‘All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite’ Review (Feb 19th 2020)
Welcome to this week’s AEW: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have some big matches here, like the Steel Cage main event between Cody Rhodes and Wardlow, as well as the “Pity Party On A Pole Match” between the entire Democratic Party…p——. “Smart” Mark D. Mark, famed wrestling pundit, once said, “Wrestling is at its best when it’s just promos for two hours.” Le Champion says, “Suck it, bay-bay!” This is CNN.
Match #1: The Young Bucks (Matt & Nick Jackson), Jurassic Express (Luchasaurus and Jungle Boy), #Stronghearts (CIMA and T-Hawk), The Butcher & the Blade, The Best Friends (Chuck Taylor and Trent), John Silver and Alex Reynolds, The Hybrid2 (Angelico and Jack Evans), Private Party (Isiah Kassidy and Marq Quen) Ortiz and Santana, SoCal Uncensored (Frankie Kazarian and Scorpio Sky) – #1 Contender’s Tag Team Battle Royal For An AEW World Tag Title Shot
The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:
All the teams started on the outside of the ring, and when the bell rang, they all ran into the ring (except for Santana and Ortiz, who casually observed from ringside with Sammy Guevara). Scorpio Sky jumped off the top rope into the pile and sent bodies everywhere! Jack Evans went up next, but he was caught and was the first man dumped out of the ring. Logic made Angelico a marked man as soon as his partner was eliminated. Isiah hoisted T-Hawk out of the ring next. Frankie Kazarian gave a double clothesline to John Silver and Alex Reynolds. Kazarian was distracted by the Dark Order’s recruiter; the man in the suit stood in the crowd and claimed “the Exalted One” would be coming soon. Silver and Reynolds used this to their advantage and eliminated the distracted SCU. The Young Bucks gained revenge for their fallen friends and superkicked Silver and Reynolds out of the match! Santana and Ortiz finally entered the ring. Luchasaurus gave a pump kick to CIMA blasting him out of the ring! The Bunny climbed the ring apron to grab the attention of the Jurassic Express. The Butcher and the Blade then assaulted Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus. On the outside, CIMA was given a mask by the Dark Order, and he left through the crowd, contemplating their offer. Nick Jackson was eliminated next. “We have a hoss fight on our hands,” said Excalibur, as Luchasaurus and the Butcher traded strikes in the center of the ring! Santana and Ortiz revoked Private Party’s invitation, throwing them out of the ring. Jungle Boy was eliminated next, with Sammy G. holding him by the ankles from the outside. It took four men to haul Luchasaurus over the top rope! The Best Friends delivered their sole food-half-and-half combo to Santana! The Blade attempted to throw Trent over the top, but Orange Cassidy popped up from out of nowhere and saved Trent’s feet from touching the arena floor. The Blade was eliminated! Trent and Matt Jackson teamed-up to give superkicks to the Butcher! As Trent and Matt hugged, the Butcher clobbered them with clotheslines. Jim Ross said, “I don’t think Butcher and the Blade and the Best Friends like each other. There’s a rivalry developing there.” Trent and the Butcher slugged it out on the ring apron. Butcher was laying in the shots, but Trent brought the heavy leather himself. Orange Cassidy was kneed in the pulp by the Bunny, and was unable to catch Trent when Trent was knocked from the ring. Matt Jackson and Santana and Ortiz were the final competitors. Santana and Ortiz gave a street sweeper to Matt! They tried to throw Matt out but he held on to the ropes. Matt superkicked Ortiz from the ring, and then superkicked Sammy G, who had tried to interfere in the match. Matt Jackson outlasted everyone else, eliminating Santana. The Young Bucks are the winners, and they’ll be facing the AEW Tag Team Champions at AEW REVOLUTION!
My Opinion: 3.8 out of 5 – This was really damn good. I s— you not. Isn’t that an elegant phrase: “I s— you not”? Wonderful. As for the match itself, this was quite intricate for a Battle Royal. I’m comfortable with the high rating, due to several fantastic action sequences in here that had more than enough fighting to make a housewife horny. This wasn’t quite the blitz you might be getting an impression of, but this was just strong wrestling in a Battle Royal, which we don’t always get. I could have gone with any team winning this and been fine. So far, this match was the most ringing endorsement of the AEW tag division.
