10th Aug2020

‘WWE 205 Live’ Review (Aug 7th 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s 205 Live review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and I was un-able to watch this show, so let’s give a cold and distant welcome to “Smart” Mark D. Mark.

Greetings to all you feeble nit-wits! “Smart” Mark D. Mark here with a review of a show featuring the filthy, disgusting cruiserweights, who wouldn’t know psychology if their shrink spoon-fed them the goods. I thank Nathan Favel for allowing me to commandeer this review while he cries himself into a stupor while his mom’s ashes collect dust. Let’s venture into the world of vanilla midgets dying a slow, painful death while real men make money from head-locks and arm-bars…ARM-BARS!!!!! Alright, it’s time to walk the Vanilla Mile and go get a lethal injection of smark non-sense.

Match #1: Ever-Rise def. Mikey Spandex & Marquis Carter

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Ever-Rise believes they are the best tag team in 205 Live history, but the duo needed to get build momentum in the ring to back up their talk out of it. After being humbled by the NXT Tag Team Champions Imperium, Chase Parker & Matt Martel took out their frustrations on an upstart duo. Spandex & Carter had a couple glimmers of hope, but Ever-Rise was all business and their cohesion helped put them over the top. Martel teed up Carter for Parker to put the finishing touches on the match, as Ever-Rise began building their case to be a dominant force on the purple brand.

My Opinion: 2.6 out of 5 – Ever-Rise sounds like a reference to erections, so at least there’s that. There’s some wrestling in here, but there’s just the same in my pants when I go to my family reunion. Spandex? Who’s naming these hyucks these days, the Fashion Police? This was middling entertainment, just like when the Hindenburg crashed.

Match #2: (Main Event) Danny Burch def. Tony Nese

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

A lot of competitors would be down and out after a brutal attack from Karrion Kross, but Danny Burch kept doing the only thing he knows: Fight. It was a stiff follow-up for Burch as Tony Nese brought his own aggression into the ring as two of the purple brands traded blows early on. Burch would gain control, but the return of Ariya Daivari helped spin the match out of control. A week after warning the 205 Live locker room, Daivari came storming back and targeted Oney Lorcan. The motivations of Daivari’s attack were unclear, but Nese’s hesitation prevented him from capitalizing on the distraction. An enraged Burch battled back to deliver a thunderous DDT and pinned The Premier Athlete in an ultimate show of resilience.

My Opinion: 3.8 out of 5 – This needed more time, but we actually got a wrestling match here, rather than a stunt show courtesy of the geek-squad. I like it when these wrestlers actually know how to wrestle, unlike that two-bit hack Randy Savage…ELBOW DROP!!!! Burch and Nese went back-and-forth like men, ladies and gentlemen, like men. There’s some fantastic fighting here and if you love ground and pound like I do (especially when the rate is cheap), then you’ll love this as much as I love Nathan’s mom with a cup of water and twenty minutes at 350 degrees. Overall, this was a hell of a main event.

News Of The Night:

  1. Ariya Daivari returned to attack Oney Lorcan.

Final Verdict: 3.5/5

One match was so good it made the other worth suffering through. Good night you twits.

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