25th Mar2021

‘Ring of Honor’ Wrestling Review (Mar 19th 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Ring Of Honor review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and disco is not dead! Disco is life! I’ve gotta take a crap, so let’s make sure not to linger here too long. You don’t want my dookie on your kitchen stookie. SCHPLOINGK! We’ve got a big ol’ fight between The Foundation and La Faccion Ingobernable, so shut the mouth and enjoy the matches. Wait. That was done too early. Did you know Mark Harmon is a psychopath? His dog is evil. I don’t know how Pam Dauber deals with it. He has a face made of wrinkled evil. Do you think she ever boinked Mork from Ork? I would plow his goofy ass ‘til next July. Wait…am I a man or woman? Let me check… I…can’t tell. Huh. Screw it. I’ll just go out with Jessica Biel. Did she divorce that crack-rat yet? He’s got a face like it got hit with a shovel and one of the eyes went all googily and…is he meant to be attractive? Ryan Gosling is clearly the stud of the 90s Mouseketeers. Alright. That’s enough. Ring Of Honor starts now.

Match #1: Eli Isom def. Rey Horus

The following is courtesy of rohwrestling.com:

This was Isom’s first match in ROH in more than a year. He charged at Horus in the corner, but Horus used Isom’s momentum to hoist him over the top rope. Horus landed a majestic flip dive onto Isom on the floor and then rammed him into the barricade. Back inside the ring, Isom hit an overhead suplex. Horus answered with Spanish Fly for a near fall. Horus landed an overhead throw into the corner for another two count. Horus went for a tilt-a-whirl DDT, but Isom blocked it and transitioned into The Promise (brainbuster) for the victory in 8:01.

The Score: 5 out of 10

  • The Good: These guys didn’t slouch. There’s lots of fast, heavy hits here to break-up the dives and bolts from either side of the ring. Eli has grown exponentially more capable as a performer since I last saw him and he wasn’t bad before. Rey is very-well rounded at this point, which is evident here.
  • The Bad: This was kinda uninspired…a little bit anyway. These two did try to make the match exciting, but it sorta slowed to a crawl in a few instances for what-ever reason. Maybe the lack of sound grappling kept the bout from finding sure footing? There’s nothing terrible here, but nothing spectacular here despite what there is to see being great displays of athleticism.
  • The Verdict: While this was no toothless beast, this was a weak bite from a jowl packed with sharp teeth.

Match #2: (Main Event) La Faccion Ingobernable (Rush, Dragon Lee, Kenny King & La Bestia del Ring) def. The Foundation (Jay Lethal, Jonathan Gresham, Tracy Williams & Rhett Titus)

The following is courtesy of rohwrestling.com:

The top two factions in ROH squared off a week prior to the 19th Anniversary pay-per-view on March 26, where ROH World Champion RUSH defends against Lethal, World Television Champion Lee defends against Williams, and ROH World Tag Team Champions Lee and King defend against Williams and Titus. Early in the match, RUSH sucker-punched Lethal and went on the attack. Lethal fired back and hit an enziguri that knocked RUSH through the ropes and onto the apron. Lethal followed with a springboard dropkick that sent RUSH to the floor. Lethal hit a dive on RUSH. Later, Titus out-wrestled his former tag partner King and hit a high crossbody off the top rope for a to count. The match suddenly degenerated into a brawl between all eight competitors on the floor. The referee allowed a tremendous amount of latitude rather than disqualifying both teams. LFI got the better of the fight and began isolating Foundation members. First it was four-on-one against Lethal, then Williams and then Titus. When it was Gresham’s turn to be brutalized, he gained a burst of energy and tagged Titus, who came in with a head of steam. Bestia went for a sunset flip from the apron, but Titus caught him and hit an overhead suplex into a bridge for a near fall. Williams hit a piledriver on Bestia, but Lee made the save. King dropped Williams throat-first on the top rope. Bestia followed with a package tombstone piledriver on Williams for the win at 18:50.

The Score: 7 out of 10

  • The Good: You get lots of meaty tag action here. You know…big, thick, veiny action. This stuff pumps in and out of you like an iguana-whammer sledge-hammer that blasts you so hard you cough spit up like you’re back at the joint getting’ by by puttin’ out! God damn! Some-body f—k me up the ass! F—k me right in the ass! Right f—kin’ now! Ju…sorry. I was once an old pro at the world’s oldest profession…ice cream man. Ice Cream! Ice Cream! Ic…sorry. Where was I? Oh…right! LFI and The Foundation took it to each other one blow at a time, which is how I used to make six-figures on my knees! I used to suck the s—t out of…sorry. I love…ice cream… Anyway, both teams were so accomplished at the actual tagging part of the bout. There were no lulls in the flow of the bout. Flow? I sound like a hippie with menstrual clogging. Speaking of clogging, men used to shove their…ice cream…in my butt and mouth I was gagging and bursting with…ice cream…sorry. The idea of evil lucha bashing head-on with passionate grappling skills made for a match that was strong in the parts where the match needed to get fun, like the final few minutes. There are many things that you may think of this match, but I don’t believe lazy was one of them.
  • The Bad: This was not the most interesting match. You won’t mistake this for one of the best bouts in tag history, but it was serviceable.
  • The Verdict: I’d wager this was a very fun match that was not overly memorable, but it was good fun nonetheless.

Final Verdict: 7/10

This was another solid show that needs some more life to it, but what we do get is very easy to enjoy and easy to show to the un-initiated and not be ridiculed for having had watched in the first place.

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