Match #2: Kris Statlander defeated Shanna
The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:
Shanna had a beautiful wristlock on Statlander, and Statlander reversed it. Statlander started doing cartwheels around Shanna. Literally. Shanna pie-faced Statlander, but Statlander showed off her power with an elbow to Shanna. “Why does it always have to be ‘pie-faced’? Why can’t it be cake? I happen to love cake,” added Jim Ross. Statlander ran in with a lifting uppercut, then a knee, and then a power bomb on Shanna. Statlander took too much time trying for a moonsault, and Shanna kicked her down into a tree of woe. Shanna ascended to the top and crashed onto Statlander with knees! Statlander kicked out at two! Shanna spiked Statlander on the crown of her head with a DDT! Again, Statlander escaped the pin. Shanna smashed into Statlander with a low drop kick, but that couldn’t stop Statlander. Kris Statlander reversed Shanna and finished the match with the Big Bang Theory on Shanna, scoring the pin fall!
My Opinion: 3.3 out of 5 – This was a fine, detailed bout with a nice rise in action. This was firm in all the important places and flexible in all the others. Statlander kicks ass and Shanna isn’t exactly sucking-up the joint. This had a tension to it that helped make this feel like something more than just another women’s match. Statlander…f— yeah.
Match #3: Jon Moxley defeated Jeff Cobb
The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:
“This is going to be Grade A restaurant quality slobber knocker,” said Jim Ross. Mox walked down the arena steps, through the fans. Cobb was introduced next by AEW ring announcer, “the Dapper Yapper” Justin Roberts. Le Champion Chris Jericho’s music hit, and he, along with Sammy G. and “the Big Hurt” Jake Hager sat ringside, showing off their front row tickets. Cobb gave a belly-to-belly suplex to Moxley, nearly suplexing him out of his boots. Even Taz, “the Human Suplex Machine,” was impressed by Cobb’s technique. Mox dished out chops to Cobb on the outside of the ring, trying to build up some offense on the Inner Circle’s hired gun. Cobb connected with a head-butt to Mox. “This mercenary is dismantling Jon Moxley,” said Excalibur. “Chris Jericho wants a bunch of pain put into Mox, and who better than Cobb to do that,” noted Taz. Mox went for a cross body block, but Cobb stopped him with force, almost putting Mox in the Tour of the Islands. Mox escaped and countered by wrenching Cobb’s knee. Mox’s momentum was short-lived as Cobb began to punish Mox’s ribs. Cobb caught Mox on the outside of the ring and flipped him right over his head onto the arena floor! Mox connected with two knee strikes and a thunderous clothesline to Cobb. “You want strong style? You’re getting it here!” said Taz. Moxley was hitting Cobb with lefts and rights, but Cobb clotheslined him. Mox looked for the Paradigm Shift, but Cobb escaped with a running uppercut. Cobb went to suplex Mox from the turnbuckles, but Mox held onto Cobb’s legs and rolled him up for the three count!
My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was damn good for just around eleven minutes. This was a natural pairing. Cobb looked like a bigger star than he has in Ring Of Honor so far. Yeah, go figure. Moxley really complimented Cobb’s style and presence. There wasn’t any fluff with this match. This was all about hard hits and big shots. I liked this.
Match #4: Kenny Omega & Adam Page defeated The Lucha Brothers – AEW Tag Team Title Match
The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:
The challengers—the Lucha Bros., were out first. “Hangman” Page walked out to the ring by himself. And Kenny was out last, to a huge ovation. The crowd was chanting “Cowboy S—t!” to show their support of “Hangman” Page. Page and Fenix locked up in the center of the ring. A big boot from Page stopped Fenix. Omega was tagged in and used a Kotaro Crusher on Fenix for a near fall. The champs were keeping the pressure on Fenix with quick tags. Fenix got in a few chops to Page, but Page got angry in a hurry and chopped Fenix right down to the mat. The champs hit a running knee-moonsault combo onto Fenix for a two count. “Did Kenny tweak his knee?” asked Tony Schiavone. Fenix finally tagged in his brother Pentagon, and they took full advantage of the post-tag 10 count. The Lucha Bros. were dissecting Omega in the corner with an onslaught of tag team precision! “Omega has real problems with that left leg,” said Jim Ross. Page was tagged in and tossed Pentagon over his head, then hit a pescado over the top to the outside on Fenix. He followed up with a sliding lariat onto Pentagon for a two count! Omega was tagged in, and had a noticeable limp. Page countered a sling blade, but Pentagon decimated Omega with a Canadian Destroyer! The fans were chanting “This is awesome!” Omega and Pentagon took turns trading chops on the apron of the ring, and Omega powered out of a package pile driver! “Hangman” used a discus lariat on Pentagon for another near fall. The match went into overdrive here! Page attempted the Buckshot Lariat onto Penta, but Penta evaded it, and instead Page inadvertently hit Omega. Penta quickly used the Penta-Driver for a two count on Kenny! Somehow Kenny kicked out! Kenny hit a snapdragon suplex onto Pentagon, then an anti-air V-trigger onto Fenix. Kenny hit the Tiger Driver 98 on Fenix for a two count! Omega went for his One-Winged Angel and Fenix fought out. Page got the blind tag and the champs used the Buckshot Lariat-V-trigger combo for an incredible victory.
