03rd Nov2020

WWE Raw – Nov 2nd 2020: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Monday Night Raw review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and Frogger can kiss my ass! Hop along the road and get squished you miserable fish! Okay, we got more matches, because that’s what the show is for…and dumb promos. Talking! Let’s knit, bitch!

Match #1: Jeff Hardy def. Elias – Guitar on a Pole Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Jeff Hardy and Elias have spent weeks looking to hit the right chord, and The Charismatic Enigma delivered the smash hit in a Guitar on a Pole Match. Hardy showed off his vintage high-flying skill to keep the power of Elias grounded throughout the match. The iconic Superstar finally seized control with a Twist of Fate and climbed the turnbuckle. With the guitar in hand, Hardy dropped from the sky to take out Elias and walloped him with the six-string to claim the victory.

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – I actually liked this. Go figure. Elias is finally getting better, like fine wine or puppy poon. Oh, the Carousel Man, oh the Carousel, movin’ arouuuuuuuunnnnnnddddddd!!!!!! Jeff did his electric lesbian routine, which was shockingly gay…with joy. Pound it! Vince Russo must have been so thrilled to see two men fighting over a pole once again. Joe Walsh used to bone fat girls as a tax write-off and this match was a fun burst of action.

Match #2: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler def. Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke – Women’s Tag Team Title Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke were looking for a championship breakthrough against Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler, but Lana couldn’t let the rest of Team Raw draw all the attention. As the title match raged on, Lana turned heads with her entrance to ringside. Lana created a distraction that appeared to save Brooke from a vicious Baszler hold, but the diversion grabbed the official’s attention during Brooke’s roll-up. The Queen of Spades wouldn’t let victory slide away again, as Baszler locked in the Kirifuda Clutch to get Brooke to tap out.

My Opinion: 2.6 out of 5 – Shayna carried what she could and the rest just sort of…existed. Everybody showed some promise, but Shayna was all ready for the big-times here and it showed. This didn’t go very long, but the right team won, so that’s cool. I’m gay and my wife will tell you that, just like she’ll tell you that this match was decent, but not amazing.

Match #3: Bobby Lashley def. R-Truth

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

R-Truth dug himself a hole when he inadvertently set a match with United States Champion Bobby Lashley. The 24/7 Champion couldn’t stop a steamroll from The All Mighty, who secured the tap-out victory with a Full Nelson.

My Opinion: 0.5 out of 5 – This was a few moves and that’s it…because it was a SQUAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Match #4: Braun Strowman def. Keith Lee, Sheamus – Triple Threat Match For Survivor Series Spot

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

As AJ Styles laid out his plans as the self-proclaimed captain of Team Raw for Survivor Series, The Monster came knocking for his opportunity. It was a clash of titans as Braun Strowman, Keith Lee and Sheamus locked horns in a Triple Threat Match with Strowman looking to secure a spot at Survivor Series. The three behemoths put on a jaw-dropping display of strength that saw Lee toss The Celtic Warrior, and all three men come crashing in shattering fashion to the center of the ring. Strowman pounced on Sheamus with a thunderous Powerslam to punch his Survivor Series ticket. Will Team Raw pick up the pieces after the larger-than-life collision?

My Opinion: 3.7 out of 5 – This was a big spectacle that ended-up being pretty exciting in the long run…like a lambadda lobotomy. Braun smashed the Appletini Twins like Scotchaholic Sisters! Booze Bitches! While the match did start off as a standard WWE brawl, these guys got ballsy…heh…balls…and kicked the match up several notches. Braun winning was obvious, but I’m glad that Lee and Sheamus got to take Braun to the limit and piss of The Eagles at the same time. Braun got a big victory here to help get some luster back on him and I’m glad I shaved my mangina for the occasion.

Match #5: Nia Jax def. Lana

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After another run-in with Nia Jax earlier in the night, Lana reached a boiling point and stepped into the ring with the imposing Superstar. Lana did her best to persevere through the punishment, but Jax secured the win with a Samoan Drop to her fellow Team Raw member. As Jax made her way up the ramp, she couldn’t help but come back and keep Lana’s announce table shattering streak going.

My Opinion: 1.7 out of 5 – Lana is getting better, but Nia is just a box of elephant pubes at this point. Damn…I have such high hopes for Nia, but she just keeps regressing. This was a filthy, stinkin’ squash, so you know how I feel about this. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Match #6: Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin def. The New Day

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The Hurt Business announced their intentions of cashing in on their golden dreams and took a big first step with a victory over The New Day. After Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods threw shade at The Hurt Business, Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin brought the fight to the Raw Tag Team Champions in a non-title matchup. Woods seemed poised to send The New Day toward victory, but Alexander struck with a Neuralyzer, and Shelton Benjamin followed with a Paydirt in a flawless display of teamwork for the win.

My Opinion: 3.3 out of 5 – This was a nice little taste of what the dish will be like when it finishes cooking. There’s plenty of solid, stable tag action here that never goes too far beyond what you can believe, but doesn’t skimp on the stunts either. If this is what a tag feud will be like between these two teams, then I want the long war as soon as possible. If you’re talking about easy viewing, then you may as well just talk about this match, because it was easy viewing and with the names involved, how could it not be?

Match #7: Ricochet def. Tucker

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The appearance of Mustafa Ali cast a dark shadow over the match before it even began between Ricochet and Tucker. With a sense of urgency, Ricochet hit Tucker with a Recoil to secure a quick victory.

My Opinion: 0.9 out of 5 – This was…well, Ricochet won…so there.

Match #8: (Main Event) Drew McIntyre def. The Miz & John Morrison – 1-on-2 Handicap Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

All Drew McIntyre is focused on is reclaiming the WWE Championship from Randy Orton and is prepared to crush anyone who steps in his way. After The Miz tried to cash in his Money in the Bank contract earlier in the night, a Claymore from McIntyre was waiting for him. The Miz & John Morrison played to their numbers advantage throughout the match, but the Scottish Superstar proved up to the challenge.

My Opinion: 3.8 out of 5 – This got really damn good. M&M were very ambitious in their offense and Drew was the usual house-of-fire babyface that he always is. I don’t like Drew beating a legitimate team on his own, but this went long enough and he was aggressive enough to sell him being tough enough to bull-doze two successful fighters. I was surprised at how intense this got, but even more pleased that it did. If a team has to lose to one man, than this was the way to do it.

News Of The Night:

  1. Drew McIntyre was invited by Sheamus to join Team Raw at Survivor Series.
  2. Nia Jax wants to destroy Lana’s career.
  3. The goth doll in Fire-Fly Fun-House said f—k…twice.
  4. Nikki Cross is trying to help Alexa Bliss get rid of the influence of Bray Wyatt from her life.
  5. RETRIBUTION attacked Ricochet and Tucker.
  6. A feud between The New Day and The Hurt Business has begun.
  7. Angel Garza cut a horny promo on the ladies.
  8. Randy Orton, Drew McIntyre and Bray Wyatt are feuding ove the WWE World Title.

Final Verdict: 3.2/5

A couple of excellent matches saved a dull show from being terrible.


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