‘AEW: Dynamite’ Review (Mar 24th 2021)

Welcome to this week’s AEW: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we’ve got some big matches here to…what the… Gizmo: NYANSGSAHSJ! Me: Hey! The gremlin! Gizmo: Bayonga! Me: What did you call me? Baby Yoda: Wah! Me: Danny Devito? Rod Serling: Imagine if you will, a moron with a job to do and two midgets who are so cute that Kevin Spacey decides to bang them on Jeffery Epstein’s pervo island. Me: Hey! It’s Tony Randall! Let’s kick his ass! Rod Serling: What the f–k?! Gizmo: Gobaga! Baby Yoda: Wah! RS: Stay back! I’ve got…water! (Gizmo splashed with water) Gizmo: Ah! BY: Ah! James Brown: Uhh! Me: James Brown? JB: Samasondasee! Doobadabadee! Gammanabamanwammanheh! Ha ha ha ha ha! Me: Gizmo! You okay? (little balls of fur shoot out) What the… Tom Cruise as Austin Powers: Yeah baby! BY: Wah! JB: Pahmoooooond! Shabadatabadwabadama! Ha ha ha! Me: Let’s dance! Kenny Loggins: Footloose! Footloose! Kick off ya Sunday shoes! Reach! Oh reach! ‘Round ta my c–k you’ll reach! JB: Ebbay dubbay gobba Fahboose! Me: Okay! While this ecstasy wears off, why don’t we get started?

[Author’s Note: The following review has a wrestler named Darby Allin who has been accused of sexual misconduct. Mr. Allin has neither been found innocent or guilty of the crimes which he has been accused of. If the presence of the aforementioned offends you, then viewer discretion is advised]

Match #1: Kenny Omega def. Matt Sydal

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Omega got Sydal in a wristlock and then paint brushed Sydal’s head, mocking the challenger. Omega dropped Sydal with a back elbow, slowing down the pace. Omega chopped at Sydal and tried to body slam him but Sydal escaped and countered, sending Omega for a powder break outside the ring. Omega returned to the ring and they locked up in a Greco Roman knuckle lock. Omega kicked Sydal in the midsection. Matt Sydal retaliated with kicks and then a standing moonsault press for a near fall on Omega! He charged into the corner unleashing a vicious knee strike on Omega. The champ knocked Sydal inside out with a lariat. Omega planted Sydal on the ring apron! He followed up with a mean backbreaker on Sydal. Sydal rattled Omega with a leg lariat and then a brain buster for a very near fall. Sydal attempted a top rope hurracanrana but Omega countered, dropping Sydal down hard below onto the turnbuckles. Omega hit a snapdragon suplex! Somehow Sydal snuck in a lightning spiral, folding up Omega like an accordion, but the champ kicked out at the two-count! Matt Sydal attempted the meteora but Omega countered with two V-Triggers! Sydal kicked out and went searching for a shooting star press, but Omega swiped at the ropes and knocked Sydal off balance. Omega had enough and after another V-Trigger and then the One-Winged Angel, the champ pinned Matt Sydal!

The Score: 8 out of 10

• The Good: Woo! This was right off to a great start and stayed there. Oh my Lord…Larry Storch. Omega and Sydal is as easy a pairing to imagine being successful as you can get in this day and age. These guys and their kinetic style of fighting just blends together so well. Both men just kept diving back into the fray like their lives depended on it. One incredible strike after the other punctuated the statement that was this crippling grappling match.
• The Bad: Sydal always felt less than Omega here. He was presented as another guy and it hurt the match. Sydal never felt as wily as he has in matches where he is seen as the star or on equal footing with one.
• The Verdict: This was a hell of an opener that had a deflated ending, but was still a wonderful bout.