My Opinion: 4.3 out of 5 – This was some great s—. This got lots of time and made good on every second. Fenix was something else here, especially when he ran the top rope on his own and did a shin kick to Omega that’ll make you wince as much as Omega might actually have. There’s too much top-notch s— here to fully recap in detail (not that my lazy ass would do that anyway). Trust me…go watch this home-run before the ball flies out of this stratosphere.
Match #5: (Main Event) Cody Rhodes defeated Wardlow – Steel Cage Match
The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:
The only way to win was by pin fall or submission. MJF accompanied Wardlow to the ring. Cody was out next, joined by Arn Anderson and Brandi Rhodes. A high kick from Cody found its mark across Wardlow’s face, but Wardlow didn’t budge. He posed in front of Cody, trying to intimidate him. Cody dropped down to the mat and connected with an uppercut to Wardlow. Cody followed up with a Disaster Kick, but even this couldn’t take Wardlow off his feet. Wardlow used a clothesline on Cody, and then tossed him like a lawn dart into the steel cage! MJF was barking orders at Wardlow from ringside. Wardlow power bombed Cody against the cage! He booted Cody, and began using the cage against Cody’s forehead, which was busted wide open. “Wardlow is manhandling Cody. Cody is losing a lot of blood!” said Jim Ross. Cody found the will to pick Wardlow off his feet and pancake him. Cody used a cutter on Wardlow! Cody was laying in shots to the head of Wardlow, but Wardlow used a low blow to halt Cody’s momentum. Wardlow picked Cody up on his shoulders and used a spinning F-10 on Cody! Wardlow, arrogantly, did not attempt to go for the cover. Wardlow started raking Cody’s forehead across the steel cage. Then Cody was knocked headfirst against the cage door, popping it open with the momentum. Cody’s head was positioned just through the cage door, and Arn Anderson grabbed the door before MJF could slam it on Cody’s head. Instead, Arn swung the cage door in the other direction, nailing MJF with it! Wardlow tried for a power bomb but Cody escaped. Cody rallied back and hit the monster with three clotheslines. Cody used a powerslam on Wardlow for a near fall. Cody climbed to the top rope but Wardlow caught him with a right hand, and then military pressed Cody against the steel cage! Wardlow hit a senton onto Cody for a two count! “That was amazing for a man that size,” said Tony Schiavone. MJF tossed the “DYNAMITE diamond ring” through the cage to Wardlow, but Cody countered with a low blow to Wardlow. MJF began to climb the cage from the outside, but Brandi Rhodes stopped him in his tracks by swinging a folding chair at MJF. Upset with Cody’s wife, MJF angrily approached Brandi. “Nightmare Family” head coach Arn Anderson stepped in and whipped MJF over the ringside barricade! Cody connected with an uppercut and then the CrossRhodes for a two count onto Wardlow! Cody looked up, almost in a trance-like state, and scaled the cage. Cody climbed all the way to the top and hit a moonsault off the steel cage onto Wardlow for the three count! As a result of his victory, “the American Nightmare” Cody will be facing MJF at AEW REVOLUTION!
My Opinion: 4 out of 5 – This was a fantastic match that really delivered a great Steel Cage Match. There wasn’t any of that “escape” s—, so the match didn’t take any easy way out. Wardlow ended-up being damn good. Cody had an easy night when it came to getting the crowd to rally behind him. Awesome displays of skill were the order of the day with this brutal fight amidst the walls of cold, hard steel wire. Uh oh…I almost started to act like I cared. How do I Gen X my way out of this? Stripper poll, b—-! Yeah, that works. I could have watched this all day. By the way, the ending was perfect. Also, no “escape” bull-s—…f— yeah.
News Of The Night:
- Kris Statlander and Big Swole both challenged Nyla Rose to a Women’s Title Match.
- Darby Allin saved Jon Moxley from the Inner Circle’s wrath.
- The Adam Page turn from The Elite continued with Page shirking a pow-wow with the faction in favor of drinking with the fans.
- AEW action figures are coming summer of this year from Wicked Cool Toys (a Jazwares Company).
- The Best Friends fight The Butcher & The Blade, next week.
- PAC fights Omega in a 30-Minute Iron-Man Match, next week.
Final Verdict: 4.4/5
This was a great episode and the best in a long while. There weren’t any terrible Inner Circle promos or ten hours of The Dark Order pretending not to be indy trash (and I like these guys, but let’s be real), so the whole show had to rely on the wrestling and it succeeded. If a couple of the matches had been longer, then this would have been even better. I had a great time.