WWE Raw – Oct 14th 2019: Results & Review

Welcome to this week’s Monday Night Raw review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have the second half of the WWE Draft to get to, so don’t bend over to get the soap. I want a pizza…a pizza that ass!

Match #1: Becky Lynch def. Charlotte Flair

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Following a strong showing by Friday Night SmackDown, Raw wasted no time looking to assert its dominance during Night 2 of the WWE Draft, with first overall pick and Raw Women’s Champion Becky Lynch defeating Charlotte Flair to secure the evening’s first overall pick for Team Red. For those of you keeping score, that means two straight No. 1 selections for Raw. Seth Rollins earned the No. 1 overall pick that would eventually be used on Lynch when he defeated Roman Reigns via disqualification last Friday, and The Man claimed yet another victory against her longtime adversary, who subbed in at the last minute for an injured Sasha Banks. And while Lynch and Flair acknowledged they’ve had more than their fair share of battles, time had clearly not dulled the animosity between the two WrestleMania main-eventers. Charlotte gained the early advantage with a sucker-punch that kicked off a pre-match brawl, but The Man clawed her way back, kicking out of move after move in a way that clearly frayed at Charlotte’s patience. As The Queen seethed on the mat after Becky kicked out of a spear, Lynch struck with a crucifix roll-up that put Flair down for three.

My Opinion: 3.3 out of 5 – This was a good match to start the show with, not unlike watching The Incredible Hulk walking down a flight of stairs. HULK HATE STAIRS! STAIRS SUCK! Becky and Charlotte were given something closer to fifteen minutes, but they weren’t able to reach the heights of their previous matches. TOO MANY STEPS! HULK HATE STEPS! This felt a lot like watching a turtle fall down some stair-steps while it held its mouth open and its tongue out like Albert Einstein in that stupid picture. TURTLE! ALBERT EINSTEIN! HULK HATE DAMN STAIRS! STUPID TURTLE! I wish this could have been a bit more exciting, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles. COOKIES! HULK EAT COOKIES AFTER STAIRS! HURRY UP STUPID STAIRS! Overall, this was a good match that ended a bit too simply.

Match #2: Andrade def. Ali

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The first surprise of Raw’s WWE Draft came at the end of the first round when USA Network execs used the No. 5 overall pick to draft Andrade and Zelina Vega. The pick was something of a curious one: For all his remarkable talent, the former NXT Champion has been conspicuously quiet since driving Rey Mysterio to the brink of retirement a couple of months ago. But Andrade quickly surged back into the forefront moments after his number was called, notching a win over Ali that served as notice that Raw won’t be relegated to B-show status quite so easily. The match was also a crash course for anyone who hasn’t seen enough of Andrade to know what made him worthy of a first-round selection. The former NXT Champion bent the rules, smashed his foe in the face where applicable and scored the win by executing the Hammerlock DDT after Zelina Vega incapacitated Ali behind the ref’s back. Ali, for his part, looked as impressive in defeat as he did against Randy Orton at WWE Hell in a Cell, and he put on enough of a showing that USA or FOX will undoubtedly be motivated to take a flyer on him. But in terms of immediate return on investment, it’s hard to beat Andrade — literally and figuratively.

My Opinion: 3.1 out of 5 – This was easy viewing, but not long enough for my taste. In any other league, these two would have already headlined in more ways than one, but the WWE gives them five fingers and a chicken for time, which ain’t enough. The moves were top-notch, I would have loved for this to have gone longer, but we had to make time for promos, because “people don’t watch wrestling for wrestling” (as quoted directly from noted wrestling pundit “Smart” Mark D. Mark). Like The Bee Gees in a helium huffing contest, this was a lot of fun, if all too brief for my taste.

