19th May2020

WWE Raw – May 18th 2020: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Monday Night Raw review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and two tragedies have hit professional wrestling, with the disappearance of Shad Gaspard via a rip-tide and the death of iconic wrestling journalist Larry Csonka. In honor of the two we have lost, here’s a stupid joke about Stephen King:

Stephen King: My new story is about a flying vacuum that shoots radioactive Kate Mosses at the children, who are made of The Hollywood Reporter gone Lyle Lovett like a car crash up a chicken’s ass…

Publisher: Steve, are you drinking again?

Stephen: Define, a lot…

Like Dave Coulier once said, The Olson Twins won’t f— me…because they’re smart. Have you seen Christina Ricci in The Opposite Of Sex? Instead of the usual stuff, she just puts her clothes on and leaves. Nipsy Russell liked the damn joke so why can’t you?! Michael Caine wore a woman’s dress to kill Angie Dickinson and Raw starts…ball goes back to center, to left, to center, back to left and back to center, holding, holding, holding, holding!

Match #1: (Buddy) Murphy def. Humberto Carrillo

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

When Humberto Carrillo came to confront The Monday Night Messiah for his brutal attack one week ago on Rey Mysterio, Seth Rollins’ disciple Murphy stepped up to take on Carrillo, even though he had a match with Aleister Black scheduled for later in the night. With a helping hand from Rollins, Murphy put Carrillo down for the three-count with Murphy’s Law. But when Murphy refused to stop the attack after the bell, Black rushed to the ring to start the fisticuffs a little early with Murphy. Rollins’ disciple ducked a Black Mass and escaped, opting to save himself for their upcoming match.

My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – Why would you book such a good pairing so short? These guys were doing well until it ended before it could begin. I could kick Lisa Kudrow’s ass and this match was fun while it lasted.

Match #2: Charlotte Flair def. Ruby Riott

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Just days before her Champion vs. Champion Match with SmackDown Women’s Champion Bayley on SmackDown, NXT Women’s Champion Charlotte Flair continued to show why she’s quite possibly the hardest-working Superstar in WWE. The Queen took on Ruby Riott, who put in an impressive performance but had to tap out once Flair locked in the Figure-Eight.

My Opinion: 2.7 out of 5 – This was yet another short match that had plenty of potential, but got cut off before it could bibbity my bobbity-boop.

Match #3: Bobby Lashley def. R-Truth

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The All Mighty was not in the mood for any of R-Truth or Pretty Ricky’s antics. Lashley caught Truth and smashed him into the ring post, then manhandled R-Truth on his way to a submission victory with his devastating Full Nelson. Seemingly impressed with Lashley’s aggression, MVP arrived after the match to applaud The All Mighty.

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – Attack Of The Short Yet Decent Matches Part 3. How can one promoter waste so much talent?

Match #4: Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross def. The IIconics – WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Match (Disqualification)

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Billie Kay & Peyton Royce were out to capitalize on their big win over the champions last week. However, Royce, the illegal woman in the bout, repeatedly threw Bliss into the ring post, leaving the official with no choice but to disqualify Kay & Royce, ending their dreams of a second reign.

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – This wasn’t much, but not necessarily bad, either. It’s a shame these prize fights are often as worthwhile as a paper weight in outer space, but that’s how Vince books…the dumb-ass.

Match #5: Shayna Baszler def. Natalya – Submission Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After last week’s loss to The Queen of Spades, Natalya wanted this Submission Match to show that the Sharpshooter is the superior submission hold. However, Baszler fought her way out of the hold and locked on the Kirifuda Clutch, leaving Natalya with no choice but to tap out. A second loss in as many weeks left Natalya disappointed and ready to unleash her anger on the set of “The Kevin Owens Show.”

My Opinion: 3.3 out of 5 – This was a really snazzy match that was way too shor…snazzy? Why in the hell did I say snazzy? This damn key-board doesn’t have that delete button yet. Snazzy? Shayna and Natalya should be trusted with more time, especially with a big stipulation like a Submission Match.

Match #6: Kevin Owens & Apollo Crews def. Andrade & Angel Garza

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

While Zelina Vega and her crew have some dissention in the ranks, Kevin Owens had a surprise that made things even worse: the return of Apollo Crews, who went right after United States Champion Andrade. In the ensuing tag team match, Crews bulldozed through Angel Garza to pick up the victory. After the bell, Andrade & Garza took out their frustrations on Austin Theory, seemingly kicking him out of Vega’s group.

My Opinion: 2.8 out of 5 – Why are there so many short matches on this show? Everybody worked hard in this match, but the match just wasn’t very forgiving, due to the short length. At least Crews won the match.

Match #7: Aleister Black def. (Buddy) Murphy (Disqualification)

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The Dutch Destroyer was out for retribution on Murphy, but the match came to a premature conclusion when Austin Theory interfered at the behest of Seth Rollins. The Monday Night Messiah was transfixed with Theory as he recovered from the attack by Andrade & Garza, then extended his hand to the 22-year-old. Theory hit Black with the ATL, then embraced The Monday Night Messiah. Has Rollins found another disciple?

My Opinion: 2.8 out of 5 – Remember when these two had the great trilogy a few months back? Now they have a couple of minutes and a bad finish. Who’d they piss off?

Match #8: (Main Event) Drew McIntyre def. King Corbin

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Before this inter-brand match could even begin, Bobby Lashley & MVP arrived, with The All Mighty putting the WWE Champion on notice. Despite the potential for Lashley & MVP to distract him, McIntyre absorbed everything King Corbin threw at him and fought back. The WWE Champion showed why he is the titleholder and not a “follower,” as Corbin claimed, putting the King of the Ring down with a thunderous Claymore. The WWE Champion stood tall at the end of the night, seemingly ready for the challenge that awaits him in the form of Bobby Lashley.

My Opinion: 2.9 out of 5 – This was the first longer match of the show, but not much better. It was nice having an inter-brand match, but Corbin is a good candidate for that match in push only. At least Drew won the bout, which is a nice way of saying that Baron Corbin upside down is a p—-.

News Of The Night:

  1. Austin Theory was beaten out of the Zelina Vega faction and coerced into the Seth Rollins one.
  2. Apollo Crews is back and gets a US Title shot, next week.
  3. Kevin Owens is back and had an episode of The KO Show with Zelina Vega’s faction as the guests.
  4. Asuka attacked Nia Jax for attacking Kairi Sane.
  5. The Viking Raiders defeated The Street Profits in an axe-throwing competition.
  6. Bobby Lashley challenged Drew McIntyre to a World Title fight for Backlash.
  7. Edge accepted Randy Orton’s challenge to a traditional wrestling match for Backlash.

Final Verdict: 2.4/5

This is what they call a s— show. This roster deserves so much better, pandemic or not.

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