29th Oct2020

‘AEW: Dynamite’ Review (Oct 28th 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and I used to be a candidate for dumbest dip-shit of the year, but I lost to a bowling ball covered in bacon grease. We’ve got a big match between Kenny Omega and Penta El Zero M and…another promo between Chris Jericho and MJF…oh God. I’m just gonna review porn instead. “F—k Sasha Grey” is the best DVD of Sasha Grey’s career, which is saying something. You get Sasha nailing a guy in a bear costume, two dudes in a psycho ward, her getti…fine! I’ll review Dynamite!

Match #1: Adam Page def. Wardlow – AEW World Title Eliminator Tournament Semi-Finals Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

The first match of the night was “Mr. Mayhem” Wardlow vs. “Hangman” Adam Page! Wardlow is on a 9-match singles winning streak. Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, and Jim Ross were the broadcast team for tonight’s event! “Right now we have two men who have a chance to go to the championship of the Eliminator Tournament,” noted Tony Schiavone. Page blasted Wardlow with a shotgun dropkick for a quick start to the match! “‘Hangman’ Page not wasting anytime trying to take the fight directly to Wardlow,” said Excalibur. Wardlow bounced back quickly by connecting with a forearm on Page. He hurled “Hangman” into the corner turnbuckles. Page used his speed to avoid a charging Wardlow, jumping off the middle rope with a clothesline to Wardlow, sending him to the outside! Page followed up with a pescado but Wardlow caught him! Page slipped out of Wardlow’s grasp and pushed him headfirst into the steel post! “That just made the big man mad,” said Tony Schiavone of Wardlow. Wardlow rammed into Page with a giant spear, sending Page’s body crashing through the steel guardrail! “Speared him right through the safety rail!” said Tony Schiavone. Wardlow dumped Page hard onto the mat with a slam for a near fall. He got some ground and pound offensive in on Page. Wardlow picked up Page for a vertical suplex and ended up tossing him halfway across the mat. “In a short period of time, Wardlow has become one of the power forces here in AEW,” said Tony Schiavone. Wardlow got another near fall on Page after executing a massive gut wrench powerbomb! Wardlow attempted to chokeslam Page off the corner turnbuckle but Page countered with a cross arm breaker over the top rope. Wardlow tried for a giant senton but Page rolled out of the way! Page clubbed Wardlow with a lariat, attempted a second lariat, but Wardlow countered with his own clothesline and dropped Page to his knees. Wardlow sprung off the ropes but Page met him with a double ax handle. Wardlow went with a release German suplex but Page landed on his feet! Page took out Wardlow on the floor with a moonsault! Page came back with a running shooting star press in the ring, but Wardlow kicked out at the one-count! Page tried the buckshot lariat but Wardlow ducked it and connected with a thunderous clothesline onto “Hangman”! Page kicked out at two! Wardlow sent Page for a ride with the wicked F-10! Page smartly rolled to the outside to create some distance. Wardlow grabbed Page and carried him up the turnbuckles. “Hangman” fired back with elbow shots. Page threw Wardlow across the ring with a fallaway slam! “Hangman” nailed Wardlow with two consecutive buckshot lariats and scored the pin! “Adam Page is a finalist. He is one win away from earning a shot at the AEW World Title,” noted Jim Ross. “He will go on to FULL GEAR in the finals of this Eliminator Tournament,” added Schiavone. Page celebrated with a much deserved cold beer after the match.

My Opinion: 3.6 out of 5 – Page sold for ol’ Wardlow, who spent most of the match wondering why he gave himself such a stupid name. Page bumped for Wardlow like a pregnant chick in a disco joint on Gazoingo 9. I wouldn’t come to this match looking for a mat classic, but you do get a fight, which bodes well for our entertainment. This match could’ve used some more wrestling in it? Well, in any case, what wrestling we did get held together the strands of action that dangled from the bone of contention that we picked from the body of this article of…what the hell was I talking about? Anyway, this match was pretty good and it started this show off right.

Match #2: Eddie Kingston (with The Butcher, The Blade & The Bunny) def. Matt Sydal

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Kingston will be facing AEW World Champion Jon Moxley in an “I Quit” Match November 7th at FULL GEAR. They began with chain wrestling but Kingston powered Sydal to the mat. He pushed Sydal to the corner and tried for a chop, but Sydal escaped and hit Kingston with a knife-edge chop! Sydal took down Kingston with two consecutive deep arm drags. Matt rolled up Eddie for a two-count! Sydal dropkicked Kingston right in the face! Matt Sydal was fishing for the grounded cobra clutch finisher that he’s been using lately but Kingston grappled his way out of it. Sydal attempted a roundhouse kick but Kingston caught him and slammed him. “You can tell Eddie’s been training,” noted Jim Ross. Sydal connected with a sunset flip, good for a two-count on Kingston, but Kingston stood right up and knocked down Sydal with a lariat! Sydal didn’t take it sitting down, though, as he used a leg sweep and then a standing moonsault on Kingston! Sydal blasted Kingston with a knee and a roundhouse kick, but Kingston kicked out at the two-count! “That was very nearly a homerun shot for Matt Sydal,” said Excalibur. Kingston used a spinning back fist on Sydal, wiping him out! Next Kingston applied the bulldog choke, the same one Moxley uses, forcing Sydal to tap!

