22nd Apr2021

‘AEW: Dynamite’ Review (Apr 21st 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s AEW: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and I’m chit. I’m a chitty person. I smell like chit. I eat chit. I f–k like chit. My wife says doing me is chitty…a chitty chitty bang bang. Dick Van Dyke should have two-thirds of his name censored. What kind of chitty world is it when Dick Van Dyke is allowed to run around without a censor bar around his body? Lionel Jefferies: A flying motor car! Me: Shut up, chit-head! Lionel Jefferies: Aw! Gablime! Me: You talk like chit! You got chit in your mouth?! Lionel Jefferies: A flying motor car! Me: Stop saying that! Lionel Jefferies: A flying motor car! Me: Shut the f–k up! What the… Chitty Chitty Bang Bang: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang! Chitty Chitty Bang Bang! Chitty Chitty Bang Bang! Me: What did you call me?! Did you talk to my wife?! Lionel Jefferies: A flying motor car! Me: Blow it out your ass, Grampa Joe! NXT starts…I mean AEW…God damn it! Lionel Jefferies: A flying motor car! Me: Did you mother have any kids that lived?! Lionel Jefferies: No! Me: Dynamite starts… Lionel Jefferies: A flying motor car! Me: You ruined my ending! I’ll kill you! John Coffey: Let me honk yo balls boy an’ I make it right. Me: Who the f–k are you?!

[Author’s Note: Darby Allin, who is featured in the main event, has been accused of rape. Allin has not been found guilty or innocent in a court of law. If the presence of Darby Allin alarms or upsets you, then viewer discretion is advised].

Match #1: Adam Page def. Ricky Starks

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

This was the first-ever singles match between Page and Starks. Starks tried for head scissors and then swung at Page; “Hangman” responded with a boot to Starks. Page plucked Starks out of midair (and an attempted leap frog) and slammed him. Page swung for the fences and dropped Starks with a clothesline and then a crossbody block over the top rope to the outside, folding up Starks like an accordion! Back in the ring, Page used a fallaway slam for a near fall on Ricky Starks. Starks stepped out of the way and forced Page to collide with the bottom rope. Starks used a hard hammer throw into the turnbuckles, and then a forearm shiver across Page’s spine. Page tried a belly to back suplex but Starks avoided disaster by landing on his feet. Starks attempted a springing clothesline but Page countered with a clothesline. Starks may have tweaked his ankle in the process. Page connected with a brainbuster for a two-count on Starks. Starks came out of nowhere with a sit-down Liger Bomb on Page. Starks positioned himself on the top turnbuckle but Page met him up there and brought Starks crashing to the mat with an avalanche fallaway slam. He smashed Starks with another lariat. Starks dodged the Buckshot Lariat and speared Page for a near fall! Starks attempted another Liger Bomb but Page used a standing switch and flipped Starks over. “Hangman” Page took advantage of Starks’ injured ankle and then submitted Starks! After the match, Taz distracted Page while Hook used a chop block on “Hangman” Adam Page. Starks and Hook clubbed Page with forearms. “The Machine” Brian Cage came to the ring to join Team Taz but then The Dark Order sprinted down to come to the aid of their friend “Hangman” Adam Page!

The Score: 7 out of 10

Match #2: Penta El Zero Miedo def. Trent?

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Penta El Zero Miedo was in control of Trent’s arm at the start of the match, but Trent grappled his opponent down with a headlock. Penta El Zero Miedo removed his glove and threw it at Trent. Penta El Zero Miedo chopped away at Trent’s chest. Trent ran into the ropes and then used high knees to take down Penta El Zero Miedo. Trent dropped his opponent with a stiff clothesline, and then used a tope con hilo to drive Penta El Zero Miedo to the arena floor! Jim Ross questioned Trent’s high risk offense, since Trent just returned from rehabbing an injury. Trent attempted a spinning DDT but Penta El Zero Miedo moved and used a sling blade clothesline. Trent escaped a package piledriver and used an elbow shot with Penta El Zero Miedo—and he found his mark with a swinging DDT. Penta El Zero Miedo retaliated with a vicious destroyer! Trent grabbed on with a half and half suplex and then blasted Penta El Zero Miedo with a running knee strike! Penta El Zero Miedo hit a thrust kick and then a backstabber on Trent, but Trent kicked out at the two-count. Penta El Zero Miedo planted Trent with a pump powerbomb-suplex combo. Penta El Zero Miedo tried a package piledriver on the apron but Trent escaped and used a piledriver of his own on Pent El Zero Miedo! Trent speared Penta El Zero Miedo on the outside! Alex Abrahantes grabbed a microphone and distracted Trent. “Penta says your momma sucks,” said Alex. After more interference, Penta El Zero Miedo clocked Trent with a microphone and then used the package piledriver to pin Trent!

