01st Jun2020

‘All Elite Wrestling: Dark’ Review (May 26th 2020

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s All Elite Wrestling: Dark review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have…AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! We’ve been f—— robbed! Where’s the Camberet? My Lyndatto sculpture?! The Rings of M’fulche?! Every piece of art has been pilfered like a virgin’s sweet cherry! I’m going to smash Pandetti when I see that little Italian! Well, while I mourn the death of my Shangri-La, perhaps you’ll enjoy the buffet of semi-nudified flesh that leaps across the canvas. Oh! The f—— Pfhindala! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Match #1: Natural Nightmares (Dustin Rhodes & QT Marshall) def. John Silver and Alex Reynolds

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – I enjoyed this, with S&R really doing the big work here. It’s nice to see both of them getting to shine with ol’ Dustin and QT. As matches go, this was meaty and mean, but never too showy. What is this…a f—— sissy-britches auction in Austin, Texas? I’d love to see S&R get more of a push, but getting on the show is a deserved first step.

Match #2: Michael Nakazawa def. Brandon Cutler (Count-Out)

My Opinion: 2.9 out of 5 – This was doing pretty well, but the count-out kinda cut this off a bit too early. Both of these guys laid out a proper match with the holds and transitions paced properly. The match was also built to go longer, so ending too quickly caused it all to feel like it was stopping pre-maturely. Cutler is coming along nicely, showing more personality in hefty doses. Nakazawa actually wrestled and that’s a bit of a rarity in AEW. Overall, there’s a good match here that simply got shot in the balls before it could ever finish.

Match #3: Jungle Boy def. Peter Avalon

My Opinion: 3.2 out of 5 – These two matched-up well and teased a far better match for down the line. Avalon has really come along as a personality over the years. I never thought he’d look like an anorexic Rick Rude, but here we are. JB feels like he’s becoming a bigger star all the time and this match was no exception to that feeling. They had a solid foundation for all of the things that make for a smart bout, but not a thrilling one (it was fun, though). I’d like to see this get repeated on Dynamite, if Tony is taking requests (he’s not).

Match #4: Christopher Daniels def. Serpentico

My Opinion: 2.9 out of 5 – This felt like it went by too fast. Daniels and Serpentico worked well together and made the most of a short amount of time.

Match #5: Sonny Kiss and Joey Janela def. John Skyler and Brady Pierce

My Opinion: 2.7 out of 5 – Kiss won a match…holy shit. Joey won a match. Who’d Joey blow to get a victory? I can’t believe that Sonny Kiss and Joey Janela are at such a deficit of wins in the league that pays them good money to even be on pay-roll. Skyler and Pierce did well as well, so there you f—— go.

Match #6: Kip Sabian and Jimmy Havoc def. Faboo Andre and Tony Donati

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – This was just another stinkin’ squash match…with FABOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I love Faboo! Who is he?

Match #7: Wardlow def. Grimm

My Opinion: 2.1 out of 5 – Filthy f—— squash match!

Match #8: Colt Cabana def. Lee Johnson

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – Three squash matches in a row…shit.

Match #9: Penelope Ford def. Kilynn King

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – This wasn’t much, but it wasn’t terrible…I think. Ford is getting better, but it wasn’t enough to make the match with King work.

Match #10: (Main Event) Best Friends (w/ Orange Cassidy) def. Alan Angels and Shawn Dean

My Opinion: 2.7 out of 5 – This was just a few minutes of The OC Show, but there are worse things to be stuck watching. There’s nothing bad in here, but this was a let-down, considering that the show started off so well. Well, at least we didn’t have a screwy finish.

Final Verdict: 2.8/5

This show was doing well, but it dipped in the second half.


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