged punches, Jay threw Mark off the roof onto a tarp below. Jay tossed Mark into the back of the pickup truck and drove to another part of the farm. When Jay exited the truck, Mark was no longer in the back. Mark appeared out of nowhere and knocked down Jay. Mark then grabbed a noose, put it around Jay’s neck and began choking him. Mark set up a table and placed Jay on it. Mark climbed on the roof of a building and dove off onto Jay. With both men down, Papa Briscoe helped them back to the warehouse and into the ring where the match began. Jay and Mark exchanged a flurry of hard punches and forearms. After one final clothesline from Mark, both men were spent. Papa Briscoe asked them if they were good yet, and they both replied that they were. Papa Briscoe said it’s now time to get back to business and being the baddest tag team on the planet.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – Of all the dumb movie matches that have been done, this was the least stupid and most interesting. This was wrestled like a normal brawl, but on their farm. These guys… [Jay Briscoe] – Hey b—ch! Move that ass out the way! We gon’ talk this match up! [Mark Briscoe] – Eric Carmen a c—t! [JB] – We fought all over this b—ch! Dip-s—t came up on me with a damn ladder and plywood! [MB] – Wakakakakakakakaka!!!!!!!!! [JB] – Said that s—t the whole damn time! Da’ f—k that s—t s’posta mean?! [MB] – Lemme bemme bosusu soswammmmmmma!!!!!!! [JB] – That’s seizure talk! Y’all in wit da Devil! [MB] – Wakakakakakakakakaka!!!!!!!! [JB] – Da f—k away from me boy! I ain’t no jitter-ass Satan b—ch! [MB] – We clotheslined each other all over the damn yard boy! [JB] – Hell yeah we did! We jumped off of the barn, the… [MB] – The RV! [JB] – Didn’t jump off the damn RV! You threw me off it, ya ass-hole! [MB] – Wakakakakakakaka!!!!!!!! [JB] – Didn’t know you read Faulkner. [MB] – Daddy kept tryin’ ta git us ta cut the bull-s—t! [JB] – We whipped each other’s asses for ‘bout a half a hour. We had a makeshift ring in the barn and we beat the s—t out of each other all over the damn farm. I put you in the truck to bury yo ass in horse-s—t… [MB] – …but…but I trickedededed you and jumped yo ass by sneakin’ off that truck! [JB] – Yeah boy! You got my ass! Son of a b—ch! [MB] – Her name is Carol! [JB] – Daddy got us back in the ring and we smacked the s—t out of each other until we both forfeited the match. Then, we picked up our s—t. [MB] – Wakakakakakaka!!!!!!!! [JB] – You f—ked my sister! [MB] – She’s my momma too! Wakakakakakakakaka!!!!!!!!! [JB] – They you go! Dis damn match was two brothas fightin’ like mad and makin’ up, ‘cuz we love each othah! [MB] – Wakakakakakakakaka!!!!!!!!!

Final Verdict: 7/10

This was an easy score. Two seven matches on a show that was kept simple led to a show that was just as such. I had fun. I’ll see you next week.

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