‘AEW: Dynamite’ Review (Dec 9th 2020)

Welcome to this week’s All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have Don Callis joining Kenny Omega to cut the same damn promo yet again. That being said, Sting is here. Will Cody Rhodes get Sting’s first promo? Of course…because Cody has to be involved in everything! By the way, I thought the main event of Winter is Coming was a 4.5, the battle royal was a 2.5 and Sting being here kicks ass. Okay, Monday Night Nitro starts now.

Match #1: The Young Bucks def. TH2

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

TH2 attacked The Bucks before the bell rang! The Bucks rallied back quickly and dropkicked TH2 to the outside. The Bucks speared TH2 on the arena floor. The Bucks connected with a double dropkick on Jack Evans, but Angelico tagged in. Nick countered Angelico with an arm drag off the middle rope. Matt tagged in and dropped a leg across Angelico’s spine! TH2 began to double team Matt Jackson at this point. Jack Evans nearly put away Matt with an assisted 450 splash! They tried a second time but Nick hit a superkick to counter. Nick tagged in and hit a knee strike on Jack Evans and then a diving bulldog clothesline combination on TH2! Nick jumped off the ropes and spiked Angelico head-first! On the outside of the ring, Matt Jackson powerbombed Jack Evans over the guardrail, sending him crashing onto The Acclaimed, who were watching ringside. The Bucks hit their Risky Business on Angelico, but Angelico kicked out, showing his resilience. Jack Evans jumped in with a 450 splash onto Matt Jackson but Matt kicked out! Angelico attempted a BT Bomber in the corner but Nick Jackson saved his brother by kicking Angelico! The Bucks used a Doomsday Device on Evans on the ramp! They isolated Angelico in the ring and blasted him with stereo superkicks! Angelico kicked out again. The Bucks tried More Bang for Your Buck but Angelico moved. Jack Evans spiked Matt with a hurracanrana. Angelico wrenched Matt’s knee in a death roll while Jack Evans stood by, making sure Nick couldn’t make the save. But Nick was able to connect with a swanton onto Angelico, getting Matt out of Angelico’s submission. Evans flipped over the top but the Bucks caught him. The Bucks spiked Evans on the outside! They finished off Angelico with stereo superkicks and the BTE Trigger!

My Opinion: 4 out of 5 – This was a wild, incredible spot-fest that didn’t always have good logic, but it did have enough of it to shake a corpse at. Angelico was the man here, grounding the match and giving it an anchor. The Bucks did their flip-for-your-life routine and, by and large, it worked very well. I’d say that TH2 really stepped-up and knocked the damn ball out of the park…and hit an old woman in the head…now she’s dead! Grandmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! You sonsabitches! You did it! You blew it up! God damn you! God damn you all to Hellllllllllllll!!!!!!!! Apart from Angelico, you don’t get much in the way of great grappling, but you do get some marvelous stunts that, even when they came at the expense of logic, still delivered the goods. For an opener, this one got the blood pumping.

Match #2: FTR def. The Varsity Blondes

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Pillman and Cash locked up and Cash grappled Pillman down to the mat. Dax tagged in and chopped at Pillman’s chest. He snap suplexed Pillman, keeping him isolated from Griff Garrison. Pillman fought back with a thrust kick to Dax and then a dropkick to Cash! He tagged in Griff and he and Pillman used effective tandem offense on Cash Wheeler, including a quick leg drop. Dax tagged in and FTR hoisted Pillman up and then dropped him sternum-first across the ring ropes. Pillman took down Cash with a diving shoulder block and then tagged in Griff, who cleaned house on FTR with a splash and then a double spear on Dax for a near fall. Pillman tagged, attempted a springboard, but Dax dodged it and countered with a brain buster! Cash tagged in, FTR used the Goodnight Express on Pillman, and that spelled the end of the night for the Varsity Blondes.

My Opinion: 2.6 out of 5 – This was an extended squash. What the hell was this? This sucked. 2.6…it’s pity. I pity the fool who watched this! Me! I pity me! I have a fat chin, chubby butt and Zendaya is Meechee. Okay, it went a while, but this just never really came together. Well, they did try, but it does happen some times.

Match #3: Dustin Rhodes def. 10

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Dustin connected with rights and lefts to 10’s body, and then a big right hand to 10’s head! The action spilled outside and 10 planted Dustin. He pulled him back in the ring and exploded with a spinebuster on Dustin! 10 pump kicked Dustin, knocking him back to the arena floor. Dustin responded with a series of clotheslines back in the ring. Dustin started to bite on 10’s mask and then followed up with a running bulldog for the pin! Evil Uno stormed out with Dark Order: “Dustin, I can’t change the past, but I can change the future. Your name comes with pressure. Here alone you are the third most important Rhodes. We can help you. Will you take your rightful place as 7 of the Dark Order? What do you say…7?” Dustin hesitated, lifted his hand, and then slapped Evil Uno to the ground. Evil Uno ordered the Dark Order to back up. “When you see the light. When you understand what I understand, you’ll come begging for it,” said Evil Uno.

My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – This was boring. Dustin tried to make this work, but it just never got off the ground.

