‘All Elite Wrestling: Dark’ Review (Aug 25th 2020)
Welcome to this week’s All Elite Wrestling: Dark review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candyman…CANDYMAN! I…it’s, it’s it’s…Mickey Rooney? Mickey Rooney: Jimminy-jillikers! Well, we have thirteen matches for this review, because thirteen is a lucky number. There are some good wrestlers on this card, so let’s get to watching…
Match #1: Best Friends def. Demetri Jackson and Storm Thomas
My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – This was far too short for a match so prepared to knock your socks off. Every-body worked hard to keep the pace up and they were successful. This wasn’t so action oriented, but it was steady wrestling that never faltered. I liked what was here, but I wanted more of it.
Match #2: Shawn Spears def. Jessy Sorensen
My Opinion: 1.9 out of 5 – This was a five minute squa…SQUUUUUUUAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Match #3: Mel def. Red Velvet
My Opinion: 2.7 out of 5 – This was pretty good, for a…FRICKIN’ SQUAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!
Match #4: Lance Archer def. D3
My Opinion: 1.8 out of 5 – If I have to see another squash match, not just on this show, but with Archer, I’m gonna hurl.
Match #5: Luther and Serpentico def. The Initiative
My Opinion: 2 out of 5 – This was longer, but it was very slow as well, at least in the transitions. Serpentico impressed me here, because he was very swift in his movements but never too fast too see. Luther still looks a thousand years past his prime, but he tries and that’s the main thing. All in all, this was fine, but not very enjoyable.
Match #6: Nyla Rose def. KiLynn King
My Opinion: 1.5 out of 5 – This was another squash.
Match #7: The Gunn Club def. Baron Black and Frank Stone
My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – This was slow, but decent, with The Gunns firing off a couple of accurate rounds for several minutes, but never quite on the bullseye.
Match #8: Penelope Ford def. Heather Monroe
My Opinion: 2.4 out of 5 – This was a few minutes of Ford on offense and showing her progress, but that’s it.
Match #9: Santana and Ortiz def. The Metro Brothers
My Opinion: 2 out of 5 – This was a long squash….that’s it.
Match #10: Ricky Starks def. Shawn Dean
My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – These two went together like turtles and whores. Starks has tremendous skill, so much so that it’s a crime he’s not farther along in his career already. Dean worked hard to keep his end of the deal strong. All in all, for match that won’t be easily remembered, at least it was easy to watch.
Match #11: Jake Hager def. Marko Stunt
My Opinion: 2 out of 5 – Stunt was wasted in a squash match that did nothing for Hager.
Match #12: Frankie Kazarian def. Kip Sabian
My Opinion: 3.3 out of 5 – This was simple, but had time to breathe. Kazarian won and should have, but Sabian also showed why he is so close to getting a push up the card. The wrestling was fluid and quick, but never beyond the eye’s reach, if you catch my drift. This one had a lot of spirit and it helped save this show.
Match #13: (Main Event) The Hybrid 2 def. Joey Janela and Sonny Kiss
My Opinion: 3.4 out of 5 – This actually got somewhere, but it always had to get clipped back to make the shorter time frame. It’s a shame that this was hindered by the booking, but the wrestlers made it work and got some damn stuff done. Evans really shined here, which was made better by him winning. While no masterpiece, this was a fitting way to cap a dull card.
News Of The Night:
- Vickie Guerrero announced that her alliance with Nyla Rose is called The Vicious Vixens.
- Best Friends jumped Santana and Ortiz to continue the rivalry.
Final Verdict: 2.2/5
What a long, weak way to waste so many great wrestlers. Squash matches do not work, with very few exceptions, so why book so many? Who is going to pay for a squash? Would you pay for a squash…besides at the grocery store?
