31st Jul2020

‘All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite’ Review (July 29th 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and My Girl Bill better not do it with Jim Swafford or I’ll replace her with the Maytag mascot. We’ve got The Joker telling Anne Murraaaaaay that she can’t sing a lick, which is also how a lot of singers get record deals (think about it). Okay, we’ve got Warhorse and Steven Spielberg behind him for re-shoots, so let’s dive right into the fun…THE FUN!!!!

Match #1: Orange Cassidy, Jungle Boy, Luchasaurus and Best Friends (Chuck Taylor & Trent) def. The Inner Circle (Chris Jericho, Sammy Guevara, Jake Hager and Santana & Ortiz)

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

“Aubrey Edwards has her work cut out for her tonight,” observed Tony Schiavone. Orange and Hager began the match for their respective teams (after Jericho quickly and cowardly tagged out when the bell rang). Cassidy was outsmarting Hager with arm drags when suddenly chaos broke out and both teams went at it! “We really need two referees for a match like this,” insisted Jim Ross. Luchasaurus (with Marko Stunt on his back) jumped off the apron and crashed down onto the Inner Circle on the outside of the ring! After a Jurassic-sized Best Friends group hug, Sammy tried to ambush them but Luchasaurus caught him by the throat. Order was finally restored by ref Aubrey Edwards, and Jericho seized the moment to attack Trent. The Inner Circle singled out Trent. They began stomping on him in their corner. “It’s a five-man beat down on Trent,” noted Taz. Santana and Ortiz hit a double vertical suplex on Trent. “They have a lot of upside,” said Jim Ross. Sammy clotheslined Trent and tagged in Hager, who began to stretch Trent. He hit a suplex on Trent! Luchasaurus got the tag and cleaned house on the Inner Circle! He spiraled forward with the Spinning Lizard kick on Sammy! Jericho tried to interfere with the baseball bat but Orange Cassidy pulled him down off the ring apron, neutralizing him. Sammy was about to jump off the top rope when Matt Hardy’s music hit! Sammy was distracted just long enough for Hardy to push him off the top rope, directly into Luchasaurus’ powerful grip! Luchasaurus pinned Sammy while Matt Hardy taunted Sammy!

My Opinion: 2.7 out of 5 – There was mayhem at the beginning and chaos at the end, but not much in the middle, so this could simply be regarded as a very vibrant bit of white noise (like my mind). If you like Marko Stunt doing spots, then this might be to your liking, but outside of that, it’s OC doing his shtick for eternity.

Match #2: Cody [Rhodes] (with Arn Anderson) def. Warhorse – TNT Dynamite Title Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

“This might be the biggest opportunity that Warhorse ever gets,” said Taz. They locked up in the center of the ring with Cody getting control of Warhorse’s wrist. Cody had an opportunity to chop Warhorse but passed on it. Warhorse wasted no time though, chopping Cody and taking him down with an arm drag! Cody was frustrated and rolled out of the ring. “Don’t let your anger get in the way of your talent,” warned Arn Anderson. They crisscrossed the ring but Warhorse caught Cody with a lariat. Cody rallied back with a superplex for a near fall on Warhorse. Cody seemed more confident now and started doing push-ups. The champ stomped on Warhorse and then wrenched on his lower back. He followed up with a figure four but Warhorse countered it, putting the pressure on Cody’s knee! “Warhorse showing a lot of energy and exuberance here,” said Taz. Warhorse walloped Cody with chops and a back elbow, and then began headbanging! Warhorse climbed to the top rope and then double-stomped the back of Cody’s neck! He followed up with a Macho Man-like elbow from the top turnbuckle for a (very) near fall on Cody! “Warhorse is outwrestling the champion,” said Jim Ross. Warhorse jumped off the top rope but Cody moved! Warhorse jammed his leg in the process. Cody locked on the figure four and Warhorse had no choice but to tap!

My Opinion: 3.2 out of 5 – Warhorse did a fine job with Cody, who was actually kinda dull here, even when he was doing things the right way. There’s plenty of energy in this match, but the content was just the basics, sadly. Fortunately, Warhorse impressed and felt like a major attraction, so he ought to get another shot at some TV time in the near future, if there’s any justice.

Match #3: Kenny Omega & Adam Page def. The Dark Order (Evil Uno & Stu Grayson) – AEW World Tag Team Championship Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Colt Cabana joined the commentary team for this match. Mr. Brodie Lee and Anna Jay stood by Colt. Evil Uno and Stu Grayson jumped Page before the bell rang, while Kenny was still coming out on the ramp, being introduced by Justin Roberts. Colt implied that perhaps Kenny was a little slow coming to assist Page in the ring. Despite the dissension that Colt was suggesting, the tag champs worked like a well-oiled machine, hitting tandem offense left and right on The Dark Order! Grayson blasted Page with a nasty knee strike! Evil Uno and Grayson hit Page with a suplex/thrust kick combo! Omega finally got the tag and used a moonsault on Grayson. Page tagged in but despite this, the momentum shifted heavily back in The Dark Order’s favor. Evil Uno and Grayson were decimating the champs with smooth offense. Dark Order nearly had the match won until Page broke the pin just in time! Page powerbombed Evil Uno! Kenny defended with the V-Trigger but Uno kicked out! The champs (barely) finished off The Dark Order after the Buckshot Lariat/V-Trigger combo!