Match #2: Adam Page def. Cezar Bononi

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Page hit Bononi with a high boot! “Hangman” tried to follow up by jumping over the top strand and down onto Bononi outside the ring, but Bononi caught him and slammed him onto the ring apron! “Hangman” tried to slam Bononi but Bononi blocked it and tossed Page halfway across the ring! Page took Bononi over the top with a high collar suplex and then finished it up with the Buckshot Lariat, pinning the big man!

The Score: 3 out of 10

• The Good: First of all, Cezar is trying to get his relative a bone marrow transplant from another relative and the US Embassy of Brazil is giving him runaround. If you know of anyone that can help him, consider telling him. I can’t think of anything. I hope it comes through for him in time. As for this match, Adam squashed Cezar like Richard Gere did that gerbil in his butt.
• The Bad: The gerbil smells like ass now.
• The Verdict: This was a squash.

Match #3: The Pinnacle (FTR and Shawn Spears) def. Varsity Blondes and Dante Martin

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Griff and Spears locked up. Griff pushed Spears into the corner. Spears collected himself and grappled Griff to the mat. Dante tagged in and stomped onto Spears’ arm, and Pillman tagged in. Dax came in after a blind tag and caught Pillman by surprise. He and Spears tried to double team Pillman but Dante got the blind tag and hit them with a moonsault press, landing on his feet! Varsity Blonds and Dante Martin were going to run and hit topes on the Pinnacle on the outside, but Wardlow stepped up and shielded the other members of the Pinnacle. The Varsity Blonds and Dante Martin thought again and stopped in their tracks. Dax “the Ax” shot down Dante Martin’s momentum with a deftly applied brainbuster! Spears tagged in with the C4 Death Valley Driver on Martin, gaining the pinfall for Pinnacle.

The Score: 4 out of 10

• The Good: This was a match that was mostly in picture in picture. It was solid and…okay. It was still a freakin squash.
• The Bad: Damn it.
• The Verdict: I hate squashes!

Match #4: Lucha Bros and Laredo Kid def. The Young Bucks and Brandon Cutler

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Rey Fenix wrenched a wristlock on Nick Jackson. Rey Fenix rolled up Nick Jackson, trying to put a quick end to the match, but Nick Jackson countered with his own roll up. Matt Jackson and Penta El Zero Miedo tagged in. Matt ate a thrust kick from Penta El Zero Miedo! Matt managed to apply a sharpshooter to Penta El Zero Miedo, but Penta El Zero Miedo crawled to the bottom rope and grabbed it, forcing the break. Cutler and Laredo Kid both tagged in, and Laredo Kid jacked the jaw of Cutler! Rey Fenix grabbed both Bucks with the implosion arm drag, sending them to the outside! Penta El Zero Miedo crashed onto them. Penta El Zero Miedo hit sling blades on Matt and Nick Jackson, and then the Lucha Bros hit stereo thrust kicks on the Bucks! Penta El Zero Miedo stomped onto Nick Jackson with a double foot stomp and Rey Fenix followed up with a diving senton! Nick Jackson blocked a cutter from Rey Fenix and then hit a running knee! Nick blasted Rey Fenix with a stiff clothesline. Laredo Kid tagged in and Matt Jackson caught him with two German suplexes! He power bombed Rey Fenix into the corner turnbuckle and tagged in Nick. The Bucks hit Risky Business! Cutler crashed down onto Rey Fenix after spring boarding up top. Cutler helped his partners with an assisted Indy Taker. In the middle of the melee, Laredo Kid ran in with the Spanish Fly on Cutler and scored the pin!

The Score: 7 out of 10

• The Good: This was a spectacle. If you like and endless stream of gutsy, exciting moves and dives being rapidly performed, then you will enjoy this.
• The Bad: This was just move after move until you couldn’t remember what was even going on.
• The Verdict: While a tremendous sight to behold, this was also absent of thought or intelligence. Things happened and then other thinga happened and then it ended.