My Opinion: 3.3 out of 5 – This was getting somewhere, but they had to stop off somewhere else and they ended up staying overnight at a motel, if you catch my drift. Kingston clobbered ol’ Sydal like a bad father after his son peed his pants at the 4th grade piano recital. In truth, this was good fun, but so much of it got stuck in the commercial break that you might be hard-pressed to say that this was quality wrestling, but I’m not.

Match #3: Cody (with Dustin Rhodes, QT Marshall, & Arn Anderson) def. Orange Cassidy (with Best Friends [Chuck Taylor & Trent]) – Lumberjack Match For The TNT Championship

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

The reason for the lumberjack match stipulation tonight was to prevent the Dark Order from interfering. Orange tried for the Orange Punch, but Cody dodged it! Cody countered with CrossRhodes, but Orange escaped it! “Orange Cassidy picking up the pace. It’s so unlike him,” said Tony Schiavone. Cassidy took down Cody with a go-behind transitioning into a side headlock. Cassidy grounded the champ. “Cassidy has changed his approach here,” said Jim Ross. Cody whipped Orange into the corner turnbuckle. Orange Cassidy returned the favor and sent Cody flying into the turnbuckles. On the outside, Evil Uno grabbed at Cody’s boot. As Cody was distracted, Orange tied up Cody with a backslide for a near fall. Orange nailed Cody with a standing vertical suplex. Cody was quick with a dragon screw leg whip on Orange. Cody was sent to the ropes after Orange hit a dropkick on him, and Trent used the opportunity to sucker punch the champ! Orange followed up with a flying crossbody. He attempted a swinging DDT but Cody countered with the figure four, but before Cody could apply it, Orange booted him! Orange pancaked Cody with the swinging DDT! Orange tried for a splash off the top rope, but Cody was able to lift his knees in time! The lumberjacks broke out into a brawl on the outside! Cody superplexed Orange Cassidy to the outside, crashing down onto the pile of lumberjacks! Cody followed up with a CodyCutter! Orange kicked out at the two-count! Orange lured Cody in and nailed him with a thrust kick! Orange hit the Stun Dog Millionaire and then planted Cody with a diving DDT! Orange used the Beach Break on Cody for good measure, but somehow Cody kicked out at two! While the referee was distracted, John Silver nearly took off Orange’s head with a pump kick! From the outside, Arn Anderson decked Orange Cassidy! Cody was oblivious to all of this interference from both sides. He connected with the CrossRhodes on Orange Cassidy and pinned him!

My Opinion: 3.7 out of 5 – This was another good match between these two, but the Lumberjack stipulation got in the way of the wrestling half of the time. In some ways, this felt like a WWE match and a pencil in the butt at one point as well. Cassidy felt like an after-thought some of the time, which made this whole thing feel a bit pointless. This was a nice bout, but this was a feeling of nothing being ventured, so nothing was being gained.

Match #4: Serena Deeb def. Leyla Hirsch – NWA World Women’s Championship Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

“Former amateur wrestler,” said J.R. of Hirsch. They locked up in a collar and elbow tie-up. Deeb dropped Leyla after two arm drags. Leyla put some distance in between the two of them. Leyla smacked Deeb with a lariat, and followed up with a double knee stomp in the corner! Deeb used a hanging neck breaker on Hirsch for a near fall! Hirsch walloped Deeb with palm strikes and then a follow-up knee strike to the face! Hirsch utilized a release German suplex on the champ! “She’s a powerhouse,” said Tony Schiavone. Hirsch went up top for a moonsault press but Serena Deeb rolled out of the way! Serena began punishing the neck of Hirsch with neck breakers. Deeb captured the arm and leg of Hirsch and made her tap out from the submission hold! “What a hot streak! She won the title last night and defended it tonight,” said Schiavone.

My Opinion: 4 out of 5 – This was damn good for eight or so minutes and damn good over-all. Deeb kicked ass and Hirsch has potential. You’re getting a lot of mat mastery here, so get used to it. Go watch this one.