My Opinion: 3.2 out of 5 – This was meat and potatoes, but the potatoes did taste good, if they were a bit under-cooked (like most disco songs). There’s a lot of stopping and starting here that looked fine on its own, but never led to anything that felt like a true prize fight.

Match #4: Hikaru Shida def. Diamante

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

The title was not on the line tonight. Shida offered to shake hands but Diamante pushed her away. She pulled Shida by the hair and started the ground and pound attack! They brawled to the outside of the ring. Shida draped Diamante across the steel guardrail and hit the running knee strike! Shida blasted Diamante with a missile dropkick back in the ring! The two stood toe to toe and exchanged strikes! Shida stunned Diamante with a forearm and then followed up with another running knee! Shida tried to power Diamante up to the top rope, but Diamante chopped her away. “Quick hands! A lot of rage in Diamante,” noted Taz. Diamante used a cutter for a near fall on Shida. She kicked Shida in the abdomen but Shida had enough. She used a devastating standing vertical suplex and then a running knee strike to pin Diamante!

My Opinion: 3.3 out of 5 – This was simple, easy action that packed a lot of wallop in just one shot. Diamante was vicious here and it felt like she could rip Shida in half, which works since Shida has a similar appeal, if only in a different way. This is one of the best pairings you can have in AEW’s Women’s division, because it just looks like a fight, even when they were sticking to basic wrestling moves.

Match #5: (Main Event) Jon Moxley & Darby Allin def. Brian Cage & Ricky Starks (with Taz) – No Disqualification Tornado Tag Team Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Darby’s music played but he never made an entrance. Moxley’s music played and he came out by himself to the ring. Taz was backstage with Cage and Starks. Taz laughed and asked Mox where his partner was tonight. As Starks and Cage walked to the ring, Darby nailed them with a Coffin Drop from the entrance tunnel! “It was a trap!” said Taz, who was back at the broadcast table. It didn’t take long for all hell to break loose! Cage grabbed Darby and started doing bicep curls with him. Moxley sprinted and launched himself through the ropes onto Cage! Starks and Cage double-teamed Moxley inside the ring until Darby hit a missile dropkick on the FTW Champ! Mox put Starks in a sleeper but Cage hit him with a fierce forearm from behind. Mox chucked a metal chair at Starks’ head! Darby connected with a cutter on Cage! Starks hit a spear! Mox ducked a discus lariat from Cage and German suplexed him! Mox put Cage in the arm bar but Starks broke up the submission attempt. Cage and Starks planted Mox onto a metal garbage can! They had the match won until Darby broke the pin attempt! Darby used a Coffin Drop onto Cage, who was being held by Mox. The momentum from the Coffin Drop supplied extra power to Mox’s Paradigm Shift on Cage! It was tremendous teamwork from Mox and Darby. Mox had Cage isolated in an armbar on the apron. As this was going on, Darby pulled out a skateboard that had an underbelly of thumbtacks! Darby jumped off the top rope with the skateboard beneath his feet. With all of his weight and the skateboard, Darby landed on Starks’ back! Darby pinned Starks, who had a back that now resembled a bleeding pin cushion!

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was swift, brisk and crisp, like a stiff, bitter glass of Fresca…the soda of losers (like me). Everything in this match was a thousand miles an hour and Darby was a psycho the whole time (that’s what his girlfriend said too). Starks getting cut open by the thumb-tack skateboard looked like it did a lot of damage to his back, which was just the final offense in a match where needless bumps were taken on the ring apron (I hate that sh*t) and the like and such. It may have been the best fight of the card, but it was also the most reckless of the bunch and promoted the worst habits of wrestling. Overall, this was a stunning end to the card, but one that needed more care put into it.

News Of The Night:

  1. Matt Hardy returned to attack Sammy Guevara, which re-activates their feud.
  2. Matt Cardona (Zack Ryder) debuted by saving Cody from The Dark Order.
  3. FTR signed their contracts to join AEW.
  4. On August 12th, Dynamite will be Tag Team Appreciation Night with FTR hosting.
  5. Adam Page is still being teased as a friend of FTR.
  6. In two weeks, Chris Jericho fights Orange Cassidy, with a special (stupid) debate next week between the two to be moderated by a special (better not be stupid) person.
  7. Jon Moxley defends the AEW World Title against Darby Allin, next week.
  8. MJF cut a great promo on seeking a presidential campaign to become AEW World Champion at All Out, but it still was a waste of time (took way too long and had too much bull-shit).
  9. Dr. Britt Baker will give Big Swole a shot at her, but only if she can defeat an opponent of Baker’s choosing.
  10. After the rules for Deadly Draw Tag Tournament were explained, Nyla Rose and Vickie Guerrero randomly picked Ariane Andrews (WWE’s Cameron) as her partner.
  11. Kenny Omega was teased as being evil by Brodie Lee.

Final Verdict: 3.2/5

This was energetic and exciting TV, but not quality wrestling, even when the score was fine.

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