Match #3: The Viking Raiders def. Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode – Raw Tag Team Championship Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

For months, The Viking Raiders’ ascension to the Raw Tag Team Championships has felt like a matter of when, not if. And now, that time has come. Following a non-title win over Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode that got them a championship match, Erik & Ivar finally stormed into Valhalla by defeating the titleholders to notch their first reign as Raw Tag Team Champions. Ziggler & Roode made it a fight by using the same strategy they employed last week, keeping Erik from tagging in Ivar. The champions did their best to wear down the smaller Raider with attacks to the outside that included a Zig Zag into the various debris of the timekeeper’s area. They even held Ivar at bay when he tagged in, continuing to work over Erik with an array of individual and combined finishing maneuvers. But Ivar once again came to his partner’s aid at the last second, taking out both champs with a springboard back-elbow and teeing Ziggler up for the fateful Viking Experience.

My Opinion: 3.4 out of 5 – This was an excellent match that gave one of wrestling’s best tag teams the straps in the biggest wrestling league today. Despite the stupid name, The VR ripped through Roode and Ziggler like they were still War Machine (way better name). The wrestling was logical and thrilling, which is how it ought to be. Good stuff.

Match #4: Aleister Black def. Eric Young

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

When it comes to Aleister Black and Eric Young, it’s a tale of two draft picks. Despite their similar world-traveled credentials, the former was a highly-coveted pick (he went 10th overall on Night 2 to Raw), while the latter was an undrafted signee by Team Red in the wake of the Draft’s first night. And while “The World’s Last Maniac” certainly showcased his agility and cunning, Black proved to be the marquee player his high selection suggested. In what turned out to be a frantic, quick victory, the former NXT Champion rolled with Young’s rabid offense and stood firm, catching his opponent with the vice-like Dark Ritual submission hold to end the bout with a tapout. If this match is any indication, Aleister Black might finally be unleashed on an unsuspecting roster, and his opponents might well find themselves wishing he stayed put in that room.

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – This was a squash that favored Black, but wasted Young. The O’Jays would never have wasted Eric Young. The O’Jays are great singers. Ship Ahoy!

Match #5: Ricochet def. Shelton Benjamin

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Once upon a time, the WWE Universe talked about Shelton Benjamin the way they talk about Ricochet now. So the pair’s match on Raw didn’t just have something of a generational flavor, it almost became the moment that Benjamin reclaimed his status as WWE’s resident five-tool player. Ricochet was clearly caught unaware by the former Intercontinental Champion, who combined his late-career power game with the agility that never left him. But the former United States Champion had speed on his side, stopping The Gold Standard’s top-rope arm drag by landing on his feet and hitting the Recoil in short order. The USA Network executives are surely patting themselves on the back for landing Ricochet … and maybe taking a second look at Benjamin, too. After all, what’s a superhero without a mirror image?

My Opinion: 3.1 out of 5 – This was a great pairing that didn’t get to enjoy what should have been billed as a dream match. Benjamin kept up with Ricochet, who continues to perform better than the booking often allows. Like The Adirisi Brothers said to The Buggles, “Video Killed The Radio Star”, but we’re gonna kick the $#!@ out of you p&$$!s and whatever our most popular song was. Why could this match have not gone longer? How many times do I have to say that in this review?

Match #6: Buddy Murphy def. Cedric Alexander

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Right around the same time over the summer, Cedric Alexander and Buddy Murphy began to make long-awaited waves on Raw and SmackDown following months of inactivity in the wake of the Superstar Shake-up. Now, both former WWE Cruiserweight Champions are on Raw, and it looks like they won’t be relegated to the sidelines any longer. The two purple-brand veterans put on a barnburner in the middle of the WWE Draft that showcased what they’re all about … and why Murphy may hold the slight edge between the two. Yes, Murphy — “The Best Kept Secret,” though we can safely say secret’s probably out now — walked away with the win, but what stuck was manner in which he did it. Alexander, who is known for launching himself headlong at his opponent, used his hybrid offense to impressive effect. But Murphy’s counters and strikes proved devastating. He blasted Alexander with a jumping knee right to the face, launched himself over the ropes and struck with Murphy’s Law to finally hand Alexander a hit from which he could not recover. And at this rate, the only way Buddy Murphy — or Cedric Alexander, for that matter — remains a secret of any kind is going to be simply because you refuse to pay attention.