The Score: 7 out of 10

Match #3: Hikaru Shida def. Tay Conti – AEW Women’s Title Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Excalibur noted that there is a ton of mutual respect between the champion and the challenger alike. Excalibur said Shida was the pandemic champion and was fighting to defend her title in front of a packed arena. Shida has 333 days as champion. Shida and Tay bowed to one another before the match. They locked up and Tay Conti ducked a clean shot from Shida. Tay Conti replied with a stiff forearm, and then another to Shida. And then Shida got the upper hand in the slugfest with strikes and knees. Tay Conti blocked a judo throw from Shida and then flipped Shida to the mat with her own judo throw. Conti nailed Shida with two knees to the jaw! Tay Conti’s Brazilian Jiu jitsu was on display but Shida rolled to the outside. Shida swept out Tay’s legs and then used her trademark running knee on the challenger. Shida rocked Tay with a brainbuster on the outside! Shida tried to submit Tay with a bow and arrow. Shida transitioned over with a camel clutch, and then she repeatedly smacked Tay’s head into the mat. Shida positioned Tay onto the turnbuckles and suplexed her. Tay blasted Shida with a thrust kick, and then grabbed Shida’s wrist and walloped her with judo throws and a running boot! Conti connected with a senton off the spine of the champion for a near fall! Shida rocked Conti with a knee strike and then a falcon arrow, but Tay Conti kicked out before the three count! They went up to the top rope and Shida got the better of Conti with “the Witch’s Shot”! Shida looked for the katana but Tay rolled through and then caught Shida with the Tay-KO! Shida kicked out! Shida countered the DD-Tay! Shida blocked a kick from Tay and dropped her in a backbreaker. Shida followed up with the katana for the pin! Dr. Britt Baker walked out onto the ramp at the end of the match, and it was revealed she is now the #1 ranked contender. Shida launched her kendo stick at her and Baker moved out of the way.

The Score: 8 out of 10

Match #4: QT Marshall def. Billy Gunn

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Billy Gunn punished QT with heavy right hands at the start of the match. He Irish whipped QT Marshall and sent him flying to the outside of the ring. Gunn pancaked QT spine-first on the ring apron. Nick Comoroto and Aaron Solow approached Billy Gunn, and then Nick rammed Billy into the ring post! Austin and Colten Gunn jumped the rail and brawled with The Factory on the outside of ring! Back in the ring, QT connected with forearms and then a massive piledriver on Billy Gunn for a near fall! Billy Gunn rallied back with big right hands! Billy countered the diamond cutter. As the referee was distracted by QT, Anthony Ogogo ran out and waffled Billy with the bolo punch. QT finished the match after a diamond cutter. Anthony Ogogo handed QT a chair, but before QT could use it on Billy, “The Natural” Dustin Rhodes ran out to the ring with a bull rope! Dustin hammered away at QT and then powerslammed him! Ogogo rolled up his sleeves and distracted Dustin while Nick Comoroto jumped into the ring. Dustin smashed the wooden folding chair over Nick Comoroto’s head, and Nick barely budged!

The Score: 2 out of 10

Match #5: Christian Cage def. Powerhouse Hobbs

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Taz joined the commentary team again for this match. Taz noted that his team had been banned from ringside for what happened earlier tonight. Taz said next week “Hangman” Adam Page will have to face “The Machine” Brian Cage in the ring! There was a collar and elbow tie up. Hobbs backed Christian Cage into the corner turnbuckle. They locked up again and Christian Cage was muscled to the floor of the ramp. Christian Cage got behind Hobbs but Hobbs powered out and then slammed Christian Cage to the mat. Christian Cage backed Hobbs back to the barricade with a diving dropkick. Hobbs launched Christian Cage over the barricade. Christian Cage attempted for the Kill Switch back in the ring, but Hobbs muscled out of that! Hobbs whipped Christian Cage across the ring and then stepped on him with all of his weight. Hobbs went for a splash but Christian Cage was ready for him, lifting up his knees in defense. Christian Cage used a pendulum kick and then a diving uppercut for a near fall on Hobbs. Hobbs used a spinebuster and then Christian Cage connected with a back elbow. Christian Cage powerbombed Hobbs from the corner and then smashed down with a frog splash! Hobbs kicked out and squashed Christian Cage with a hip attack splash. Christian Cage jumped on Hobbs’ back and was trying for a sleeper but Cage rammed Hobbs into the turnbuckle after a stampede. Christian Cage picked up the victory after the Kill Switch! Ricky Starks ran down to check on Hobbs, and Christian Cage stared down Starks as Cage left the ring.

