WWE Raw – Sept 7th 2020: Results & Review

Welcome to this week’s review of WWE Monday Night Raw, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have…well, whatever it is, it’s gotta be better than AEW All Out. Tony Khan almost killed Matt Hardy and it pissed me off. I hope Raw is better than that train-wreck of a PPV, because if it isn’t, I’ll choke a Smurf. Okay, it’s time for RAWWWWWWWWWWW…to not be so bad any-more.

Match #1: The Hurt Business (Bobby Lashley, MVP and Shelton Benjamin) def. Apollo Crews, Cedric Alexander and Ricochet

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Apollo Crews, Ricochet & Cedric Alexander arrived ready for a fight with The Hurt Business. But MVP, Bobby Lashley & Shelton Benjamin jumped Alexander before the bell, putting their opponents on the defensive. That attack may have awoken something in Alexander, as he ambushed Ricochet, then dropped Crews with a Lumbar Check, allowing a thrilled Hurt Business to pick up the win.

My Opinion: 2.7 out of 5 – This was pretty simple and easy, but it was never terrible either. The moves were quick and exact, like Bethelda Mashiagos and her gyrating hips. You gotta get down with the baddest muthafukken match to…wait, this was decent at best.

Match #2: The Street Profits def. Angel Garza and Andrade

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

In a SummerSlam rematch, Andrade & Angel Garza looked to catapult themselves back into the Raw Tag Team Title picture. However, they once again could not get on the same page, leading to Garza turning his back on Andrade and Zelina Vega and walking out on the match, leaving Andrade to fall to Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford.

My Opinion: 2.4 out of 5 – This didn’t really go anywhere, but not for a lack of trying. There weren’t any white guys here, so Vince wasn’t paying attention. Hey, this went two minutes. What the hell do you want from me? I can’t review some-thing so short without pretending I can command the Pregnant Sea. Okay, the right team won and…you want a Salmon Salad Sandwich with a glass of Clam Juice?

Match #3: Peyton Royce def. Billie Kay

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Just one week removed from being forced to split up, The IIconics clashed for the first time ever on Raw. In a heated battle between the best friends, Peyton Royce emerged victorious after connecting with Déjà vu for the three-count.

My Opinion: 2.6 out of 5 – Royce and Kay had a nice exchange here that never had a chance to show how good it was, but it wasn’t bad either. Royce was the better of the two, but Kay showed more than she has in the past. Hey, a good time is a good time and this was…good.

Match #4: Asuka and Mickie James def. Lana and Natalya

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Though they’ll be squaring off for the Raw Women’s Title next week, Asuka & Mickie James teamed up this week to battle the duo of Natalya & Lana. Even though they weren’t quite on the same page, with Asuka herself tagging into the match as James thought she had things under control, the champion and her challenger picked up the win when Asuka ensnared The Ravishing Russian in the Asuka Lock.

My Opinion: 2.8 out of 5 – This was mostly Asuka and Mickie showing off how effortless they can be and still look legitimate. I wanted this to go longer, but I also want a walrus with huge tits, so here we are. Babe-A-Roo, Hard-Bodied Raccoon, Mother Coconuts…will not be working in our coal mine, because this was a middling match with the right winners.

Match #5: The Hurt Business def. The Viking Raiders, Apollo Crews & Ricochet

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After explaining that he was tired of being beaten down and sacrificing his body for others’ championship aspirations, Cedric Alexander was officially welcomed into The Hurt Business and immediately put to the test, as Apollo Crews & Ricochet arrived with The Viking Raiders to throw down. In an Eight-Man Tag Team battle, Alexander proved himself to be a worthy addition to The Hurt Business, pinning Ricochet to pick up the win for his new crew. However, Ricochet may have a bone to pick, as replays showed that he got his shoulder up before the referee counted three.

My Opinion: 3.3 out of 5 – This turned very well in the final third after the match built slowly and surely to what could be called a fun match….but I call it shit…kidding! The match had a lot of smart, crisp action that was paced right and never looked weak. The right team won and made the whole thing worthy of being booked at all.

