09th Jul2021

‘AEW Dynamite: Road Rager’ Review (July 7th 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel, it’s Road Rager and we have jack-s–t. The guide says nothing is happening. What kind of a f–kin’ show has nothing on it?! This s–t ain’t Seinfeld mother-f–ker! [Brian Pillman] – It’s a Festivus for the rest of us! [Me] – Oh s–t. {Stone Cold Steve Austin] – Want some poopcorn asshole?! [BP] – Mammy! [Me] – What the f–k?! [Mammy] – Wanna piece of pie? [Me] – What? [General Eesemo] – Pie! Do you eat it?! [Me] – Cherry? [GE] – P–sy! [Me] – Okay. That’s enough. We’ve got some matches…hopefully. Please God let there be matches. Road Rager? Sounds like a 90 mile an hour boner that already blew half the wad at the truck stop. Okay. I’m ready to see what happens.

[Author’s Note: Darby Allin, who has been accused of rape and not found guilty or innocent in a court of law, is on this show and if that alarms of upsets you, then viewer discrestion is advised].

Match #1: Cody Rhodes def. QT Marshall – South Beach Strap Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

The first man to touch all four corners of the ring consecutively wins the match. Cody didn’t waste any time and jumped onto QT with a tope suicida! Ref Paul Turner connected the strap to both men and the bell rang to start the match. Cody powerslammed QT Marshall! QT Marshall attempted a moonsault, but Cody countered by whipping QT right in the abdomen. Aaron Solow took advantage of the no DQ aspect of this match and hit Cody with some offense. Dustin Rhodes ran down to even up the odds. Dustin began to brawl with Aaron Solow, and they fought up the arena steps, away from the ring. QT German suplexed Cody right on the back of his head and shoulders. QT tried to use the strap to pull Cody headfirst into the steel ring post, but Cody countered it. QT’s forehead was busted wide open in the process! The two competitors fought on the top turnbuckle. QT countered a hurracanrana from Cody with a top rope powerbomb! QT smacked the first turnbuckle…and then a second corner turnbuckle. Cody, on spaghetti legs, tried to stop QT’s progress. QT wrapped up Cody with the strap and connected with a diamond cutter on Cody Rhodes! Ref Paul Turner waved off QT’s progress before QT was able to finish the match by touching the fourth and final corner turnbuckle. Cody fired back with a pump kick and then leg scissors. He began to whip QT Marshall like a government mule! Cody connected with a springboard “Cody Cutter” on QT in the center of the ring! QT spit at Cody and Cody answered with a trifecta of Cross Rhodes! Cody proceeded to touch all four corners and won the strap match!

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – This was a pretty snappy sort of Strap Match. I liked how brisk and tightly competed this was. There were no lulls in the action. I won’t say that these guys had the great brawl here, but they did make this into a fight. It really felt like these guys had a grudge against each other here. Something to consider here is that this was a one of those Strap Matches where you have to touch all four corners to get the victory. Screw pinning the schmuck! Who needs a real win?! I wanna touch a f–kin’ corner! Okay. This was Friday night at Kevin Spacey’s house and a good match.

Match #2: The Pinnacle def. The Inner Circle

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Santana used a double leg to take down Harwood. He hit Harwood with the two snap suplexes and then a release German suplex! Ortiz tagged in and used a Northern Lights suplex on Harwood for a near fall. “Mr. Mayhem” Wardlow tagged in and rammed Ortiz with shoulders in the corner. Harwood tagged back in, but Ortiz caught him with a back heel trip and then a Liger Bomb! Jake Hager tagged in and blasted Wheeler with a Hager Bomb! Cash kicked Ortiz in the stomach but then The Pinnacle hit triple team offense on Cash! Finally FTR went to work on Ortiz with their refined tag team maneuvers. Ortiz countered with a brain buster on Harwood and then tagged Hager. Jake Hager was looking for the ankle lock on Cash Wheeler but Dax “the Ax” broke it up. Dax ate a big boot from Hager for his troubles. Hager allowed Wardlow to tag in. Hager rolled through and tried for the ankle lock on Wardlow, but FTR pinned Hager after the Big Rig (thanks to Tully Blanchard’s distraction). Konnan came in and blasted Wardlow with the mad ball sock! Then Tully Blanchard clipped Konnan from behind with a chop block!

The Verdict: 6 out of 10 – This was a house show match that packed a wallop in some places. There’s no great technical feast to be had in here anywhere, nor any great action sequence, but since we had logical tags made at the right time, it was a uniform match that didn’t get wrinkled by wrinkles. If you want a tag bout between two factions where the factions looked like they hated each other, then you will get what you are looking for.

Match #3: Andrade El Idolo def. Matt Sydal

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Andrade El Idolo was making his AEW in-ring debut… Andrade El Idolo blasted Matt with a twisting brain buster! Andrade El Idolo transitioned from a moonsault press into a standing moonsault press onto Matt Sydal! Sydal swept out the leg of Andrade El Idolo and then caught him with a roundhouse kick! Matt Sydal climbed to the top rope, but Andrade El Idolo ran and knocked him off, sending Sydal crashing to the arena floor. Andrade El Idolo picked up Sydal and dropped him hard across the ring apron. Sydal rallied back with more roundhouse kicks to Andrade El Idolo and then a leaping knee strike! Andrade El Idolo decked Sydal and turned him inside out with a lariat! Andrade El Idolo trapped Sydal’s legs underneath the top turnbuckle and tried a double foot stop but Sydal escaped. Sydal hit Andrade El Idolo with meteora! Andrade El Idolo fought back with driving knees. He planted Sydal with El Idolo and then pinned him!