The Score: 6 out of 10

Match #6: (Main Event) Darby Allin def. Jungle Boy – TNT Title Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Jungle Boy backed Darby into the turnbuckles. Darby reversed positioning and walked to the center of the ring. Darby used a leg sleep and then Jungle Boy bridged out of it. Jungle Boy hooked Darby with a crucifix but the champ escaped. Darby took down Jungle Boy with a fireman’s takeover. Jungle Boy quickly came back and was searching for the snare trap but Darby was having none of it. They went to the outside and began to brawl. Jungle Boy grabbed Darby and rammed him into the steel barricade, and then both toppled over it to the other side. Jungle Boy turned Darby inside out with a belly to back suplex and then a tiger suplex for a near fall! Darby came over the top and blasted Jungle Boy with an amazing stunner! Darby sprinted and used his full body to splash Jungle Boy, but then Jungle Boy sent Darby on the back of his head with reverse scissors. He followed up with two tope suicidas. Darby used a guillotine over the top rope out of desperation, making it a dirty fight, playing into his strengths. Darby sandwiched Jungle Boy with a Coffin Drop on the ring apron! Luchasaurus helped Jungle Boy back into the ring with a bit of a boost. Sting walked onto the ramp and had words for Luchasaurus. Sting and Luchasaurus began to brawl and fought through the tunnel. Jungle Boy decimated Darby with a brainbuster but Darby kicked out! Jungle Boy locked in the snare trap! Darby Allin was fading fast! Darby willed himself to the bottom rope, forcing the ref to break the hold. Jungle Boy punished Darby with the Romero Special. He locked in the snare trap again but Darby escaped again after yanking the hair of his opponent. Out of nowhere, Darby countered a sunset flip with the Last Supper and pinned Jungle Boy! And still TNT Champion…Darby Allin! Scorpio Sky and Ethan Page rushed the ring and assaulted Darby Allin with kicks and then the Ego’s Edge. “The MurderHawk Monster” Lance Archer came to the aid of Darby Allin but he was stopped with a low blow. Sting returned with a baseball bat and Scorpio Sky and Ethan Page retreated to the outside!

The Score: 7 out of 10

Final Verdict: 7/10

AEW had a pretty good show here. The card was tantalizing on paper and fairly satisfying in practice. I’d say that the middle of the show was rather weak, whereas the beginning and end of the show was where the action was. While having two prize fights on one show worked out well here, the way these fights were promoted you could hardly be expected to have even known they were coming. AEW isn’t very good at building anticipation for these big matches and that takes a lot of the luster out of these bouts. Hell, the appearances of Sting and Christian Cage already feel unimportant, as neither man is being presented as special. Christian is only a few matches into his AEW run and he already feels like yesterday’s news. At least his TNA run didn’t fizzle out until after he loat his first match two years into the run. Adam beat Ricky, but since neither man has been promoted as a big deal in months, it just felt like a mid-carder beating a curtain jerker for no reason. Why is it that only three people want to be World Champion on this show? Miro cut his promo on being a champion, but not necessarily the World Champion. Then, Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston ran their truck into The Elite’s trailer, because ripping off one of the dumber angles that Monday Night Raw ever did is definitely keeping in line with Tony Khan’s insistence that AEW is being promoted as sports-centric. The Penta/Trent? bout got ruined by a dumb angle that saw Penta’s manager grab a mic and insult Trent’s mom to distract him. The Inner Circle and The Pinnacle traded promos just to remind us all that AEW is sports-centric. Finally, we got a Jade Cargill promo talking about wanting a great offer from a manager. Oh. Ethan Page and Scorpio Sky attacked…Darby Allin? I think that’s who. Sting crawled with every-body and…yeah. That was a of to write down. All this story s–t was a waste of time. It didn’t make me wanna watch this show anymore than they already. You know what made me wanna watch this show next week? We had several excellent matches that were fun to watch. I’ll come back next week to see the next set of matches while hoping that they are good as well. Wrestling gets new fans when the matches are good. That’s why you hire talented people. You need good matches to sell to viewers and talented wrestlers wrestle good matches. The only story to tell in wrestling is the one that happens after the bell rings. The fact that most of these wrestlers are not talking about being World Champion is indicative of how far from the finish line this league actually is. Okay. I’m done. I’ll see you next week.

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