13th Jul2020

‘Vampire Burt’s Serenade’ VOD Review

by Phil Wheat

Stars: Kevin Scott Richardson, Diva Zappa, Brian Gaskill, Brandon Heitkamp, Dylan Kenin, Clay Wilcox, Max Faugno, Sharon Ferguson, Lori Scarlett, Laura Martin, Jabez Zuniga, Tracey Leigh, Sam Given, Henry McMillan, Lucy Griffin, Marvin ‘Josh’ Solomon, Kenneth Hughes, Shannon Hart Cleary, Lake Sharp, Sharyn-Genel Gabriel, Danièle Watts, Denna Thomsen, Julie Bolene, Suzie Q, May-Har Li, Catherine Alfonso, Ryan Alan Jones, Austin Westbay, Amber Mercomes, Lauren Gilroy, Michael Teoli, Alexandra Kennedy | Written and Directed by Ken Roht

Written and directed by Ken Roht, Vampire Burt’s Serenade stars Kevin Scott Richardson of the Backstreet Boys as the titular vampire Burt who seems to enjoy chomping his way through Hollywood’s club scene, biting down on L.A.’s young clubbers. However things go horribly wrong for Burt when, after the fetching Connie (Diva Zappa, daughter of Frank Zappa) is turned into a zombie, a squad of vengeful strippers vows bloody retribution, determined to kill him.

Billed as a horror musical comedy Vampire Burt’s Serenade is a least one of those things… there are musical numbers! As for horror – well there is none, besides the overall theme of vampires and the undedad. In terms of comedy… Err, can we count the film being laughably bad as comedy? Because none of the jokes in this film land, at all. There’s a “joke” about one of Burt’s victims turning bisexual now he’s a vampire too as all vampires are, according to the cliches and stereotypes, bisexual but that’s literally in the first five minutes and it’s all downhill from there. And that’s not even really that funny!

Feeling less like a film and more like an overwrought, over-extended music video – complete with dutch angles, out-of-focus shots and hyper-kinetic camera work, Vampire Burt’s Serenade is truly an amateur-hour production. Amateur as in amateur performances, amateur cinematography, amateur scripting… At least the songs, which harken back to the likes of The Rocky Horror Picture Show in their lyrical content, are OK; though I doubt anyone will be hailing this movie as a cult classic like Jim Sharman’s film any time in the future. The only reason anyone will remember this is for just how the hell the filmmakers got a Backstreet Boy AND Frank Zappa’s daughter to appear in this low-budget monstrosity?

There MUST be an audience for this time of film but it’s safe to say I’m NOT the target audience. But then if there is an audience for this film, why didn’t they discover it back when it was originally released in 2014 under the title of The Bloody Indulgent? Which, by the way, is also the perfect way to describe this movie: a bloody indulgent mess!

Vampire Burt’s Serenade is out now on Amazon Prime. Good job it’s free is all I’m saying…

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