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – This was over way too quickly. See? I had to write it again. I’m getting pissed. I feel like a high-school student who got his nuts stuck in his zipper while taking The Wiz. Both of these guys are fabulous athletes, but they aren’t the type that tend to keep Vince McMahon’s interest, so I don’t see either doing well in this league years from now. I hope I’m wrong, but nacho cheese tastes good, so I’m probably right. Big Bird should be hosting “The Tonight Show”, not Skippy-Boy Magee Jr.

Match #7: The Kabuki Warriors def. Natalya & Lacey Evans

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

It’s long been speculated that the most stringent rivals make the best partners, so it’s not that much of a surprise that Natalya selected SmackDown draftee Lacey Evans — the same Lacey Evans she’s been battling for a month now — as her tag team partner against The Kabuki Warriors. Nor is it necessarily a surprise that The Warriors came out with the win: They’re the more established team and are the reigning WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions, after all. What was somewhat surprising was that the pair turned out to be something of a perfect fit. Evans, the powerhouse, absorbed the lioness’ share of The Kabuki Warriors’ offense — Kairi Sane put a particular walloping on her outside the ring — and the veteran Natalya served as the perfect closer, or she would have had The Pirate Princess not rushed the ring to break up the Sharpshooter to initiate a casual dissection by Asuka. Evans eventually made her way back into the match to spell a drained Natalya and even connected with the Woman’s Right on Sane, but unbeknownst to Evans, Asuka had tagged in and pounced with a roll-up for the win.

My Opinion: 2.6 out of 5 – This had the length that a main event should have, but the quality just wasn’t there. This was a match that felt like it was on auto-pilot some-times, so make what you will of that. The right team won, but when the match is putting the crickets to sleep, it’s hard to get the crowd to care.

News Of The Night:

1. Tyson Fury was made to look weak compared to Braun Strowman when the former tried to break a pen in half and failed to do so.

2. Seth Rollins burned down Bray Wyatt’s Fire-Fly Fun-House.

3. A “block-buster” roster trade will be discussed on the WWE’s new studio show “WWE Back-Stage”, Tuesday night on Fox Sports 1.

4. Here’s the full WWE Draft results for night two, courtesy of wwe.com:

Round 1

• Raw: Seth Rollins
• SmackDown: Brock Lesnar
• Raw: Charlotte Flair
• SmackDown: The New Day
• Raw: Andrade (with Zelina)

Round 2

• Raw: The Kabuki Warriors
• SmackDown: Daniel Bryan
• Raw: Rusev
• SmackDown: Bayley
• Raw: Aleister Black

Round 3

• Raw: Cedric Alexander
• SmackDown: Shinsuke Nakamura
• Raw: Humberto Carillo
• SmackDown: Ali
• Raw: Erick Rowan

Round 4

• Raw: Buddy Murphy
• SmackDown: Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode
• Raw: Jinder Mahal
• SmackDown: Carmella
• Raw: R-Truth

Round 5

• Raw: Samoa Joe
• SmackDown: The Miz
• Raw: Akira Tozawa
• SmackDown: King Corbin
• Raw: Shelton Benjamin

• Round 6

• Raw: Rey Mysterio
• SmackDown: Shorty Gable
• Raw: Titus O’Neil
• SmackDown: Elias
• Raw: Liv Morgan

Final Verdict: 2.7/5

There was some fine wrestling here, but the show itself was so disappointing. Every opportunity to capitalize on some-thing great was squandered in favor of sticking to the plan, what-ever that might actually mean. This was such a dull show, with little life in it. Vince McMahon has been officially challenged as the top of the food chain and has answered that challenge by eating Cheetos instead of buying steak. Go figure. Also, hang in there Christian. Keep your chin up. You’ll be fine, buddy. Do your work and don’t mouth off too much and you’ll be alright. Well…you can mouth off a bit more than I’m letting on, just don’t be mean. El pescado. Okay, Gwyneth Paltrow looks like a hot Skeletor.