03rd Feb2021

WWE Raw – Feb 1st 2021: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Monday Night Raw review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and there was once a Jewish teenager who played on his high school basketball team. Living in Alabama, the teen would often endure having to listen to the goobers try to use Yiddish words incorrectly. One day, his coach saw the teen playing badly and told him to “Stop playing like a shmuck.” The teen, annoyed at the usage, told his coach that “You don’t even know what a shmuck is you putz.” The coach, baffled at this accusation of idiocy, inquired to his student, “What’s a putz?” The teen, without missing a beat, fired off “A putz is a shmuck you dick.” Now that we have that wonderful story fully told, let’s…what the… The Penguin: I am not a human being! I am an animal! Cold-blooded! Rick James: Cold-bloodeddddddddd!!!!!!! Me: Ummmmm… Rick James: Imma bite yo big-ass nose, honky-tonk! The Penguin: Ow! F—ker! Me: Let’s just get… The Penguin: Ow! Stop it! Why are you biting me?! Rick James: ‘Cuz you a super-freak! Me: Raw! Now! Rick James: What did five fingers say to the face? Slap! I’m Rick James b—ch! ‘Cuz she’s a brick…house!

Match #1: Riddle def. Bobby Lashley – WWE United States Championship Match (Disqualification)

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Last week on Raw, the resilient Riddle powered through Raw Tag Team Champions Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin and MVP to earn a United States Championship opportunity against Bobby Lashley. Following a totally impressive showing in the Royal Rumble Match last night, The Original Bro looked to use his momentum to conquer The Hurt Business’ most dominant member and lay claim the U.S. Title. Bro! Lashley caught Riddle in the Full Nelson on the apron and wouldn’t let go, bringing an end to the contest by disqualification. Presumably enraged over coming up short in the Royal Rumble Match, Lashley locked his opponent up in a second, post-match Full Nelson outside the ring and refused to let go. Eventually he did, taking issue with MVP’s calls for restraint. The irate United States Champion then locked Riddle in a third Full Nelson before hurling him over the barricade.

My Opinion: 2 out of 10

Match #2: Xavier Woods def. Mustafa Ali

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

With Kofi Kingston out with an injury over the past several weeks, Xavier Woods was forced to endure a series of beatdowns, orchestrated by RETRIBUTION’S sinister leader Mustafa Ali. With Kingston back and The Power of Positivity in Woods’ corner, though, things would prove to be quite different. Interference by RETRIBUTION led Kingston to jump off the steel ring steps, miraculously launching himself off of T-BAR’s shoulder to take SLAPJACK out of the equation. In the midst of this distraction, Woods was able to seize the moment and pick up the quick pin on his outraged opponent.

My Opinion: 3 out of 10

Match #3: Damian Priest def. The Miz

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Following the confrontation during “Miz TV,” an impromptu match was set up pitting Miz against Damien Priest in The Archer of Infamy’s Raw in-ring debut. Bad Bunny stopped Miz from utilizing the Money in the Bank briefcase as a weapon. When John Morrison demanded the case, the performer struck The Shaman of Sexy. Then, when Miz turned away from the commotion and back to his opponent, Priest executed the Reckoning on The A-Lister for the huge victory!

My Opinion: 5 out of 10

Match #4: Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin def. The Lucha House Party – Raw Tag Team Championship Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After beating Raw Tag Team Champions Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin three weeks ago on Legends Night, the high-flying Gran Metalik & Lince Dorado challenged The Hurt Business for the Raw Tag Team Titles. Despite weeks of internal dissension, The Hurt Business worked together to repel a major offensive by their highly-athletic opponents in the final seconds of the match. When it looked like Alexander was ready to put Gran Metalik away, however, Benjamin suddenly tagged himself in and finished things with Paydirt.

My Opinion: 6 out of 10

Match #5: Naomi & Lana def. Charlotte Flair & Asuka and Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke – Triple Threat Tag Team Match For A WWE Women’s Tag Team Title Shot

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

With the help of a distraction from Lacey Evans and two-time WWE Hall of Famer Ric Flair, Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler reclaimed the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships from Charlotte Flair & Asuka at Royal Rumble. Anxious to get back in the title hunt, The Queen and The Empress battled Naomi & Lana and Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke in a Triple Threat Elimination Tag Team Match for the opportunity to challenge Nia and Shayna. As they did, the dangerous new titleholders watched the action backstage. When Lacey Evans and Ric Flair emerged to create another distraction, an irate Charlotte tagged herself out of the match and left Asuka by herself. The Empress entered the ring still distracted and ran right into Naomi’s Rear View, giving The Glowing Superstar and her partner Lana the right to challenge the new WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions.

My Opinion: 4 out of 10

Match #6: Jeff Hardy & Carlito def. Jaxson Ryker & Elias

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

A new chapter was written in the ongoing rivalry between Jeff Hardy and Elias when one of Jeff’s fellow legends, Carlito, teamed up with The Charismatic Enigma against Elias and the formidable Jaxson Ryker. The once bitter rivals turned tag team partners worked together with tremendous precision, with Carlito hitting the backstabber into Hardy’s Swanton Bomb for the big win!