The Verdict: 5 out of 10 – There wasn’t a false move in here, but the moves didn’t morph into a great match. That being said, the match itself was a fun demo reel for what Andrade can do with the leash off. The former La Sombra brought back his incredible athleticism and made great use of it. Sydal had a great time working with someone as limber and daring as he. Yet, this was not a match that quite worked as well as it should have. Maybe the lack of a solid grappling session at the beginning limited what this match could do in the long run? Maybe the time allotted just wasn’t enough to allow a mark to be made by the match? No matter what killed this match’s momentum, at least it was impressive for those of us who enjoy great feats of skill and precision.

Match #4: Orange Cassidy/Kris Statlander def. The Blade/The Bunny

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

The Bunny tried to tag a swipe at Orange Cassidy, but he put his hands in his pockets. She quickly grew frustrated and tagged to The Blade. Cassidy attempted the Beach Break, but The Blade countered it. Cassidy came back with a Stun dog Millionaire. The Bunny tagged in and nailed Kris with a knee lift. Kris rallied back with a powerslam to The Bunny. Statlander showed off her power with a delayed vertical suplex on The Bunny! The Blade grabbed Statlander’s boot from outside the ring, which allowed enough time for The Bunny to hit “The Galaxy’s Greatest Alien” from behind. The Bunny German suplexed Statlander off the ropes. Orange Cassidy flew off the top rope and then hit the DDT on The Blade for a near fall! Kris Statlander splashed The Blade with Area 451! The Bunny slid brass knuckles to The Blade and he then KO’ed Orange with them. Statlander ran in and dropped The Bunny with the Big Bang Theory to score the victory!

The Verdict: 4 out of 10 – There’s some crisp bumps taken here to go with the efficient tags, but this was mostly just OC doing his routine and Kris hitting people. I can’t say that this was some masterpiece, but i can’t say that it was dog-s–t either. There was good match in here somewhere, but it got trampled under foot by this match’s need to get to the finish line before the race was over. They can’t all place first, can they?

Match #5: (Main Event) The Young Bucks def. Eddie Kingston/Penta El Zero Miedo – Street Fight Match For The AEW World Tag Team Titles

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Kingston and Penta El Zero Miedo brawled with The Bucks outside the ring. Kingston was wearing a Terry Funk T-shirt. Back in the ring, Brandon Cutler tried to fend off Penta El Zero Miedo and Eddie Kingston with the cold freeze, but The Bucks ambushed them from behind. Kingston and Penta El Zero Miedo fought back with tremendous tandem offense. Penta El Zero Miedo and Eddie Kingston pulled out tables from underneath the ring. Nick Jackson powerbombed Kingston onto the table in the ring. Penta El Zero Miedo rocked Matt Jackson with a Destroyer on the table outside the ring! Nick Jackson flattened a trashcan on Kingston with a senton atomico! Penta El Zero Miedo snuck in with a sling blade on Nick Jackson and then one on Matt Jackson! Matt countered a DDT from Penta El Zero Miedo with a Northern Lights Suplex! The Bucks double-teamed Eddie Kingston. Eddie Kingston fought out of the corner with a half and half on Matt Jackson. Kingston locked in a rear naked choke. Nick Jackson smacked ref Rick Knox with a 450 splash! The Good Brothers took advantage of the opportunity and double-teamed Kingston. Brandon Cutler tried to interfere but “The Elite Hunter” Frankie Kazarian powerbombed him through a table on the outside. Penta El Zero Miedo used the Fear Factor and Kingston covered Matt Jackson for a near fall. Kazarian was taken out by a Magic Killer from Gallows and Anderson! Eddie Kingston opened a bag of thumbtacks and spilled them onto the mat. Penta El Zero Miedo walloped Matt Jackson with a trashcan! Nick Jackson and Penta El Zero Miedo battled on the top turnbuckle! Nick Jackson brought down Penta El Zero Miedo with a hurracanrana onto the thumb tacks! The Bucks superkicked Kingston! Nick Jackson stuffed thumbtacks into Kingston’s mouth and then Matt superkicked Kingston. Matt Jackson pinned Kingston to retain the titles!

The Verdict: 6 out of 10 – This was a fun plunder brawl, but that’s it. I really wanted to like this more than i did, but I just got bored by it. Apart from some of the more daring stunts, this left me out in the cold and I was freezing. It never felt like a prize fight. It’s a shame that this was so lame in spirit, because the body gave quite a bit in the name of entertainment. There were times this did feel like a fight, but never the grudge match that this was likely meant to be. The Bucks just come across as a lame indy wrestling act that can’t figure things our. It seems like just yesterday that The Bucks were really firing on all cylinders, but this heel turn has just brought all of that to a screeching halt. It never felt like the champs were trying to win, so much as just dry hump their challengers into a coma. I felt like this was better on paper than in practice.

Major News:

  1. The crowds are back and they made the show better than it had a right to be.
  2. Tommy End (f.k.a. Aleister Black) debuted as Malakai Black and attacked Arn Anderson, followed by Cody Rhodes.
  3. Jon Moxley will defend the IWGP US Title against Karl Anderson.
  4. Chris Jericho must run a multi-week gauntlet of the entire Pinnacle faction to get to MJF, who will also pick the stipulation for each match.
  5. Kenny Omega brawled with Adam Page to build toward a title match between the two.
  6. Ricky Starks will fight Brian Cage for the FTW Title.
  7. Christian Cage will fight Matt Hardy.
  8. Ethan Page and Darby Allin had a promo to build toward their Coffin Match.
  9. Sammy Guevara attacked Shawn Spears to continue their feud.

Final Verdict: 6/10

This was run-of-the-mill, but the crowd gave it life. As a spectacle this worked. The crowd made the big moments bigger and saved the bad ones from being a death sentence. It was fun, if only because the fans were excited to be there. I’ll see you next time.

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