Match #5: Shawn Spears with Tully Blanchard def. VSK

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

The broadcast team talked about the bad blood that Spears and Scorpio Sky have against one another. Spears scooped up VSK in a fireman’s carry and then unleashed the C4 on him! Spears effortlessly pinned VSK for the victory! “It was brutal but it was efficient,” said Excalibur.

My Opinion: 0 out of 5 – It was a squash.

Match #6: (Main Event) Kenny Omega def. Penta El Zero Miedo (with Rey Fenix) – World Title Eliminator Tournament Semi-Finals Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

“The man that wins this match will meet ‘Hangman’ Adam Page at FULL GEAR in the World Title Eliminator finals,” noted Excalibur. Penta El Zero Miedo took the place of Rey Fenix in this match, who was injured last week. Omega removed his t-shirt, revealing the Triple A Mega World Championship belt around his waist, the title he won by defeating Rey Fenix. Penta El Zero Miedo challenged Omega to chop him. Omega obliged! Penta El Zero Miedo served up a sizzling chop of his own to Omega! “He asked for it, he really did,” said Schiavone. Penta El Zero Miedo removed his glove and tossed it to the referee but Kenny intercepted it and slapped his opponent in the face with it. “I said chop me!” yelled Kenny. Penta El Zero Miedo wound up for a chop but Kenny didn’t wait, kicking his opponent in the top of the knee. Penta El Zero Miedo went up and over Kenny Omega and connected with a backstabber! It was followed up with a tope con hiro onto Omega! They brawled on the arena floor! Kenny slid an ice cooler into Penta El Zero Miedo’s injured knee. Kenny then DDT’ed him onto the cooler! Omega built up a head of steam and launched himself over the top rope with a tope con hiro, crashing onto Penta El Zero Miedo! “That was perfectly executed,” said Tony Schiavone. Omega was focused and fired up, but Penta El Zero Miedo managed to catch him off guard with a nasty roundhouse kick! Next he took flight and drove Omega to the arena floor with a crossbody block! “These guys are throwing out all the stops here,” said Schiavone. “You can bet ‘Hangman’ Adam Page is sitting on the edge of his seat someplace,” added Jim Ross. Kenny missed the V-trigger and Penta El Zero Miedo countered with a brutal pump kick right in the teeth! He followed up with the sling blade off the middle ropes onto Omega! “Omega kicked out strictly out of desperation. It seems Kenny Omega is fading thanks to the offense of Penta El Zero Miedo,” said Jim Ross. Kenny got right back up to his feet with a sense of urgency, but Penta El Zero Miedo kicked out Kenny’s leg. Next came the diving foot stomp onto Omega! Somehow Kenny kicked out at the two-count! Omega fired back with a snap dragon suplex that was right on target! He hit a second snap dragon suplex! Omega caught Penta El Zero Miedo with a knee, and then a powerbomb, and then finally the V-Trigger! Penta El Zero Miedo kicked out at two! Kenny wasted no time following up with another V-trigger from downtown! He followed up with a leg lariat to the back of the head. And yet another V-trigger, this time to the back of Penta El Zero Miedo’s skull! There was still fight left in Penta El Zero Miedo though, as this time he decimated Kenny with a destroyer from the corner turnbuckles to the entrance ramp! Penta El Zero Miedo stuck Omega with the package piledriver! Omega kicked out! “How he got out of that, J.R., I’ll never know,” said Schiavone. Omega caught Penta El Zero Miedo with a knee right under the chin! Omega tried for the one-winged angel, but Penta El Zero Miedo fought out of it with an arm breaker, snapping Kenny’s arm straight back! This was followed up with a front kick to Kenny’s jaw! “Kenny is out on his feet,” said Schiavone. Penta El Zero Miedo used the ropes as a springboard but landed right into Kenny’s knee! Kenny planted him dead center in the ring with the one-winged angel and scored the pin! “It was a long and winding road but Kenny Omega finally reached his destination,” said Jim Ross.

My Opinion: 4.5 out of 5 – This was a magnificent match that went all over the place and did all kinds of things…like mondo gazangas. These guys smacked the pissalabissaladissalaroo out of each other. Omega was his old self again, looking cocky and evil, just like every young politician when they get away with their first crime. Penta worked hard to look like he could win and that effort paid off, because the match was very convincing. How Penta isn’t getting more title shots is something I don’t understand… If you want a mean, fierce main event, then this will satisfy your cravings for mayhem.

News Of The Night:

  1. MJF and Chris Jericho did a town hall with Eric Bischoff as a guest an Tony Schiavone telling Jericho to shut up.
  2. Chris Jericho fights MJF at Full Gear for MJF’s spot in the Inner Circle.
  3. Shawn Spears and Scorpio Sky are feuding.

Final Verdict: 3.9/5

You had dumb promos and great wrestling…mixed with a dumb squash…but this show was fine by me.

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