Match #6: Randy Orton def. Keith Lee (Disqualification)

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

In this rematch from WWE Payback, Randy Orton looked to have Keith Lee on the ropes after an RKO. However, the match was brought to an abrupt conclusion when WWE Champion Drew McIntyre arrived, despite being asked to leave the WWE ThunderDome earlier in the night. Still seeking to dish out another helping of payback, the WWE Champion dropped The Viper with a second Claymore.

My Opinion: 3.4 out of 5 – SHHHHHHH! SHUSH! I’m reviewing! Orton and Lee had a slow, deliberate exchange that made Lee look tough and smart. Orton made himself available for Lee to kick around like an orphan in their new parents’ house. The Impossible Puzzle is 10,000 pieces of fun that don’t match, so your kids will go insane, like I did when this match didn’t have a finish. SpeechBox is a great way to do a karaoke of all your favorite rousing speeches and this match was getting somewhere, but it broke down on Highway 95 and never got running again.

Match #7: The Riott Squad def. Shayna Baszler – 2-on-1 Handicap Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

WWE Women’s Tag Team Champion Shayna Baszler may have thought she had the advantage against The Riott Squad in this Handicap Match. However, The Queen of Spades spent more time bickering with her partner, Nia Jax, at ringside. That provided a distraction that allowed Liv Morgan to roll Baszler up for the three-count.

My Opinion: 2.6 out of 5 – My Little Coping Mechanism will help you kiss Grandma’s ass good-bye…OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!! Shayna losing this moderately enjoyable match was the right call, because a tag team should not just lose at the drop of a Crotch Watch…know when it is in the dick of time! Hey, Ruby won a match…go figure.

Match #8: The Riott Squad vs. Nia Jax – 2-on-1 Handicap Match (No Contest)

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Nia Jax was supposed to take on The Riott Squad in a second Handicap Match. But just as the fight began to turn in Ruby Riott & Liv Morgan’s favor, the lights in the WWE ThunderDome went out. Soon, the faction known as RETRIBUTION took over the broadcast, sending their first official message to WWE – “The darkness of RETRIBUTION will seep into the pores of every Superstar and all of your so-called Universe!”

My Opinion: 2.1 out of 5 – This was…it ended with RETRIBUTION doing a hacking thing, so there that is.

Match #9: (Main Event) Dominik Mysterio def. Murphy – Street Fight

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

For Raw’s main event, the Mysterio family came to ringside armed with Kendo sticks. But they chose to stay out of this battle for the most part, letting Dominik fight the battle himself. The son of Rey Mysterio fought valiantly, but Murphy was able to turn the tides and tie Dominik in the ropes, ready to unleash another Kendo stick attack. However, Mysterio distracted Murphy by grabbing the stick, allowing his wife Angie and daughter Aalyah to untie Dominik. Rey & Dominik eventually got Murphy ensnared in the ropes, and the entire Mysterio family unleashed a Kendo stick attack on the wayward disciple of Seth Rollins. With nowhere to go, Murphy verbally submitted, giving Dominik the victory. But after months of torment at the hands of Murphy & Rollins, after the gruesome injury Rey suffered at Rollins’ hands in the Eye for an Eye Match, after the brutal attack The Monday Night Messiah & his disciple inflicted on Dominik, the Mysterio family finally got the payback they deserved and continued to give Murphy a taste of his own medicine as Raw went off the air.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This match is all about the final third of the action, with an incredible table spot and a mammoth barrage of kendo stick shots to a prone Murphy that became an event all its own. The match was mostly a nice, simple brawl that grew more dramatic as time went on, but once the table spot happened, this became a free-for-all that could not be missed. This ended the show on a high that was absolutely necessary to save a show that was too lame for its own good.

News Of The Night:

1. Drew McIntyre spent the whole night beating the shit out of Randy Orton.
2. Asuka defends the Raw Women’s Title against Mickie James, next week.
3. Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura fight The Street Profits, next week in Champions Vs. Champions.
4. R-Truth and Akira Tozawa did their normal weird shtick over the 24/7 Title in a skit.
5. Cedric Alexander betrayed Ricochet and Apollo Crews to join The Hurt Business.
6. RETRIBUTION cut a promo and said they are WWE outcasts who want to destroy the league.

Final Verdict: 2.5/5

The main event was a lot of fun and there you go, Idaho.