13th Oct2020

WWE Raw – Oct 12th 2020: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s review of Monday Night Raw, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and Styx does not suck! You suck! Dennis DeYoung is not a pussy! You’re a pussy! We have night two of the WWE Draft, because it’s time to shuffle the deck and get the same results afterwards. Are you ready to dance? Too f—king bad! Dance! Raw starts…dance damn it! Dance!

Match #1: Kevin Owens def. Aleister Black – No Disqualification Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Kevin Owens and Aleister Black wasted no time going right after each other before the bell could even ring. In a brutal, anything-goes battle, Owens and Black threw everything they could get their hands on at each other as they brawled around ringside. Black slammed Owens into the commentary desk before tables and chairs littered the ring. Owens set up a pile of chairs, hoping to punish Black, only for The Dutch Destroyer to drive him through the unforgiving steel with a vicious knee strike. Black looked to capitalize on the opportunity on the arena floor with Black Mass, but Owens ducked, and his rival’s kick connected with the turnbuckle instead. That gave KO the opening to hit the Stunner, then powerbomb Black through a table to get the victory in this grueling battle.

My Opinion: 3.8 out of 5 – Hell yeah boy! Dis here be sum guud-ass ‘rasslin’! Yee hah! KO and Black went toe to toe and…GACK! “Smart” Mark D. Mark here to take over this feeble wrestling column from Nathan, whose primary goal tonight will be to weep in his mother’s ashes as she brews in a tea cup. Owens and Black took to the violent allowances like a latchkey kid to the attention the guy in the van gives when he waves a lollipop out the window. Brutality was the name of the game folks, like Drew Barrymore in every movie role, TV spot, conversation and breath she has ever taken. These two warriors hit full-throttle and never let-up. Going from one grueling stunt after another, Owens and Black delivered a gripping brawl that would make Robert Blake proud. If only Owens could compete like this all the time, instead of his janitor-on-disability approach to the sport. Of all of the matches these two have had so far, this was easily the best and the most promising for this feud overall. What a hell of an opener…like pliers to my wife’s crotch.

Match #2: AJ Styles def. Jeff Hardy and Seth Rollins – Triple Threat Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The confrontation between Hardy, Styles and Rollins turned into a Triple Threat Match on the spot, with Rollins looking to prove that he still runs things on his final Raw appearance. However, the new arrivals on the red brand proved to be a tough challenge for The Monday Night Messiah. Hardy had victory in his sights after connecting with a Twist of Fate on Styles. But before The Charismatic Enigma could follow up, Elias returned to WWE and smashed his guitar across Hardy’s back, allowing The Phenomenal One to cover Hardy for the three-count.

My Opinion: 3.9 out of 5 – Despite the alcoholic being in here, this match turned out well…spectacular even. From bell to bell, this bout brought breakneck action at high-speed. AJ kept this sucker glued together, like my marriage to your mom. I’d say this had psychology, but that would be like giving Andy Cohen credit for going a whole show without being a putz. I didn’t get my wrestling fix from this, but Daddy did get his wild-as-f—k on with this wild-as-f—k action extravaganza that was only hindered by not getting more time and not having enough wrestling to ground the mayhem.

Match #3: Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke def. Natalya & Lana

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The new duo of Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke continued to establish themselves on Monday nights with a big win over Lana and the winningest women’s Superstar in WWE history, Natalya. Dana Brooke picked up the three-count with a breathtaking senton off The Golden Goddess’ shoulders.

My Opinion: 1.3 out of 5 – Shit…just shit. Natalya was forced to carry three women who have no business being on national TV yet.

Match #4: Angel Garza def. Andrade

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Former teammates clashed on Raw, as Angel Garza and Andrade locked horns. Their former manager, Zelina Vega, watched from the commentary desk. Andrade looked aggressive from the get-go as he pounced on his former partner. However, Garza bounced back and put Andrade down for the three-count with the Wing Clipper.

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – This was two minutes. Are you bull-sh*tting me? Why even bring these two to the show if it’s just for two minutes? Kiss my ass.

Match #5: The New Day def. Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode – Raw Tag Team Championship Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

In their first night on the red brand, newly-minted Raw Tag Team Champions Xavier Woods & Kofi Kingston put their titles on the line against Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode, who had already been drafted to SmackDown. The blue brand’s new Superstars, former champions themselves, put The New Day to the test in their first defense. But Kingston & Woods caught the challengers off-guard with quick tags and put The Glorious One down for the three-count with the Midnight Hour to retain their titles.

My Opinion: 4 out of 5 – This was good…FTR good. Woods actually looked tough…not twink tough, real tough. Both teams were pulling out all sorts of great moves, like me with my mistress, Elexendria Robitussinbayertylenolmotrin. Believe it or not, The New Day managed to not act like assholes in this match. From the start of the bell, the action was at top-speed and revved that engine as it roared down the highway. Do you see what I just did? It’s called writing. Unlike that pathetic twerp Nathan, I can actually write and not just regurgitate references from thirty years ago like a dip-shit. Dolph and Bobby were on a roll here and they just kicked ass. The Apple Dumpling Gang went toe to toe with the challengers and sold this prize fight. I want these two teams to get back together for a part two as soon as possible.