Match #5: Tay Conti def. Nyla Rose

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

During her entrance, Dark Order stood on the ramp and showed their support to Conti. Nyla stomped on Conti. She attempted a body slam but Conti countered with a submission maneuver. Conti took down Nyla Rose with Judo throws! Nyla intercepted a knee strike and displayed her power, slamming Tay Conti to the mat. “The Native Beast” clubbed Conti with a huge lariat. She set up Conti on the top rope and smashed down with a knee drop! Conti kicked out at the two-count. Conti raged on Nyla with two bicycle knee kicks! She looked for the DD-Tay but Nyla backdropped her way out of it. Conti crashed down with a knee to Nyla’s temple, good for a near fall on the “Native Beast.” Nyla attempted the Beast Bomb but Conti escaped. Conti found her mark with a kick and then a running knee strike! Tony Schiavone said Tay Conti was displaying newfound aggression tonight. She spiked Nyla with the DD-Tay and pinned Nyla!

The Score: 7 out of 10

• The Good: Tay won! Holy s–t! This got real competitive immediately and stayed that way. Nyla always looked strong as an ox and Tay was just as formidable to boot. This was hard-hitting and gruelingly so.
• The Bad: It felt like it could and should have gone on longer.
• The Verdict: What a damn good way to give Tay a big victory.

Match #6: (Main Event) Darby Allin def. John Silver – TNT Title Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

When the match began, Darby pointed up, honoring the greatest TNT Champion, Mr. Brodie Lee. Darby used his quickness and leverage to trip up John Silver. He cranked on a side headlock. John Silver smacked into Darby Allin with a running uppercut, sending the champion sailing to the outside! He hurled Darby across the ring. Silver rag dolled Darby with a slam into the turnbuckle and then a brainbuster! Darby kicked out of the pin out of sheer desperation! On the outside of the ring, Silver sprinted at Darby but Darby dodged it! Silver crashed into the steel barricade as a result of this! The Dark Order moved in and surrounded Darby until Sting came out with the baseball bat to even up the odds. The Dark Order moved away from Darby.

John Silver fired kicks at Darby and then applied Anna Jay’s King Slayer! Silver nailed Darby with a DDT but Darby kicked out just in the nick of time! Darby rolled to the outside and Sting, wielding the bat, kept Dark Order at bay! John Silver kicked Darby in the chest and then stared at Sting, letting him know he wasn’t intimidated. Darby ate more kicks but soon got back to his feet and connected with double boots! They battered one another with strikes and then Silver knocked Darby for a loop with a pump kick! Silver hoisted Darby to the top rope but Darby pushed Silver to the mat and then Coffin Dropped the Dark Order on the arena floor. Silver hurled Darby off the top rope and went to cover the champ but Darby lifted his foot to the rope to stop the count. Darby Allin connected with the Code Red and pinned John Silver!

The Score: 8 out of 10

• The Good: Hot sister, Mister Pister! This was wild s–t! John was a great opponent for ol Darby. The meshing of serious with bizarre really proved to be a winning combination here. John was practically busting at the seams to be champion and that passion made the match that much more convincing. Darby was reserved here, but not absent of his daredevil ways entirely. This match never had a dull moment and really kept the suspense riveting.
• The Bad: The usage of false counts and kick-outs was a bit too much.
• The Verdict: While there were some issues with how they were drawing out the suspense, the match did benefit from the consistent efforts of both wrestlers to make this main event prize fight feel special.

Major News:

1. Christian Cage fights Frankie Kazarian, next week.
2. Cody Rhodes fights QT Marshall in an Exhibition Match, next week.

Final Verdict: 7/10

On a night where we had too many promos from the likes of Britt Baker, Jon Moxley/Eddie Kingston, Scorpio Sky, Christian Cage/Frankie Kazarian, The Pinnacle, Jade Cargill, Kenny Omega and too many others, the matches that worked managed to steal the spotlight. It’s a shame that the matches often felt secondary to the promos, but at least the matches were of plausible quality in several cases. Well, I’ll see you next time.