Match #4: The Butcher & The Blade and Eddie Kingston def. Lance Archer, Rey Fenix and Penta El Zero M

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Archer charged the ring and jumped over the top at Eddie Kingston! Penta El Zero Miedo chopped away at The Butcher outside the ring. The Butcher had enough and suplexed Penta El Zero Miedo onto a ringside table. Back in the ring, once the bell rang, Archer continued to work over Kingston. Penta El Zero Miedo was helped to the back by AEW officials and medical staff. The Butcher connected with a cross body block onto Rey Fenix. Kingston took over and body slammed Rey Fenix, and then dropped an elbow on him for good measure. Blade tagged in and dropped a knee across Rey Fenix’s throat. While the referee had her back turned, The Bunny took a cheap shop on Rey Fenix from the ring apron! Rey Fenix fought back with a cutter on Kingston! Rey Fenix got a burst of speed and tagged in Archer. The Bucher and Archer slugged it out with one another. Archer used running elbows onto The Butcher and The Blade who were in opposite corners of the ring! Archer suplexed The Blade after Jake Roberts grabbed Blade’s ankle from the outside. Rey Fenix tagged in and connected with a springboard on Blade. He hit a roundhouse kick on Butcher and then a tope con hiro through the ropes to Eddie Kingston! Back in the ring, Butcher and Blade hit the powerbomb neck breaker combo and Blade pinned Rey Fenix.

My Opinion: 2.7 out of 5 – It was very lively, but it was very unruly as well, which led to this just feeling like a lot of white noise. Man, I’m just not giving resoundingly strong reviews. Well, I can’t lie. These matches have been pretty lame so far.

Match #5: Abadon def. Tesha Price

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Abadon smacked Tesha with a big clothesline! Tesha fired back with a big right hand, but Abadon bludgeoned her in the corner and then dropped her with a powerful leg trip! Abadon planted Tesha Price and then pinned her. She continued to assault Tesha after the match. Hikaru Shida’s music played, and Shida walked to the ring and blasted Abadon with her kendo stick! Abadon sat up, but Shida helped Tesha to the back, as they both looked on in disbelief!

My Opinion: 1.6 out of 5 – This was a squash. Abadon looks cool. I look forward to her fighting Hikaru Shida.

Match #6: (Main Event) MJF def. Orange Cassidy – Dynamite Diamond Ring Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Earlier in the night, Chris Jericho said the Inner Circle would be sitting ringside to observer MJF, just in case he needed a hand. MJF won the ring last year, so he has a chance to win it again tonight. MJF tried to get an early advantage and charged Orange as Orange was taking his jacket off in the corner. MJF suplexed Orange and covered him immediately for a one-count. MJF hit another vertical suplex. MJF tried again, but Orange countered with StunDog Millionaire! Orange attempted the Orange Punch but MJF moved and Orange hit the steel ring post! MJF powerbombed Orange on the ring apron! MJF attempted to break Orange’s fingers to neutralize the Orange Punch. Orange tripped MJF, but MJF followed up by pancaking Orange Cassidy for a near fall. MJF distracted the referee while the Inner Circle mugged Orange Cassidy on the outside. Sammy rammed Orange’s head into the ring post! The Varsity Blondes, Brandon Cutler, and Top Flight came out to even up the odds with Best Friends. They cheered Orange on from ringside. Cassidy connected with a tope suicida and then a diving crossbody onto MJF. He followed up with a massive DDT! And then a second diving DDT for a near fall on MJF! Cassidy rolled up MJF for a near fall. Cassidy went for the Orange Punch but MJF got out of the way and countered with a shoulder breaker and then a Tiger Driver on Cassidy for a near fall! MJF looked for the heat seeker but Orange Cassidy dumped him over the top! Orange Cassidy followed up with a huge springboard senton to the outside! Cassidy returned to the ring but MJF caught him with the heat seeker! Orange kicked out before three! MJF brought Jericho’s bat into the ring, but Orange Cassidy outsmarted him. Orange connected with the Beach Break and MJF kicked out. MJF applied the Salt of the Earth arm bar but Cassidy rolled out. Cassidy nailed MJF with the Orange Punch but MJF kicked out! Orange used a second Orange Punch but Wardlow placed MJF’s foot on the bottom rope so the ref had to break the pin. Miro ran into the ring, and decked Orange Cassidy while the referee had his back turned. MJF draped his arm over Orange Cassidy and scored the victory!

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was going well, but then they had so much interference that it all fell apart before it could mean anything. That being said, before the mayhem, we had a pretty damn good match on hand here. These two fit each other like an old condom. OC gave MJF the cold shoulder the whole time, which is pretty funny considering that…wait, why is it funny? Eh, I probably just needed some words to fill the paragraph. This was really intense. The match felt like it was an old-fashioned grudge fight and I liked it. I wish that this match had been promoted that way. I’m glad that MJF got to dictate the pace of the bout. MJF has become too much of a comedy figure recently, so him going hog-wild on OC made happy. I’m glad MJF won the ring for a second year in a row, because I forgot he had in the first place.

Final Verdict: 2.5/5

The beginning and end were mostly good, but Miro attacking Orange Cassidy just felt like too much. Sting was here and got stuck in a promo with Cody Rhodes, but at least he got over on Cody, who puts himself over as much as Triple H these days. The Inner Circle spending ten minutes deciding to stay together was a waste of time and Shaquille O’Neal getting booze thrown on him by Brandi Rhodes was dumb. Do you know what all that means? This show was a mess. Hell, Jenny Omega showed-up with Don Callis and gave the exact same promo from Impact Wrestling last night. This was the exact opposite of what they should have been doing to follow-up Winter Is Coming. Instead of all these angles and storylines, why don’t you just book the most popular people on the roster in matches and see where that goes?