Match #6: Ricochet def. Cedric Alexander (Disqualification)

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Realizing that he may be on the red brand by himself after the WWE Draft, Ricochet approached The Hurt Business with a proposition for a match: If Ricochet wins, The Hurt Business must leave him alone. If he loses, Ricochet would join The Hurt Business. Cedric Alexander stepped up and offered to take on The One and Only himself. With the rest of The Hurt Business at ringside, Ricochet looked to be at a clear disadvantage, especially when Alexander collided with the referee when Ricochet kicked out of a Michinoku Driver. MVP slid a chair into the ring toward Alexander, but Ricochet intercepted it. The highflyer then took a page out of WWE Hall of Famer Eddie Guerrero’s book, slamming the chair into the canvas, then tossing it to Alexander as he dropped to the mat. The official, seeing Alexander with the chair in his hands and Ricochet on the mat, had no choice but to award the match to Ricochet, who outsmarted The Hurt Business and ensured that they cannot bother him anymore.

My Opinion: 3.2 out of 5 – This may not have gone very long, but it was good while it was going on, which is more than I can say for any Ryan Murphy show ever made. Ricochet ripped-off Eddie Guerrero for the finish, which is better than ripping-off Dana Plato’s finish.

Match #7: (Main Event) Lana won a Dual-Brand Battle Royal to earn a Raw Women’s Championship opportunity

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The Battle Royal kicked off with the field ganging up on WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler. The champions fared alright at first, with Jax saving The Queen of Spades, but Baszler did not return the favor, helping the other women dump The Irresistible Force over the top rope to eliminate her. That sent Jax into a rage that culminated with her driving Lana through the commentary table for the fourth straight week. The battle looked to be down to Natalya and Lacey Evans after the two eliminated The Riott Squad. Natalya and The Sassy Southern Belle were hanging on by their fingers as they battled along the ring apron, until Natalya slammed her into the ringpost and dropped Evans to the arena floor. Natalya thought she had won the match and title opportunity, but everyone had forgotten about Lana. After being dumped earlier in the night by Natalya, The Ravishing Russian snuck up behind her former friend and knocked her off the apron to win the Battle Royal and earn the right to challenge for Asuka’s Raw Women’s Championship.

My Opinion: 2.8 out of 5 – Lana won, so you know this was a waste of time. The wrestling was weak, yet it functioned well enough. Okay, that’s enough of this shit.

News Of The Night:

  1. The Raw and SmackDown Tag Titles were traded between the respective champions, The New Day and The Street Profits (stupid).
  2. Bray Wyatt and Alexa Bliss attacked Andrade and Zelina Vega.
  3. Elias attacked Jeff Hardy for retribution against his car accident earlier this year.
  4. Randy Orton and Drew McIntyre brawled two open and close the show.
  5. Keith Lee fights Braun Strowman, next week.
  6. Here are the final WWE Draft results:
    WWE Network Exclusive Announcement
    Raw: Gran Metalik & Lince Dorado
    SmackDown: Shorty G
    Round 1
    SmackDown: SmackDown Women’s Champion Bayley
    Raw: Randy Orton
    SmackDown: Raw Tag Team Champions The Street Profits
    Raw: Charlotte Flair
    Round 2
    Raw: Braun Strowman
    SmackDown: Daniel Bryan
    Raw: Matt Riddle
    SmackDown: Kevin Owens
    Raw: Jeff Hardy
    Round 3
    Raw: RETRIBUTION (Mustafa Ali, T-Bar, Mace, Slapjack, Reckoning)
    SmackDown: Lars Sullivan
    Raw: Keith Lee
    SmackDown: King Corbin
    Raw: Alexa Bliss
    Round 4
    Raw: Elias
    SmackDown: Intercontinental Champion Sami Zayn
    Raw: Lacey Evans
    SmackDown: Shinsuke Nakamura & Cesaro
    Raw: Sheamus
    Round 5
    Raw: Nikki Cross
    SmackDown: Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode
    Raw: The 24/7 Champion R-Truth
    SmackDown: Apollo Crews
    Raw: Dabba-Kato
    Round 6
    Raw: Titus O’Neil
    SmackDown: Carmella
    Raw: Peyton Royce
    SmackDown: Aleister Black
    Raw: Akira Tozawa
    Round 7 (Announced on WWE Raw Talk)
    Raw: Lana
    SmackDown: Natalya
    Raw: Riddick Moss
    SmackDown: The Riott Squad
    Raw: Arturo Ruas

Final Verdict: 3.5/5

The wrestling was right where it needed to be half the time, but the lame action in the other half, combined with some pedantic booking kept this show from greatness. Well, “Smart” Mark D. Mark has had enough of this pathetic show and you feeble people. Get lost!

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