Nerdly » ‘All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite’ Review (March 4th 2020)

08th Mar2020

‘All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite’ Review (March 4th 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s AEW Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and Jenna Fischer is not married to me. Are you kidding? That woman would kick my ass if she had to wake-up to my slab of bacon schmuck mug. Okay, we’ve got Chris Jericho’s big-ass hissy fit for losing the World Title and Jon Moxley celebrating like a pirate in Alabama.

Match #1: Colt Cabana & SCU defeated The Dark Order

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

“The Dark Order are the #1 ranked tag team in AEW,” noted Tony Schiavone. After some classic catch-wrestling, Colt took down Grayson with head scissors. The Dark Order swarmed Colt, until Colt finally got the tag and SCU evened up the odds. Silver isolated Daniels while the Dark Order began to work over CD in their corner. Grayson stomped down on Daniels chest, then tagged Silver in who gave some wicked forearms to the “Fallen Angel.” As the beat down continued, Evil Uno shouted, “You should have joined, Chris! You should have joined!” A brawl broke out between both teams. SCU teed off on Evil Uno. Daniels took flight with a tope suicida on Grayson! Cabana came in and got the pinfall victory via the Chicago Skyline and the Superman finisher!

My Opinion: 2.9 out of 5 – This was pretty fun, with typical indy stuff all over this bad boy like Mike White on Survivor’s Jeff Probst. Evil Uno looks like a gas attendant who steals your kids while you’re on the john. Grayson is getting a little too damn good for The Dark Order, but maybe that’s the plan (I hope). There’s some nice moves here and Colt was a good change of pace, but there needs to be more going on than just fulfilling storylines.

Match #2: Big Swole defeated Leva Bates

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

The Librarian hit Big Swole with a hardcover book and then a backstabber. But Big Swole made short work of Leva, with a head kick, a cutter, and then with her finisher, Dirty Dancing, for the three count!

My Opinion: 1.2 out of 5 – This was s—. This was a nasty squash match.

Match #3: PAC defeated Chuck Taylor

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

PAC and Taylor squared up in the center of the ring, and PAC took Taylor down with a side headlock. “Trying to catch PAC is like trying to pour smoke through a keyhole,” said Jim Ross. PAC went to the outside of the ring to confront Orange Cassidy, but Chuckie T. caught a distracted PAC with a baseball slide. Trent used a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on PAC, but PAC was up on his feet in no time with a shoulder tackle to Chuckie T. Chuck went over the top with a pescado to PAC! “Chuck Taylor has PAC rattled,” said Excalibur. Chuck lured PAC into the corner and connected with the awful waffle for a two count! Chuck followed up with a moonsault, but no one was home! PAC grabbed Chuck and sunk in the Brutalizer submission for the victory!

My Opinion: 3.3 out of 5 – This turned out very nicely and got about ten minutes. Why not give these guys five extra minutes? This would have been better in PWG, but AEW is a corporate deal now, so there are restrictions, even if they are self-imposed. PAC has gotten real evil lately, which is working real well for him. Hey, this was good, but you can tell that I’m losing interest in talking about it…promote this next time and maybe I’ll feel differently about random ten minute bout between two guys who deserve better than…this.

Match #4: Jake Hager defeated QT Marshall

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Hager quickly wrestled QT to the mat. QT tried jumping off the middle rope and Hager hit him with a running shoulder. Dustin Rhodes paced outside the ring. The fans chanted for QT as he tried to fight back with fists to Hager’s midsection. Hager went for the Vader Bomb but QT got the boots up, and then followed up with some explosive right hands. QT attempted a swinging DDT but Hager tossed him across the ring and locked in the standing arm triangle to put QT to sleep!

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – This was a dull little thing that kinda limped along, but QT, believe it or not, picked up the slack. This was about three minutes of “WHY!? WHY?! F———–!!!!!!!”, but at least it got the job done.

Match #5: (Main Event) Chris Jericho & Sammy Guevara defeated Jon Moxley & Darby Allin

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

As Mox was making his way to the ring through the fans, three men wearing luchador masks assaulted him. In the arena concourse, as they continued to lay in shots to Moxley, they unmasked: it was Jake Hager, Santana and Ortiz of the Inner Circle! Chris Jericho laughed in the ring as he watched the beat down on the monitors. Mox tried to fight back to his feet, but Hager applied the arm-and-head choke, neutralizing the champ. “Darby Allin has to take on both men by himself apparently,” said Tony Schiavone. The bell rang and Darby blasted Sammy with a shotgun dropkick! Momentum shifted as Sammy used a running knee strike on Darby, right on target! Jericho tagged in and gave Darby a back suplex. Doc Sampson tended to Moxley in the arena concourse while the Inner Circle left him and walked to the ringside area to watch Jericho and Sammy. Jericho sat down deep with the Walls of Jericho on Darby! Jericho had to break the hold when Darby finally grabbed the bottom rope. Jericho pushed Darby to the outside and Hager snuck in a few kicks. Darby smashed Jericho with fiery forearms, but Le Champion hurled Darby over the ringside barrier! Back in the ring, Jericho dropped Darby with a stalling vertical suplex. Jericho and Sammy laughed at Darby, posing in unison, and then taunted him. Darby desperately needed to tag, but this was basically a two-on-one match. Darby rallied back and clotheslined Jericho over the top rope. Darby sacrificed his own body and jumped through the ropes to the outside onto Jericho! Unfortunately, Darby had taken a lot of punishment by this point, and Sammy capitalized on this: he picked up Darby and pancaked him to the mat, even managing to kick him on the way down! Jericho tagged in and dished out forearms to Darby, and once again, Darby fought back! Jericho went for the LionSault but Darby lifted his knees, knocking the wind out of Jericho. Darby tagged…well, he tagged in himself, nailing the Coffin Drop to the Inner Circle on the outside of the ring! Darby followed up with a stunner on Sammy, and then another Coffin Drop for a near fall! Darby launched himself to the outside onto Jericho, but Jericho countered with the Judas Effect, just as Darby was midflight. Sammy covered Darby for the pin!

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was a fun main event that was typical WWE action with an AEW wrapper. Allin was the thing to see here, as he performed incredibly well while having the aura of a star. You could probably guess every-thing that happens here, but it was enjoyable all the same.