My Opinion: 4 out of 10

Match #7: Alexa Bliss def. Nikki Cross

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Months after ending her friendship with Nikki Cross, Alexa Bliss battled her former friend in a one-on-one showdown. Cross clearly was still feeling the torment of losing her cohort and was in no mood to take any of Bliss’s weird childlike playfulness. When Cross started to gain an advantage over her opponent, Bliss suddenly transformed herself into the version of Alexa that was once so close to Nikki. She then transformed back to the Fun House Bliss. This threw her opponent off long enough for Alexa to hit a version of Sister Abigail with her own twist added to the maneuver.

My Opinion: 4 out of 10

Match #8: (Main Event) Edge def. Randy Orton

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

One day after going 58 minutes to win the Royal Rumble Match, a war-torn Edge went one-on-one with the vicious Randy Orton in a final battle between two bitter adversaries. Orton was out to derail his one-time friend’s WrestleMania plans. But no matter what the vicious Viper threw at his resilient opponent, the WWE Hall of Famer would not give in. In the final moments the haunting Alexa Bliss suddenly appeared on the turnbuckle with strange black substance oozing from her mouth. The horrifying image made Orton lose focus and Edge executed the Spear for the victory!

My Opinion: 7 out of 10

Final Verdict: 5/10

This was a show that had the right sort of main event, but it ruined it by having a dumb appearance from Alexa Bliss as black-blood bleeding rejects from Batman Returns. The Penguin: Ow! Stop it! Rick James: You taste like fat-ass geek deep-fried in loser! From the start of this show, we had…short matches. Yeah, it’s the same old story again this week. The card on paper read well, but was hindered in practice by not booking enough time for the matches to really hit their stride, aside from the main event of course. Riddle and Lashley had the potential to be a big deal, but it was mostly just a smoke-and-mirrors angle to have Lashley smash Riddle like the courts did to Riddle’s legal defense against Candy Cartwright. BAM! Xavier Woods and Mustafa Ali didn’t have a chance to tear the house down, which is great news for the architecture, but lousy for our entertainment. S—T! Damien Priest looked great against The Miz in a decent match, while the tag champions retained in a fine prize fight that had a lot of heft to it. The Penguin: Is that a fat crack?! Rick James: Sho’ is tubby! The Penguin: Ow! Damn it! Rick James: You don’t taste like Linda Blair! Me: The women’s tag match had some nice moves and a decent pace, but it lacked the zest, if you know what I mean? Lana still shouldn’t be on TV and all that, but I will say that she is getting better…ish. Carlito looked great teaming with Jeff Hardy against Coconut Calhoun and Tribby-Dribby Jones. Carlito is so jacked that he makes Triple H look like Taylor Swift. Alexa Bliss then came along and spent the rest of the show making this feel like wrestling by way of hammer-to-the-head. Alexa and Nikki had some good wrestling their match, but there was so much starting and stopping so as to accommodate this new gimmick of changing appearance/personality that Alexa is doing. At least Nikki showed that she has the baby-face fire that can burn down the door keeping her from getting into the room, so to speak. After Nikki got eaten by Alexa’s new gimmick, Alexa came into the excellent Edge/Randy Orton match and did creepy oozing black-blood spot that just felt like a waste of time, but one that seems to have shown that Randy is likely to face Bray Wyatt at WrestleMania in some sort of gimmick match. As for the main event, Edge and Randy were able to tap into their previous high-level bouts celebrated quality and delivered a good bout that wasn’t quite on the same level as those previous bouts, but good wrestling nonetheless. Edge moving on from Randy is the right call regardless of whether or not edge is getting a title shot at WrestleMania, so this was satisfying to see Edge win, even if it came about by way of Alexa Bliss doing her Batman Returns bit, which probably would make Tim Burton happy, but few others. The Penguin: Ow! F—k off! Rick James: I got some ranch dressing fo yo ass! Me: Over-all, this was a show that had the right idea, but it didn’t quite get how to make that idea work. Still this was more interesting than some of the other episodes of Raw, thanks to Edge planting seeds of not only possibly challenging Drew McIntyre at WrestleMania, but also of the possibility of Drew being a target because he’s the WWE World Champion. Speaking of this, Sheamus attacked Drew and demanded a WWE World Title shot, which Drew later granted. One thing that’s nice about this year’s WrestleMania build is that you have a lot of interesting matches that can be booked, but nothing feels too obvious either. I’m looking forward to seeing what happens in the coming weeks, even if I don’t have as much hope for it all working out as I’d like, at least we have a WrestleMania to even see this year. The Penguin: Ow! Mother-f—ker! Rick James: Cocaine is a hell of a drug. Me: Well, I’ll see you next time. Thanks for reading.

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